Don’t panic, people. I’m not planning a thousand word post…that would be cruel and unusual punishment…and what did you ever do to me?
Let’s start over. A picture is worth a thousand words. Better? Yeah, I thought as much. Boy, you guys are tough.
We’ll start with some sight-seeing. M’kay?
This one sort of speaks for itself….but I’ll have to disagree. Maybe First Baptist Church just needs a faster internet connection. (Yes, I was driving whilst I took this shot. Don't judge me. I did it for you.)
I love it when the obvious is explained…like how they’re open on Sundays!. Gotta love it.
“WTF,” you say? This would be yours-truly shopping for apparel for one male offspring. This is what shopping is like in today’s modern age of cells and texts. There I am…in the young men’s department…and I’m trying to balance my 15-lb bag (don’t ask) and two other items that caught my eye and manage to lay the shirt flat on the display table and then stand on my tippy-toes and get far enough away so that the whole shirt will fill the frame on my cell….and I’m already in heels, so trying to eek out more height is making me downright teeter. That’s when I hear the voice of a young guy behind me (who’s sitting on an end cap…probably waiting for his girlfriend to finish shopping) say, “Um. It might be easier to just take a photo of that mannequin next to you. You do realize it’s the same shirt??” I did not. (Smart ass.)
So, I send photo to Connor with text that says, “Conmr doyoUul liKle tissV”. I do not check it for spelling before I hit send because it already took me ten minutes to get the photo to attach to the text. Between you and I, I felt the photo was self-explanatory.
To which he replies, “God, Mom. You suck at texting. I know you can’t yell at me because it would take you forever to type it.” Then, there’s an icon of a smiley face…but it’s not smiling and it’s red and it looks like it's emoticon-head is gonna explode. But Connor doesn’t bother to answer my freakin' question. Does he think I’m just randomly taking photos of men’s shirts and sending them to various people for fun? I mean, seriously....I hardly ever do that.
So I re-send the same photo and text four or five times…(just to annoy)…and then I text, “LiKee tes oor nO”
And he sends back, “If you’re asking if I like the shirt, it’s okay. Eh. You sent that text like, 5 times. Lame.” To which I act all surprised ‘cause I don’t want him to realize that I’m fully aware. And yes, he said “Eh”. I did not purchase the shirt and he’s been informed to never text the word “eh” to me again.
Lastly (but oh…so not leastly):
Poor Mike Kaplanowitz’s wife. Did anyone run this photo by the fam after they posed for this impromptu PR shot in their hotel room during that last trip to Vegas? Does the Mrs have any idea there’s a fountain growing out of the top of her head?? And does Mike realize that it kind of looks like he’s got a horn growing out of the side of his head? I would have also photoshopped out the thermostat…it’s not really all that relevant. I’d also like to point out that the alleged “sisters” look nothing alike and are kind of forced together (no arm-around like I’m seeing towards their "parents"). Maybe they’re simply a combined family on a second marriage…or maybe Mike doesn’t really know these people at all. That would explain the fountain-lady not getting a voice in what goes to print.
Mike’s flyer claims, “Mike is working to keep families together and protect our quality of life.”
You go, Mike….but first, could you bet a twenty on Red18 for me? And then, please get your butt back to New York.