Dear Mother Nature,
I am writing this letter on behalf of human beings everywhere.
Okay, so maybe I'm actually writing it on behalf of soggy New Yorkers everywhere.
And, when are you gonna get email? I mean, I had to schlep to the Post Office for a stamp and everything. So, since I was there, I opted for return receipt. I figured if I'm going to the trouble to write you via snail mail, then you can be inconvenienced enough to sign for it, dammit.
But, I digress.
I hesitate to criticize...being a generally
But, I digress. Again.
I realize we've just come off a stellar autumn weekend...but you need to understand: Last Wednesday, it rained. On Thursday, it rained. On Friday? You betcha. Rain.
Yes, we got Saturday and Sunday off. Woohoo? (Tries to feign excitement...attempts to pump fist in the air...it comes out more like a half-hearted, limp wave) But then Monday? Rain. Tuesday....well, you see where I'm going with all this.
I realize that as a general rule of thumb, we need water. But are you aware that we're in the dying season? The trees are done. The leaves? Dying. No. Water. Required.
If I have to drive in the rain for one more day, I'm gonna lose my freakin' mind....no disrespect intended. I just think that you may have forgotten to shut off the water over here. Do you mind? Enough, already.
Thanks for the flowers and rainbows and stuff.
And I really don't think it's fair that we have to stand outside in the pouring rain to enjoy the fall foliage, so I'd appreciate your putting it on hold...or pause....or whatever it is you do to make time stand still...you know, like you did the last time I went to the DMV.
Okay. I'll stop.
Your friend (when it's sunny and 70 degrees with no bugs or humidity),
PS: I don't know if you had anything to do with this, but was having the sprayer-thing on my kitchen faucet stick and thereby spraying water all over myself, the floor and the pots I'd just washed and dried really necessary? Haven't I suffered enough with the water, already?? If this wasn't you, feel free to disregard. I'm thinking you will anyway...