Thursday, December 9, 2010

From Crap to Snap

The day was Wednesday. I’d had a full, challenging day. I’d haphazardly scooped up a sock on the floor a few days prior and felt a sharp *TWINGE* in my back. I thought, “Oh, no. NoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoNoThisIsNotHappening, NoSireeBob. I’m not going to be one of those people…the ones who say they have a bad back and can’t do stuff. Nope…it ain’t freakin’ way.” So, I’m living on Advil and Thera-Flu heating packs…or whatever the hell those portable heating things are called. Don’t make me get up to look. It’s definitely not that sciatica-thang again. This is more of the *SPASM* variety…like when I tried to lift that 30-pound potted plant (last year...I don't remember exactly when) over my dining room table…without holding it close to my body, as everyone knows you’re supposed to do. I also doubt I’d done the prerequisite bend at the knees as I lifted, so I should have seen it coming.

This, however, came out of left field. You should see me when I sneeze:



Wednesday was made even crappier by a meeting that was happening after work…and a good 90 minutes from my office. All I wanted to do was to GO HOME. I was 20 minutes late getting there but it was all over by around 7:30. Nigel (nav) had to direct me home…I’d no clue where I was. If the satellite had gone down, I’d still be out there. At one point, Nigel took me up a freakin’ one-lane road that went straight up a mountain…and I watched in horror as the road became narrower and bumpier...the temperature plummeted from 24 degrees to 19...and the ground on either side of the trail road was covered with several inches of snow. I do believe I said something to Nigel about throwing him face-down in the driveway and “stomping on him until he RUED the day he came off that assembly line…RUED, I say!” but then I begged and pleaded for him to just get me the hell HOME…"I just wanna go home, Nigel..."

Several miles later, Nigel had me turn left onto an impossibly-even-smaller trail road and I was really starting to freak out. I round a bend and I see this:

…and I say, “ooooohhhhh….” to no-one in particular.

And I go a bit further and I see this:

…and I say, “ahhhhh…” and then I come to this:

…and I realize that I have to remind myself to breathe. These photos don’t do it justice, of course. I was in the middle of…something…and I’d no idea where the hell I was.

Off in the distance (but still on the same parcel of land) I see this:

…(see my digital readout on my dash? That’s a nice touch, I think.) Of course, I had to document this wondrous place for all of you, ‘cause…ya know, you’re my buds and all. It was so peaceful...and quiet...and amazing:

I do believe that white light running up that tree on the right is actually sideways-code. I believe it says, “HTMl nViRiL”…which I’m sure is encryption for something mystical. I further maintain that there’s words running down that middle candy cane, which may or may not say, “Donate green to Kathryn immediately via the Paypal link on her sidebar…” but I could be mistaken. I don't think so, though.

As I drove away from this magical place, I snapped this parting shot:

And that’s when I realized that maybe this day wasn’t so crappy after all. The best part was that it turned out I was less than two miles from our home. We've only been here since June. Evidently, I’d never traveled down this particular road. It turns out that it’s some kind of park. Go figure.

I was home in less than five minutes and promptly called Connor from the car. When he answered the phone, I barked, “Come outside…NOW.” He walked out in a t-shirt and bare feet (he’s his mother’s son) and I lowered my window and said, “Get in”. He complied…but not without rolling his eyes and mumbling, “Is this gonna take long?” (To his credit, that’s all he said.)

He admitted later that it was so worth it. I’ll leave you with my artistic shot (also known as the “What-the-hell-was-I-thinking?” shot.) I know you’ll appreciate it anyway.

I’m off to bed, for tomorrow’s slated to be another long day. To those of you (Jerry? Nance? Spot?) I'm thinking about you and I will visit over the weekend. I always love reading you guys. Forgive my absence.

But I’ve just realized that for a little while…I’d forgotten all about my achy-breaky back.

Lauren said...

I was going to ask if Nigel had taken you through some secret portal that leads to the North Pole... but apparently not. I'm glad you at least had that little bit of happy in your day. Sorry to hear about your back.

The Expatresse said...

We have Sean-the-GPS. Last night he took me up narrow, icy, cobblestone alleys. Sometimes he sends me on goat paths, too.

Geeta said...

I bet Nigel knew what he was doing all along. He just though "she really needs a sprinkling of holiday, magical cheer right about now..." and voila! Not bad at all.

Vince said...

Beautiful. I love the peace symbol at the end of those stars.

You drive an automatic, hmmmm, not judging but I thought you were a stick woman. ;)

Alan W. Davidson said...

That looks like a very nice side trip, Kathryn. THough at first I thought you were going to say that Nigel had delivered you to the North Pole (then again, how WOULD you have gotten across the border without getting a hard time from customs). Hope the back stays managable.

Gigi said...

Sounds like Nigel just *knew* you needed a bit of Christmas cheer!

As for the back - I hope it's better - but if not, I'd recommend a Cloudy (or two).

Cathy Olliffe-Webster said...

