Sunday, November 23, 2008

Nature's Calling

Life is filled with comedic moments. You just have to really look….and there they are.

Clinton Kelly (My eternally adorable and ever present IV): “Not everyone sees the world through your comedic eye, kiddo. Hey, I like that word: comedic….comeeeeeedic. Let’s use it in a sentence...”

Kathryn: “I just did. ‘Life is filled with comedic moments.’ Were you not listening?”

C: “Of course I was listening. I just didn’t hear that part. I’m listening a good eighty percent of the time…no-one listens one hundred percent of the time.”

K: “Are you quite through? And are you going to let me explain to the hoards of people who’re waiting with ‘breath that is bated’ for the explanation of today’s post? Or, shall we discuss the percentage of time I mute the teevee during your show?”

C: (Grimaces) “Ouch. Proceed.”

K: “Whilst driving through the more rural areas of Florida, I saw something unusual.”

C: “Do tell.”

K: “Mocking? If you mock, you shall never know the comedic irony of the sight that I have visually witnessed.”

C: “I would never mock any of your visually witnessed comedic ironies. I can’t believe you’ve made me say this.”

K: “Hey. That’s what you get. Actually, there were several strange oddities I observed during our Florida foray.”

C: “Seriously. Do you even know what ‘foray’ means?”

K: “Of course I do: 1. Sudden raid. 2. Exploration of something unfamiliar; an attempt at some new occupation or activity. 3. Brief journey; a short trip or visit to a place, usually for a specific purpose. Do you honestly think I’d publicly use a word without knowing what it means? How injudicious do you think I am?”

C: (Deadpan face) “I know what injudicious means…I have a masters in journalism, you know.”

K: (Rolls eyes) “Yes, I know. And you’re incredibly well-versed in the English language…yada, yada. Hey, did I show you the table I got Dad to part with? It’s from my childhood memories”:


C: “It’s fabulous! But, what does this have to do with your foray? Is this your idea of Nature’s oddities?”

K: “Of course not. You’ve simply distracted me. I was tolerating your tirade about your higher education and I got bored and my eye was drawn to that table. That’s all.”

C: “It was not a tirade. A diatribe, maybe. Do you realize you’re up to 400 on count and you’ve yet to make a point?”

K: (Sighs) “Well, now it’s gonna seem trivial. It’s probably not even worth mentioning.”

C: “Please….I’m begging you. Enlighten us….‘bated breath’ and all that…”

K: “FINE. I saw all of these cows in this pasture? And there were these ducks standing underneath them.”

C: “And?”

K: “And, nothing. That’s it. Don’t you find that odd? Every pasture we passed, more cows…and more ducks standing underneath ‘em. It was kinda creepy.”

C: “Are you sure they weren’t geese? Or seagulls?”

K: “THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT!!! We are SO in sync, Kelly! But alas…they were ducks. White ducks. I’m sure of it.”

C: “Hm.”

K: “’Hm?’ That’s it?! You’re not even curious as to the possible nature of the seemingly unrelated co-existence of these creatures…the basic, primary nature versus nurture of these two animals that somehow causes them to be both provider and procurer of some unknown, yet instinctive essential fundamental need?”

C: “Now who’s on a tirade? Okay, Alfie….what’s it all about?”

K: “I have no idea. I Googled it and got nothin’. Just thought you’d wanna know.”

C: “Just shoot me now.”


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