Monday, December 22, 2008

Trees, Ornaments & Bras

Universal symbol of Christmas:

I’m betting the people who make these ornament hangers do not have a huge profit every year, as I’ve had this wad for about 15 years. Basically they never go bad, never break and can double as a paper clip if you’re desperate. (Yes…it works.)

Our tree:

Say it with me now: “Oooooh! Pretty!” I have the world’s only truly twinkling antique white lights. “How do you know this,” you ask? Because…I cannot find any replacements for them. They honestly twinkle…none of that frenetic seizure-provoking blinking-off-and-on…but honest-to-God twinkling. And yes, those are real sand dollars and starfish you see.
They were an impulse buy and are amongst my favorites. My absolute favorite (bar none) is the ting…those curly-cue toothpick-thin pieces of wood painted silver and gold…they whoop tinsel’s butt. Problem is that Metro keeps stealing them and trying to eat them (think upscale, holiday version of a stick), so as we wrestle them back, they’re replaced further and further up the tree. I don’t like anyone messing with my ting, as I can’t find those anymore, either.

I went to wrap some more gifts today and found these scissors in my desk caddie:

Now, what’s wrong with this picture? I had a good ten second brain delay whilst this image processed. Maybe I’ll give them to Dad to fix as part of his Christmas gift, since I don’t know what else to get him anyway. He does love fixing things.

I was also missing a UPS shipment that they claimed they delivered on Saturday. Today, I spotted something brown in the snowbank created by the snowplow guy:

(It’s in the tub, thawing out. I’m a little afraid to open it.)

Oh, Christmas joy!

Last night, I finally remembered that I needed to put a charge on the boys’ new cellphones and it took a day of pondering to figure out how I could accomplish this task without being discovered. I decided to plug them into an extension cord and charge them under my dresser…because, surely no-one would look there.

This morning, Taylor was playing with the dog on my floor and wanted to know what the blinking lights were under my dresser. Panicked, I explained that it was a new “bra-ionizer” that "specially cleanses and detoxifies my bras"….and did he want to see??

He couldn’t get out of the room fast enough.

Susan F said...

That is HILARIOUS!!! My son would have fled, too!

(What IS in that box)?

jh said...

How do you have such a nice tree with no tacky childhood sentimental ornaments? I swear next year I'm putting the old ones away & buying "adult" ones. Oh, & could you get me a bra-ionizer for next year, I really needed one of those!

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