Sunday, October 16, 2011

The World Begins Again

I have this theory about dirt. Actually, I consider it to be more of an ingenious epiphany...but whatever.

You know when you inadvertently receive a splatter of wet dirt (I believe you outdoorsy-types may refer to it as…mud) on your garment? Maybe it got there when you:

·         Side-swiped the dirty fender of your car whilst misjudging the distance needed to properly walk around your car, versus haphazardly walking into it…or
·         It randomly appeared after you enthusiastically dumped an entire gallon of water into your potted plant in a vain attempt to compensate for not watering it for a month…or
·         You have no freakin’ idea how it got there and actually wasn’t even sure it was mud until you’d delicately sampled a small portion of it and determined that it was definitely not pudding, Oreo dust or brownie batter.

Okay, people…there’s an epiphany on tap. Stay with me. No-one honestly cares how the dirt got there…you could be a closet puddle-jumper for all we care. The burning question is: what do you do now? You could moisten a towel and rub vigorously at the offending matter…but that will only serve to grind the organic stain deeper into your garment. The second option makes a lot more sense: let it dry and then casually brush it away.

Voila, kablam! (Picture Kathryn making wild magician-like gestures here.)

This is a clear example of why it’s sometimes better to leave crap alone to see if it’ll go away.

Yeah, I know. I’m like the Dalai Lama…with the addition of a full head of hair and the exclusion of all that bothersome spiritual serenity.  

So, it’s been a smidge over a year since I began my efforts to squeeze the same amount of social media/blogging/visiting/commenting I’d managed prior to the full-time-work gig and we all know how well that’s working out.

I wonder how the Dalai Lama would handle this.

Dalai Lama: “Hummmmmm. Ummmmmmm. Find the inner wisdom that lies beneath you…release the expectations of yesterday and embrace the knowledge that your tomorrows are celebrations…brimming with endless potential, blessings and dreams. Ummmmm……”

Me: “Really? Are you kidding me?? That’s the biggest load of poopoo I’ve ever heard. You can’t be serious.”

Okay, so maybe Dalai’s way is simply not the Kathrynville way.

I know that my absence here must reek of indifference…but nothing could be further from the truth. Autism, motherhood and the painstaking effort to not co-mingle my personal-internet-world with my professional-internet-one is kicking. My. Ass.

My Conscience: “YOU NEED TO GET ONLINE.”

Me: “Can’t. Too tired.”


Me: “I want to. It’s too much. I’m online all. Freakin’. Day. My butt hurts.”

My Conscience: “DO IT.”

Me: “Please hold.”


Me: “Bite me. YOU do it. You’re not the boss of me.”

And so it goes. I believe we’re moving in the right direction…and I believe that ever so faintly, I can make out the light at the end of the tunnel.

Fingers crossed.

Sending you love,

Jerry said...

Okay, I think I have it figured out. You are going to start blogging then and get us dirty so that we can get epiphanies. You and Dalai, what a couple!

Ummmmmmm. Sure glad to see you again. You've been missed.

Alicia said...

Catching that love and tossing a whole bunch your way! I have missed you but totally understand. The whole mud thing I didn't get, but then I never get half of your brilliance and I like it just fine like that cause there's only one Kathryn in the world. It's nice just to know you're still out there kicking! Just check in from time to time and let us know you're still alive woman! Hugs!

kathryn said...

Jerry: Well, you are such a smarty-pants. Yes, I believe you have to get dirty to have an epiphany...the Dalai says it's so. I've missed you, too!

Alicia: Hugs back!! Yeah, it's a shame you're not inside my head to know where I'm going with things. But. You didn't follow the mud-analogy? It's better to wait for it to dry than to smush it in? I thought I was brilliant!!

Unknown said...

Surprised and delighted to see you pop up in my reader today! Glad to hear you are just too busy to blog and that it isn't something serious.

I think we all can understand busy-ness and priorities. Unless you're like me and you wait day after day after day to see if Kathryn is going to post because you have no life without her. Okay, so that was a load of poo, but you can feel the love, can't you?


Carol said...

Welcome home my friend, you have been missed.

kathryn said...

