Sunday, June 1, 2008

Complacent

Complacency is described in the Webster’s Dictionary as “self satisfaction, especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies”. It is described in my house by two simple words: Taylor, Connor.

Examples of their complacency are evident throughout our home. The main hall bathroom (known by us “locals” as the boys’ bath) has double sinks. As in two. Therefore, there are two liquid soap dispensers…one for each sink. As there are two…as in deux. Did I mention this? Recently, we’ve experienced a slight malfunction in the complex internal piping under the left sink. Okay, so maybe it was six months ago…but it feels like it just happened. The thing that bugs me the most about this issue was that I’d just stored a BJ’s-sized carton of toilet paper under there and had only used one before the waterworks began. Have you any idea how heavy 7 rolls of toilet tissue get when they’re soaking wet? I’ve got to hand it to Charmin, though…they really make a quality product that’s capable of sucking up more than its share of liquid. Maybe they should put THAT in their next teevee ad... “Charmin. In a pinch, use US instead of a bucket!”



But, I digress.

Not being in the mood to deal with any more “w” issues, I did the logical thing and temporarily halted the flow of water to this faulty receptacle. Now, we’re down to one sink. As in uno. So, when the boys use up the soap in the dispenser by the right sink, do they re-stock the contents of the bottle with the handy-dandy jumbo-sized liquid soap bottle conveniently located underneath the sink…a mere foot away?

They do not.

They pull the inevitable switcheroo and I find the depleted soap container, sadly tossed away and left lying on its side by the now-useless left sink…awaiting someone of integrity to do the decent thing and refill it.

That someone would be ME.

Another obvious infraction is not so much about complacency as it is about being male, at least in my humble opinion. Connor’s computer is located in our sunroom, which is less about sun and more about the previous owners deciding to enclose their deck so they’d have one more room to vacuum and dust. In their eternal infinite wisdom, they chose to decorate this space with dark paneling (a must when trying to create any light, sunny space) …and it’s not the good stuff, either. This paneling is the kind that would suck up three times as much paint as any other wall covering and is basically a splinter waiting to happen….kind of a Velcro-meets-sandpaper effect. As Connor spends an inordinate amount of time in this room, I guess it was just a matter of time before this happened:



Yes, those are Connor’s socks. Yes, he removes them and pitches them, Derek Jeter-style at the wall until they stick. Then he leaves them there…kind of a male-version of three-dimensional art. We can only hope his artistic taste improves with age…

Of course, I can (and sometimes do) mom-scold him for doing this…but honestly, I think it’s pretty funny. It’s hard to scold someone when you’re trying not to laugh…my words come out sounding like a demented bark…(“Connor!...) and I have to keep stopping and pressing my lips tightly together to force back that giggle that’s bubbling up in my throat.

Connor knows me pretty well by now. The first time I caught him practicing this, he silently walked over and pulled one errant sock off the wall, held it out to me and said “Want to try it?”

I have to admit….I DID.

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