Sunday, November 21, 2010

Woot


Knock, KNOCK, KNOCK!

Kathryn: “Yes? May I help you?”

Interviewer: “Hel-lo? Yes…I’m here to do the interview? This email says to be here at 5 to ‘get the down-and-dirty from someone extremely influential…and…popular’?? I’m sorry. This must be the wrong address…”

Kathryn: “Um. No…that would be me.”

Interviewer: “Huh?”

Kathryn: “What?”

Interviewer: “Seriously? You?? Who are you?”

Kathryn: (Sighs) “Well… God. Just ‘cause I’m not visually familiar doesn’t mean you shouldn’t know who I am. I mean, really. WTF?”

Interviewer: “Wait. Now you're sounding familiar. Well, I may as well come in...since you've paid for two hours. (Holds up a cashier’s check) This is your signature. Right??”

Kathryn: “So unprofessional, dude.”

Interviewer: “I’ll take that as a ‘yes’. I’ll take a gin and tonic, please. Rocks.”

Kathryn: (Frowns) “I didn’t offer. Are you supposed to be drinking whilst interviewing?”

Interviewer: “I don’t see that it matters. It’s not like you’re anybody famous.”

Kathryn: (Mimes pulling a knife out of her back as she walks towards the kitchen) “Um. It’s not usually considered good practice to mock the person who is preparing something for you to consume. I’m betting a lot of people must spit in your food.”

Interviewer: (Follows) “I think I’ll just oversee the preparation of that drink. Shall I start by asking the questions you've forwarded to me?”

Kathryn: “Questions?? (Pours an inordinate amount of gin into a water glass) I’ve no idea what you’re talking about. But since you’ve got that digital taping device rolling, you may as well ask me something.”

Interviewer: “Um. Easy there, missy. That’s a mighty large amount of g---“

Kathryn: (Knocks back half the drink) “Here you go. I’m out of tonic…and I’m outta lime. First question?”

Interviewer: (Unfolds piece of paper and squints in the dim light of the refrigerator) “’How-does-it-feel-being-such-a-celebrity. I-can’t-believe-I’m-so-lucky-to-be-in-your…presence?…’ I can’t read this crap. It’s ludicrous. I wouldn’t say this to anyone.”

Kathryn: (Sniffs) “FINE. What do you want to ask me?”

Interviewer: “Uh. Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving?”

Kathryn: (Rolls eyes)“Of course. What a lame question.”

Interviewer: “Okay. What, in your opinion, has changed the most about blogging over the last six months?”

Kathryn: “Actually, that’s not a terrible question. I believe that blogging was originally considered a ‘mommy-kinda-thang’…not to be taken seriously and was only used in the context of an online diary. Now I’ve noticed that major corporations have jumped on the blogging-bandwagon, realizing that it’s a great under-utilized resource to promote positive interaction and to foster a wonderfully creative outlet for readers and writers to connect with each other. Blogging is starting to see some respect.”

Interviewer: “Huh?”

Kathryn: “What?”

Interviewer: “I’m sorry. I just noticed the red light wasn’t on. I think I need to pee. Hold that thought.”

Kathryn: “Story of my life. This is what I get for hiring someone off the computer. Stupid freakin’ internet…”

snoble24 said...

thats so funny

Alicia said...

Hmmm, very thought provoking; your question about about blogging. But I totally agree that it's an under-utilized resource. I think that interviewer should be shot...not knowing who the great Kathryn of Kathrynville is!!!

Yep, you can't hire anyone off the internet...so should we be trusting internet dating sites? Hmmm, another thought provoking question!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Interesting...I admit, I'm still trying to figure out what the point was. Perhaps the evolution of blogging? The fact that you should be recognized and revered all around?

But I have the feeling it was something to do with gin...

Mark Price said...

What a rude interviewer. No gin for him. Blogging hmmm never gave it much thought. ok thats a lie. my friggin eyes are terrible tonight. Odd. Ok see ya later!

Kimberly said...

You should NEVER trust someone you met over the internet. Oh, wait! That would mean me, too. Okay, never mind.

Thanks for the chuckle!

Geeta said...

ahhh I love the humor haha

Lauren said...

Oh Kathryn... really. You're friends with Oprah and Ellen and you hire some crap interviewer? What happened? Did they both crap out on you?

Missed Periods said...

I appreciate that you've got your priorities straight: no tonic, no lime, but plenty of gin.

Gigi said...

What do you mean he didn't know who you are????? They must have sent a newbie in - because everyone on the Internet knows who you are!

j.m. neeb said...