Kimberly: Ha! being pelted by poo, I can feel the love! I am determined to find the new "normal" for life...and need to figure out how to fit my "needs" with my "wants". I "want" to be HERE! xo

Carol: Thanks, sweetie. I've missed you as well. I hope life is treating you as the queen that you are. I'm heading over RIGHT NOW!

Dorn said...

Glad to see you back. Your epiphany works with wax too. The difference is you can usually figure out the culprit without having to taste it!

Vince said...

Where are all the photos gone from blogger do you know ???.

Gigi said...

Kathryn! You made my morning!

I get the dirt analogy, but as much as I understand it, I'm an impatient one so I usually end up smooshing it in.

Hoping all is evening out in your world!

Jeff said...

It's nice to see you pop in occasionally and share your battles with your Conscience. Now we must all be wondering what other battles Kathryn's Conscience loses? :)

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

The real epiphany is this: it's impossible to do everything at once, there are only so many hours in a day, when you have time for vacation you don't have money and when you have money you don't have time for vacation (the vacation thing is a dirt-like analogy, in case you were wondering), and when you sit in front of a computer all day, as I do as well, your butt DOES hurt - and also your back and your eyes. If you figure out how to clone yourself, let me know, OK? In the meantime, it's nice to see you breeze through once in a while. Hope to see you again soon!

Adele said...

That's completely OK, because, well, even though we miss you and your posts, we all have a real life as well, right? :) The fact that you don't have time to blog so often when life is so busy basically means that you have your priorities in the right order (I actually have no idea if a phrase like that exists in English, but oh well). And that is always good :)

Shelby said...

glad you see the light :P welcome back.

Loredana said...

The minute I saw in my blog updates that you had posted something I had to make sure my computer was f*cking with me! WELCOME BACK! Listen if you're a faithful follower you'll wait out the absence no matter what. Hope to hear more from you.

kathryn said...

Dorn: Hey, Dude! Ha! I hadn't thought of wax...but it's so true. I've missed's great to be surrounded by people who get you, right?

Vince: What photos? Are you missing yours? Honestly, I'm so out of touch, I jump in, comment and bounce right back out. (I'm a modern-day jack-in-the-box, so to speak.) I haven't even stopped to look around.

kathryn said...

Gigi: Hey, Girlfriend! Okay, so...smushing is baaad...procrastinating is good. We still have to work on this. I will drag you (probably kicking and screaming) over to the dark side.

Jeff: Hey, Bud! Heehee. You've made me sound like a lady-warrior. I like that. I hope life's been treating you well, my friend. I'll see you in a few at your place!

kathryn said...

Cathy Olliffe-Webster: Hey, Sweetie! LOVE your vacation-like-dirt analogy. You're a freakin' genius! That cloning fantasy is wonderful, huh? (Signs deeply) Now when I complain about my achy-breaky butt, I'll think of YOU!

Adele: You've said it perfectly, my faraway friend! Yes, there are definitely priorities that must be met...but being here is good for my SOUL. And I've missed you, too!

kathryn said...

Shelby: I do believe I can see that light...and thank you! It's so lovely to be missed. I'd forgotten just how much I love being here.

Loredana: Aw. Thanks so much for your sweet, sweet words. You've said all the right things...and you never make me feel guilty. I love that about absolutely feels like coming home.

Spot said...

I really have no idea what you said up there on your blog, but it could just be sleep deprivation and lack of wine on my part. I'm just glad to see a post from you!

I've been a "not blogging frequently (hardly at all)" offender lately too.


Kristy @Loveandblasphemy said...

I totally get the dirt thing. I was just thinking the same thing the other day about cat puke. Don't go cleaning it up right away! So much easier to take care of once it dries. We should teach classes on LIFE man, we are so smart.

Gay Guy said...

You and Dalai. That's a combo!

kathryn said...

Spot: Hey Sweetie! I know things have been crazy for you lately. Here's hoping for nothing more than quiet, uneventful days ahead. That would be nice, right?

Kristy: LOL! CAT PUKE! What a riot. See, I would never have known this, if not for you. That's why I think we should share our wise-ness with the masses. I mean, how many people are searching the internet right now looking for clean-up solutions for cat puke?!

Gay Guy! How's my favorite half of my favorite dynamic duo? Can't wait to visit and offer you all my wisdom and knowledge. I'm sure you've missed me, right? Right??

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