I have this theory about dirt. Actually, I consider it to be more of an ingenious epiphany...but whatever.
You know when you inadvertently receive a splatter of wet dirt (I believe you outdoorsy-types may refer to it as…mud) on your garment? Maybe it got there when you:
· Side-swiped the dirty fender of your car whilst misjudging the distance needed to properly walk around your car, versus haphazardly walking into it…or
· It randomly appeared after you enthusiastically dumped an entire gallon of water into your potted plant in a vain attempt to compensate for not watering it for a month…or
· You have no freakin’ idea how it got there and actually wasn’t even sure it was mud until you’d delicately sampled a small portion of it and determined that it was definitely not pudding, Oreo dust or brownie batter.
Okay, people…there’s an epiphany on tap. Stay with me. No-one honestly cares how the dirt got there…you could be a closet puddle-jumper for all we care. The burning question is: what do you do now? You could moisten a towel and rub vigorously at the offending matter…but that will only serve to grind the organic stain deeper into your garment. The second option makes a lot more sense: let it dry and then casually brush it away.
Voila, kablam! (Picture Kathryn making wild magician-like gestures here.)
This is a clear example of why it’s sometimes better to leave crap alone to see if it’ll go away.
Yeah, I know. I’m like the Dalai Lama…with the addition of a full head of hair and the exclusion of all that bothersome spiritual serenity.
So, it’s been a smidge over a year since I began my efforts to squeeze the same amount of social media/blogging/visiting/commenting I’d managed prior to the full-time-work gig and we all know how well that’s working out.
I wonder how the Dalai Lama would handle this.
Dalai Lama: “Hummmmmm. Ummmmmmm. Find the inner wisdom that lies beneath you…release the expectations of yesterday and embrace the knowledge that your tomorrows are celebrations…brimming with endless potential, blessings and dreams. Ummmmm……”
Me: “Really? Are you kidding me?? That’s the biggest load of poopoo I’ve ever heard. You can’t be serious.”
Okay, so maybe Dalai’s way is simply not the Kathrynville way.
I know that my absence here must reek of indifference…but nothing could be further from the truth. Autism, motherhood and the painstaking effort to not co-mingle my personal-internet-world with my professional-internet-one is kicking. My. Ass.
My Conscience: “YOU NEED TO GET ONLINE.”
Me: “Can’t. Too tired.”
My Conscience: “YOU MUST CHECK YOUR EMAIL.”
Me: “I want to. It’s too much. I’m online all. Freakin’. Day. My butt hurts.”
My Conscience: “DO IT.”
Me: “Please hold.”
My Conscience: “HURRY UP. WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU?”
Me: “Bite me. YOU do it. You’re not the boss of me.”
And so it goes. I believe we’re moving in the right direction…and I believe that ever so faintly, I can make out the light at the end of the tunnel.
Sending you love,