Thursday, December 23, 2010

'Cause It's Christmas

I don’t know about you…but life seems to be perpetually stuck in fast-forward mode and I can’t seem to work the “stop” button. I do believe my life-remote is broken…I’d like a replacement as soon as possible, please.

So, I’m hearing nothing but Christmas songs on the radio. I’ll admit- I’m getting to the point where I’m almost over it, already. This morning, I was punching the search key on my radio dial…just trying to find something…anything else. I’ve yet to wrap a single gift and honestly…right now? I don’t give a damn. It’ll all get done…it always does.

Thanks to a vigilant co-worker, this week evolved into the discovery and subsequent purchase of several cans of Whipped Lightning:

Whipped Lightning
Yup. Guess what my sisters and my dad are getting for Christmas? And, do I really need to wrap these? My fam will basically want to assume the “rip-cap-off-with-teeth-and-depress-trigger-into-mouth” method of consumption anyway, so it seems like a waste of some perfectly good bows. I even bought some pudding cups and Oreos at the market…I figure between that and hot cocoa, I should be golden. Possibly hammered…but definitely golden.

Do not judge me. I’m entitled to this…’cause it’s Christmas.

In other news, it seems I should seriously consider buying stock in BestBuy, ‘cause as far as I can see, they are the only electronic game in town. After making several online purchases with them, I realize that I’ll need to hit the actual store after the holiday so I can get everything I didn’t even realize we needed. Taylor (18) who’s home from college till mid-January (God help my food budget) walked into my office last night:

Taylor: “MomINeedANewMembershipCardForMyX-Box360BeforeIGoBackToSchool.”

Me: “I’m sorry….what?”

Taylor: “It’s the membership that allows me to re-enterfigulate the simbiance of the finktatude in the MegaMaster fortitude.”

Okay, so he may have not said this exactly…but whatever he said, I didn’t get it.

Me: “Uh. Can’t we order it online?”

Taylor: “No. It’s only in the stores.”

Me: (Incredulous) “Seriously? Not online? How can this be?? Well, I still have to renew our anti-virus software and I don’t want to buy it online ‘cause then it’s only good for one computer and Connor'll need it too…”

(Taylor’s halfway out the door at this point)

Me: “Hey. If you want me to take you to get this crap, you can at least stay and listen to me- -"

Taylor: “—Rant?”


I told him he’d better be respectful…’cause it’s Christmas.

I’ve also informed da boys that they must be kind to each other and must love me unconditionally and shower me with gentleness and gratitude…all in the name of Christmas.

Hey, I figure with all the work involved in making this holiday happen, I may as well milk it for all it’s worth. That’s what the holidays are for, right?

And on that note: My wish for each and every one of you reading this (those who are not reading this are on their own) would be for you to have every one of your dreams come true. You are the awesomest people…(yeah, I know…not a word…but it’s Christmas…)…and you deserve every last drop of happiness.

Now I shall wave my magic-dollar-store-wand-that-makes-fairy-music-when-you-shake-it and I shall make it so.


Kelly@MentalGarbage said...

I hope that all of your dreams come true too :-) Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!! I hope it's a good one :-)

diane rene said...

you are awesome! and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas yourself - dreams, wishes, happiness and yeah. all that stuff ;)

sage said...

I gotta find some of that whipped cream! I too am ready for Christmas to get over so I can get on with my vacation and time off and kicking back and not doing any more than I have too... until then, I trug on, dreaming of decent hot cocoa, or maybe I'll make some of my own hot butter rums.

Unknown said...

Merry Christmas to you and yours also, Kathryn! Hope it is a great one!

Mark Price said...

Yay I never get to be this high on the list. Happy Holidays to you as well Athryn! I was thinking of wrapping up a "K" for your desk but all they had were vowels. (only Yathryn made any sense and because "Y" is only a part time vowel I almost went for it) I saw that Whipped cream stuff at my local liquor store but didnt try it. The guy who works there says its pretty good. Have a great day!

Miss Sara said...

I soooo can relate, but I feel like I’m on fast forward most times, not just Christmas. AUGH!

Whipped Lightening? Sounds fantastic.

& everything should be sold online. It just makes sense. ;)

Have a fabulous Holiday!

Gigi said...

Does that Whipped Lightening come in a fat-free version??

Merry Christmas, Kathryn, to you and yours.

Lauren said...

YAY! Happiness for Christmas! I shall happily take that. I fully support online shopping. That's the way I did most of my gift hunting. We don't have a BestBuy here... so I'll take your word for it. By here I mean in my town. Just to be clear.