"The Internet? Is that thing still around?" Homer Jay Simpson

HulaBuns said...

You know, this gives me an idea. I love this post, btw, as usual it gave me a much needed laugh - so thanks for that! Any who, my idea; bloggers could interview each other, I think a lot of fun (and funny posts) could come of it. They could be in writing and kind of like a joint post between 2 bloggers...just a thought. The idea probably already exists, but I'm going to go on believing I'm a genius for the rest of the day. ;)

I agree with you about blogging starting to get some respect!

PS You totally should've drank the whole thing (even tho I believe gin smells like trees). ;)

John McElveen said...

Love you Missed you---sorry I've been hiding!
Muah- Muah--air kiss on each cheek! Barf--gimme a dang hug Girl!

That's better!
Hope you have a Blessed, Merry....whatevea!!!!

LOL--Have a great Thanksgiving Kathryn. I would but my Step Monster Died and we always went to her house for Thanksgiving. She made a KILLER dressing. Yeah-tacky but Funny!!!

Have a great one K!!!!

John Boy

kathryn said...

snoble24: Thank you, sweetie. I'm glad to see you. How have you been?

Alicia: Ha. Oh, God. I actually know some people who've done well on the internet dating sites...but as a general rule, I don't think they're very reliable. I mean, the whole thing about the internet is that you can be anyone you want to be. So, how many people do you think are being honest about who they are??

Oddyoddyo13: Yeah, well...I'm still trying to figure out my point as well. We may have to chalk that one up to a severe case of writer's block. Or maybe a lack of anything relevant to say. I'll let you pick.

kathryn said...

Mark Price: Okay. My post made very little sense...but your comment makes even less. WTF? Have you been drinking??

Kimberly: Oh, I totally trust you, sweetie! You know that all of us here are the exception to the rule...being totally wonderful and honest and forthright. Gee, we sound like scout-geeks!

Geeta: Aw. Thanks. I got more than a little random with this post...sorry about that. Sometimes, we all have the weird ones, right?

kathryn said...

Lauren: I know. My interviewer-"friends" blow! They left me with a NEWBIE. But that's okay, 'cause I had nothing important to say anyway...

Missed Periods: HA! You and I are on the same page, I see. Now if I'd only had a better sense of what I was trying to say. Oh, well. We'll chalk it up to creative license.

Gigi: Yeah, riiiight. It's called, "WTH am I gonna write about? And WHY is that blasted cursor mocking me?? *BLINK* *BLINK* *BLINK*" Grrr.

kathryn said...

j.m. neeb: (Rolls eyes) You don't watch the Simpsons, do you? I mean, you're a grown-up...and it's a cartoon. You're telling me you not only watch the cartoon but you're a fan of its "star"?? Such. A. Guy.

HulaBuns: HA! "Gin smells like trees." And this is a bad thing? I'm thinking that you're thinking that this is a bad thing, which is okay, 'cause...ya know, to each his own. Of course you're freakin' brillant. You totally know this. The only flaw I see in the plan is that a lot of ppl don't know how to comment on an interview. Not you guys, of course...but...ya know, others. ("OUTSIDERS"....she said ominously...)

Jenny said...

So then there's no knock-knock joke in here? I feel misled....

Dreamfarm Girl said...

Blogging is here to stay. It's like a writer's circle, only much much bigger. I just wish it had another name.

Christopher said...

I just know that blogging makes me happy and seems to make a lot of others happy too. Even can learn a thing or two and be inspired as well.

BlackLOG said...

What do you mean that blogging is starting to gain respect...It might be time to jump ship, not sure I can cope with trendy....

Climb2Nowhere said...

I'm glad you think blogging is getting respect! I tell people I have a blog and they go "HUH?" Until they read it...LOL.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Jen said...

This happens to me all the time. Well, no, actually it doesn't but I thought I'd make you feel better. Blogging has become kind of cool. Sadly, there are just too many people doing it and too difficult to get the exposure you want. At least, that's what I keep telling myself.
Have a lovely Thanksgiving!

Spot said...

Just the other day my mom said to me (again), "I just don't get the whole blogging thing. Why would you want strangers to know your business?"

Sheesh. Clueless.

Can I have some of that gin??
♥Spot

colbymarshall said...

I think the mom blogs have their place, but I, too, am glad blogging has started to extend much further beyond that.

sage said...

If you spelled your name with a C, you could then be Catherine the Great! I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving

Kristy said...

After he's done at your house, send him my way. I love to spend time talking about myself. :)

Mike Vaz said...

Fantastic.

Jerry said...

Me too. Me too. How can I get an interview?

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