So, you know how difficult it can be to remember people’s names when you’re first introduced?
Lately, I’ve been introduced to a lot of new people and I’ve been doing my best to try and remember.
New Person: “Hi. I’m Melanie.”
Inside Kathrynville: “Wow. I love her top. I wonder where she got that top. Would it be rude of me to ask? I used to have a top like that…but it was more of a reddish-brown color. What’s that color called? Coral?? No, that’s not it. Cranberry? Whatever happened to that top? Is it in the laundry? When was the last time I did laundry? Was it even this week? Oh, crap…she’s still talking…..”
New Person: “Hi. I’m Claudia.”
Inside Kathrynville: “ClaudiaClaudiaClaudiaClaudiaClaudia. Huh….I don’t think I’ve ever had a Claudia in my life before. KL-AWD-EE-YA. Like Claude….but with an EE-YA on the end. Claude…remember in Friends when Phoebe was trying to teach Joey French? She’d say,”Mon nom est Claude’ and he’d repeat back, ‘Blah-blah-buh-blah Claude’. HA! That was a good one. Oh, crap…she’s still talking….”
Repeating Name Out Loud
New Person: “Hi. I’m Amanda.”
Inside Kathrynville: “Hi. Are those donuts for everybody?”
Threat of Annihilation
New Person: “Hi. I’m John….”
Inside Kathrynville: “Oh, finally! An easy one. ‘John’…like Susan’s husband. JohnJohnJohnJohn. I can do this! Easy peasy…now, don’t forget. Remembering this guy’s name is the single most important thing you have to do today. Pretend that the entire nation is at a standstill…holding its collective breath…unable to continue with their day until it’s been determined that you can remember this guy’s name. It’s more important than…”
New Person: “…and this is my partner Marie and her assistants, Brandon and Courtney.”
Inside Kathrynville: “Aw. Shoot me now. Did he just say ‘Marie’ or ‘Maria’? Did he say ‘Brendan’ or ‘Brandon’? ‘Courtney’ is like ‘Courtney Cox’ from Friends. Of course, she’d probably prefer to be related to Cougar Town now. I wonder when Matthew Perry’s new show is coming out. I’ll bet he’s sick of people calling him ‘Chandler’. Could this be any more confusing? HA! Typical Chandler…”
Nowhere is this transgression more apparent than in my notes regarding the last meeting:
“Girl with top that I like suggested that guy who may or may not be ‘Brendon’ transfer his data over to the computer of the girl who was standing in front of the box of Dunkin Donuts. Note to self: Google how to remove powdered sugar from suede.”
Anyone have any good tips? Oh, please.