I have a question for you:
“McDonald’s sells milkshakes in two sizes. A small milkshake contains 300ml and a large milkshake contains 2/3 more. How much does a large milkshake contain? If Mr. Murrin drinks 2/3 of a small milkshake and Miss Hoyne drinks ½ of a large milkshake, who drinks the most?”
Yes, that is correct.
Say it with me now: “Are you freakin’ kidding me?”
Connor: “I think it’s a multiplication problem.”
Me: “I think it’s a gastro-intestinal problem. Who the hell drinks McDonald’s milkshakes anymore, anyway? Doesn't everybody go to Dunkin Donuts? And this ‘Miss Hoyne’ person…shouldn’t she be home, nuking a Healthy Choice dinner...instead of chowing down at Mickey-D’s?”
“A gasoline additive is used at a rate of 2 ¾ gallon for each storage tank. If 230 ½ gallons of additive are available, how many storage tanks can receive the additive?”
Me: “I’m emailing your teacher. This has to be child abuse.”
“Tara is using boards and cement blocks to make shelves for her dorm room. Each shelf uses ½ of a board and 2 cement blocks. If Tara has 7 boards and 16 cement blocks, how many shelves can she make?”
Me: “What is wrong with this Tara-person? And where are her parents? If she can afford to go to college and live in a dorm, she shouldn’t be resorting to boards and cement blocks to decorate. She’ll be the laughingstock of the entire campus! It's horrifying. It's just wrong.”
“A store sold 5/8 of its 48 rose plants at the full price of $24 and sold the rest for 2/3 of the full price. How much money did they take in for the rose plants?”
Me: (Exasperated) “Where’s the calculator? Where’s my laptop? Life is too freakin’ short! Just make something up…I don’t even like roses. Who pays full price anyway? Just buy a regular old bush and be done with it.”
“Willow bought 12 ¾ yards of fabric and used 5 ½ yards for a pair of curtains and 2 5/12 yards for a tablecloth. On a scale of one to ten, how hideous was the end result? And, did Willow really use the remaining material to make several toilet-tissue cozies for future Christmas gifts?”
Connor went to bed...I poured another glass.
Okay, so maybe I embellished that last one...just a tad. Can someone please explain to me the logic of this....item? How does this help the...overall...(*cough!*)...process? What am I missing here?
(As a sidenote to this post…I have to mention that whilst googling toilet cozies, I became temporarily
- Portable stripper pole
- Portable fork-truck
- Portable bartending bar (Ooooohhhhh…..)
- Portable toilets
- Portable radiation bunker (I’m not making this up. You think I’m making this up?)
- Portable fish bowl:
And (drumroll please)…possibly the most asked-for “portable” anything…something you simply cannot EVER be without….(wait for it…)…you’re gonna want to run right out and pick up one of these babies…..:
…..because it’s such a hassle to have to go out to be baptized, don’t-cha-know. I know you’re just dying to know the cost for one of these babies, so I went into the site. ('Cause inquiring readers just have to know...) First page explains that you can evidently “set up and take down in minutes….Baptize and store away!” It's like they're inside my freakin' head!
Anyway, you can get the “basic package” for $1999, but that (of course) does NOT include the “Bapistry Heater”, which will set you back another $459.00.