Merry Christmas!

Carol said...

Merry Christmas my friend!

Ms. Lizzie Bizzie said...

Merry Christmas and have a Happy New Year! I shall pray for your food budget hehe. My younger brother eats like a football player sometimes...and he doesn't even play!

Yes, I am ready for the Christmas season to end. I do agree, the music is getting to me. I don't normally station surf, but I've been doing it a lot lately.

Again, Merry Christmas! <3

.end transmission. said...

Miss K, I hope you get what you deserve this Xmas.... Peace, love and compassion from your youngsters. And a gift card for Best Buy, so you can get your OWN subscription to World of Warcraft, so you can kick your kids' ass on the down low.

Thanks for the inspiration. You challenge me to be a good writer. I hope to be as good as you someday.

I'm raising my champagne glass to you....

Lily Johnson said...

Merry Christmas Kat!! May all your wishes come true. I am yet to buy presnts myself. Today, i will just try to do something.
Take care

Vince said...

Is that whipped cream more of a Feb 14th present. Just sayin.

And wishing you and all yours a happy Christmas & new year.

David Macaulay said...

OMG - this stuff sounds wild. I'm wondering where I can get some as wine just isn't going to do the trick this year.

Betsy said...

I don't understand all the electronic do-dads and all their accessories either, that's for the younger generation to decipher! Have a great holiday weekend!

Unknown said...

Hope you had a wonderful, blitzed... er, I mean blessed... holiday ;-)

Full-On-Forward said...

Trigger and dispense directly into mouth! LMAO!

We had authentic Moonshine--and it burned going down--and coming out! Strawberries, Grapes, Peaches and Clear. DO NOT EAT THE FRUIT! It's worse than PJ!! Hunch Punch??

Ummm..anything you DIS-still ar ar in a car Radiator has to be good right!!

Great post as always- Love and Happiness to everyone in your family, from ours!

Merry Christmas--and If I hear another CHRISTMAS song--I'll chug the rest of the Mason-Dixon jar of Shine.
I have a certain urge to drive a beat up car really fast--looking for revenuers in my mirror! Hey--It invented a multi Billion dollar Sport!! NASCAR!!


Moonrayvenne said...

Merry Christmas! Yes, I'm finally back after 8 months. Missed you so much!
Gotta love the kids! Sarah will be graduating in June so I know what I;m in!
If you get a chance, please check out my new post.
Talk to you soon, my dear friend! (((HUGS)))

Alan W. Davidson said...

Thanks for recongizing our awesomeness, Kathryn. We like you too! Umm, how did the showering of gentleness and gratitude from your boys work out for you? Sorry, didn'te hear that!...

Jerry said...

I do hope that you had the merriest Christmas ever and you have my warmest wishes for the new year.

Jen said...

Hope you had a very merry holiday. I'm a little concerned about this consumption of alcoholic whipped cream. Sounds like one hot chocolate and I'd be done. Still, I think I will have to try it. Talk to you soon.

Vince said...

stay safe in that white stuff.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I'm late, but merry Christmas. I MUST get my hands on that whipped lightning. It'll definitely make New Years Eve that much more fun. :D

JP said...

Thinking of all the... interesting... things I can do with that whipped topping...


kathryn said...

Kelly@MentalGarbage: Thank you, sweetie! It WILL be a good one....we shall MAKE it so!

diane rene: All that really good stuff! Right back at'cha, sweets. Let the good times roll!

sage: Yummy. Although, every time I hear about hot buttered rum, I remember that Will & Grace episode where they visit Radio City and keep tasting and gagging on it. Order the whipped lightning online! Just beware: this stuff has a kick.

kathryn said...

Kimberly: Thanks, sweetie. I hope your family had a lovely holiday. Sorry I've been MIA of late...I'm so happy to be getting my blog-mojo back, though. I've missed all of you!

Mark Price: Oh, you are too funny. And I'm a little freaked by your quest for a K, as Ric (bossman) actually brought me a giant K for Christmas! And, of course, it sits upon my desk. I'll have to grab a photo on Monday...I've grown accustomed to it very quickly. I can't believe you have Whipped Lightning right in your backyard. You lucky dawg! Have a great holiday yourself, mister Mark man...

Miss Sara: Then you and I are simpatico. 'Cause this fast-forward thing is getting seriously out of control! The Whipped Lightning rocks...and I don't believe we should have to enter a store unless we want to. I even bought clothes this year from Zappos & boots from DSW online. Happy Holidays to you, too!

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