Do you believe in the law of attraction?
No, no, no. I did not just ask if you believe that there should be laws for attractive people. Although, that’s not a bad idea. I mean…I know that beauty is subjective, blah…blah, but since we’re all such an incredibly good-looking group here at Inside…Out, maybe we’d be entitled to a tax break for being the whole attractive package...ya know, both Inside and Out?? Yeah, I crack myself up.
(Readers roll eyes.)
You guys really need to stop doing that, you know. Your eyes might just stay that way and then you’ll have to read everything all random-like, ‘cause your eyes will be rolling all willy-nilly. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. (I may not be a doctor…but I’m a mom and we know...stuff.)
What were we talking about? Wait…rolling eyes...my External & Internal Attractiveness Incentive Tax Bill Proposition #7J198234077BOOM-YOWSA…
**BAM!** See? I knew it would hit me.
Do you believe that if you project a positive vibe that it will come back to you? That if you’re a Negative Nellie that unhappiness will follow you wherever you go? Do you believe that a positive attitude toward life will not only make you generally happier…but will somehow send more of the same your way??
And remember: You’re under oath. Here in Kathrynville, you must tell the truth. Aw, hell…who am I kidding? You can lie your little tushie off…how would anyone know?? But you’ll know…and it’ll probably come across in that guilty font I’ve installed. It’s like a lie-detector test, only with typing keys picking up your true, untruthful emotions. I’ll finish working on it right after I finish developing my sarcastic font, which is still in production.
MY POINT (‘cause I do have one) is that it’s a concept that I believe requires some serious consideration. Many people believe that negative thoughts bring about negative experiences.This can cause one great distress and we all know how difficult it can be to banish a negative thought once it’s taken hold:
Negative Thought: “GOD. I woke up late and now there’s traffic…I’m gonna be late for that meeting. It’s gonna be a crappy day.”
Immediate Panic Thought: “NO, NO, NO! DON’T THINK THAT! IT’LL GO OUT THERE AND DO THE HORIZONTAL HUSTLE AND MULTIPLY AND COME BACK HERE TENFOLD TO BITE ME!”
Replacement Positive Thought: “I woke up late and probably dreamt about Clooney and I just don’t remember. Sure, I’m in traffic…but that’s ‘cause if I wasn’t, I’d be hit by that falling tree on I-87 that’s coming down right about….now. God, my hair looks good…it’s gonna be a grrrrrreat day!”
Okay. So, maybe this was a lame example. But, just to play it safe, I’m going to put a copy of my friend Benny on my wall for inspiration:
Thoughts?? Remember…you’re under oath.
Happy Friday, all!