Sorry about your back, Kathryn. You definitely need a trip to either the chiropractor or the masseuse.. maybe both. As for the lights, WOW! Spectacular! I can imagine what glorious peace and wonder you felt. Magic, for sure. (How come our GPS never finds cool stuff like that???)

Dorn said...

First time I've ever heard of a Nav making someone's day better! Mine would rather dump me into a bayou and let me view the lightening bugs.

sage said...

Beautiful lights. I hope your back is better

Lynn said...

OK. First of all, if this posts, I will do my happy dance! Second of all, this sounds like a magical place, made even more so because of the previous frustration and worry. Hope your back is feeling better. No fun at all, especially since it'll make it hard for you to wrap my Christmas present! Mwahah! JK. Have a great day!

j.m. neeb said...

I totally see the "HTML nViral." At this time -- and this is the only time, mind you -- I wish I was a computer geek (instead of a writer geek) and I could make sense of that obviously important coding.

It probably reveals the secret to acquiring vast amounts of wealth. (Because peeps like Billy Gates and Warren Buffett are totally known to put that up in their Christmas lights.)

That was a nifty little trip that Nigel took you on. God bless his British, electronic little heart.

p.s. I hope your back gets better soon!! :)

diane rene said...

oooh! Nigel done good :)

Alicia said...

First your back. Try a long hot soak in a tub with lavendar scented epson salts. It works good on Sciatica so it would probably help a bad back which you
don't have.

And the photos are lovely. I think it was just Nigel wanting you to stop and smell the roses, or at least photograph the lights.

I'm glad you included Connor in the joy!

Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

Wow... Super scary little bumpy roads, but looks like it paid off in the end! I love finding little hidden things that I didn't know about :-)

Anonymous said...

i immediately thought you were going to the north pole and elves were gunna attack your car xD

Full-On-Forward said...

Wow-- what a Ride!!! Nigel is awesome. Now that's a SMART CAR!!!

All it takes for a back to go is a wrong position--Like on a Trapeze or in a Basket.....SORRY! and a sneeze!

They can be sooo aggravating!

Heat alternating with cold.... Heat Brings the Blood back for healing...Cold is just to make you hurt! LOL, seriously--actually, roll a Frozen OJ Can, or something similar over the area for twenty minuets, which will help with the inflammation...then heat for twenty minutes about an hour later to return the blood.....this works quickly!!!

And STRETCH gently every chance you get!


Unknown said...

Well, sweetie, those lights are certainly magical. Glad Nigel took you home that way. I do hope you apologized to him for talking to him that way. :)

I hope your back feels better VERY soon! I seem to recall it wasn't that long ago you were dealing with a bad back.

And that last picture is sort of Bokeh. That's the photography term for the blur of the lights (you can google it if you'd like). :) People actually TRY to get that effect (like when I was playing around with my camera this afternoon taking photos of my Christmas tree). So instead of a "what-the-hell-was-I-thinking" shot, it should be more of a "I meant to do that" shot. That's what I always say when I get a cool photo that wasn't exactly planned. :)

Christopher said...

I threw my back out for the first time this summer. It runs in the family so I knew it'd come eventually. That is hell! And of course I was in trouble with the girlfriend at the time and we were supposed to go out that night so I could do some serious ass kissing. That so didn't work out well. Get better soon!

Jerry said...

Nigel is the Spirit of Christmas guiding you to heretofore wonders unknown. Keep listening to him.

Oh, I understand the back thing. Four weeks ago -- oh, I don't even want to talk about it.

Mark Price said...

Hope your back is feeling better soon. I liked the photos of the lights. It really can be nice to find an as yet undiscovered gem in ones own back yard. Have a lovely day!

Runnergirl said...

I love Christmas lights! There was a village where I used to live that used to all decorate in white lights and then people would come from miles around to see and donate to charity. It was so festive. We keep meaning to do something with our house, but have yet to get around to it!! Maybe next year!

Climb2Nowhere said...

The lights look great! Your house looks amazing! I hope your back feels better soon. Drink some extra Bailey's to help that back! xo

Jen said...

I like the "what the hell were you thinking" shot the best. Very artistic. I'm glad you made it home alive. Thanks for sharing the photos. I love all the lights.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I wonder if Nigel thought you needed a destress? A little creepy, but it looks as if it was worth it!

HulaBuns said...

Wow, that last shot is awesome! So glad you made it home safely! I do see the candy cane's message also, so you are def not mistaken. I hope your back is feeling better.

Anonymous said...

Thera Flu heat packs.....LMAO!!! I think you meant Thermacare! Anyway, I hope your back is feeling better. Thanks for the laugh!

Stephanie in Suburbia said...

I hear ya on the back! I had Wee 'Burb home with me for a week. She weighs 22 lbs. And doesn't walk yet. I finally broke down and went to a chiro, which is no longer covered by my insurance, but then again neither is back surgery, which is where I felt sure I was headed when my spine fused together. Anyway, all this is to say awesome lights and I hope your back gets better!

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