So, I’m driving into work and I’ve got the radio on. I’m scowling and punching my radio buttons and I’m annoyed because I can’t find any public radio stations that don’t tawk, squawk and yell. Just so you know, I do not appreciate being yelled at first thing in the morning….if you do it, you’re dead to me. (Spits dramatically on the ground and makes exaggeratedly-wild arm gestures.)
Gee. I can’t believe Word let me sneak through with a word like “exaggeratedly”. I’m relatively certain it’s not a real word, Word...
So, I’m noticing how interesting it is that they say there’s a risk of flurries, when they never say there’s a risk of rain. I guess this falls under the header of there being a wind chill in the winter, when it’s considered a breeze in the summer.
You do find this interesting, right?? I knew you would.
Anyway, the news comes on and evidently a massive amount of crows just inexplicably fell out of the sky in Arkansas. No-one could understand why, so it was being investigated by scientists…who came up with three distinct possibilities that might explain this flock of madness:
- They were all simultaneously hit by lightning at exactly the same moment.
- There was an upper air disturbance and they were all simultaneously hit in the head by very large hail at exactly the same moment. (I am not making this up.)
- (This one’s my favorite…and almost caused me to run off the road) They died from stress due to the New Year’s fireworks in the area.
Okaaay. Now, I’m no rocket scientist…but…really?? Bird-stress from the fireworks? Is that the best you could come up with? Do you mind if I give it a try? I’ve got some theories of my own:
- The crows made a bet to see who could go the longest without flapping their wings.
- The flock mistakenly thought the ground was an open window. (Ya know…like in those Windex commercials? Work with me, people.)
- The crows, led my Cam, AKA Cammie-the-Coercing-Crow were brainwashed into thinking that it was only a myth that birds can’t eat rice, after Cam took them all out for sushi. It was a mass sushie-cide.
Okay….that made me wince and I’m the one who typed it. Hey, it’s a gift. I’m going to leave you now to ponder the obvious: How is it that Kathryn is not a scientist??
Some things, it seems….are meant to forever remain a mystery.