Saturday, February 6, 2010

Three Cheers for the Power of Denial

I cannot overemphasize the importance of utilizing denial in one’s life. It can mean the difference between having a super-crappy weekend or one where you make a conscious decision to be blissfully unaware of the troubles that may await you on Monday.

I mean, if you can’t do anything about it…then what’s the poi- -

*BRRRRING!!! BRRRRRRRRRING!!!*

Kathryn: “Oops. Forgot to put that on ‘mute’…sorry. I’ll just be a sec…Hel-lo?”

Dr. Phil: “Kathryn? Haven’t we discussed the ramifications of condoning denial as a means of potentially not dealing with deep-seated psychological issues in your personal life?”


Kathryn: “Oh, hey Phil….I’m kinda busy right now. Can I call you back?”

Dr. Phil: “Noooooo….no, you may not. We’ve discussed the need for you to ‘take space’ to review and consider the consequences of potentially advising others to ‘opt-out’ of reality.”

K: “What’s that music you’ve got playing in the background, Phil? Is that the soundtrack from the musical ‘Hair’? ‘Cause that sounds suspiciously like ‘Good Morning Starshine’ to me…”

DP: “What? No! No music….now, focus. And remember that any attempt at zig-zagging this issue is not going to work with me, missy.”

K: (Snickers) “Um. ‘Zig-zagging’? I’m not familiar….”

DP (Bristles) “It’s a Dr. Phil Original. It hasn’t really caught on yet in the psychiatric community. That is clearly not the point. You need to realize I am not someone who will easily fall for your distractions or- -"

*BEEP!*

K: “Hey, Phil? Hold on, will ya? I’ve got another call coming in…”

DP: “Kathryn! This is unacceptable! I will not be put on ho- -"

*CLICK*

K: “Hel-lo?”

George Clooney: “Hey, Gorgeous! Rumor has it that you’ve using some of my stuff today. I figured I should check in…you know, in case you need anything clarified.”

K: “Hey, Handsome! You mean the ‘ole pulling the Clooney? Well, I don’t know if that really falls under the heading of denial, sweetie. That’s probably more like deception…or maybe dishonesty….or maybe…ya know, fraud….”

GC: (Chuckles) “You make it sound so….cheap. Besides, it’s not fraud unless charges were filed. So, I’ve just walked out on wiping the floor with Brad on the basketball court for nothing? Frankly, I’m a little hurt.”

K: “Aw. I suppose I could mention it. And if you need to delve into your feelings in more depth, I’ve got Dr. Phil on the other line. I’m sure he’d be happy to help…he’s already miffed at me for pulling the ‘ole ‘ziggity-zaggy’…or some such thing.”

GC: “Ah. You’ve dazzled him with your fancy footwork, eh? I’m not really in a ‘delving’ kinda mood. Tell him to call me later…I’ll give him Brad’s number. He always gets a little bummed after I whoop him on the court.”

K: “M’kay…please hold.”

*CLICK*

K: (Hears someone singing “Gliddy glub gloopy nibby nabby noopy, la-la-la lo-lo”) “Phil? I’ve gotta run. George says to call him later so he can vent.”

DP: “What? George who? Bush...or Clooney?”

K: “Doesn’t matter. Buh-bye.”

*CLICK!*

GC: “I think you’ve got it from here. I’ll send the plane for you tomorrow. I’m taking you somewhere warm.”

K: (Swoons) “You mean I’ll finally be able to feel my toes? I love ya, Georgie! Later, dude…”

Anyway.

The story goes that Clooney was staying at his Aunt Rosemary’s house in his early pre-mega-stardom days and before she left on vacation, she asked her nephew to paint the fence in the back of the property. Upon returning, she remembered the fence and glanced out the window…both surprised and proud that he’d done such a stellar job. Until she walked outside a few days later and discovered he’d only painted the part of the fence that she could see from the house. (I can hear George laughing from here...)

Hence, the phrase “Pulling a Clooney”…which isn’t really anything dirty at all….despite what’s running through your minds right now....

You people are soooo immature.

And what does this have to do with denial, you ask?? Probably not much…but it did take your mind off of things for a few minutes, right?

That’s the basic idea….so, just build from that. I gotta go….my phone’s ringing….


Jenny said...

I pretty much LOVE coming over just for the escape of it all. I mean, during the reading of this post, I completely forgot my toes were numb. Even with your mention of cold toes. I'm pretty sure it was the Clooney pic. Truly, is there anything more soul warming? I think not.

Kimberly said...

My motto has always been "ignore it ... it will go away". How's that for denial?

Great pic of George! Love him!

Chrissy said...

I didn't absorb anything I read after I saw the picture of Georgie.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Loooove your celebrity pals. Hilarious! I can't believe it, but you did take my mind off of the whole "denial" topic for a second there. Nice work! You're so good at the sidetrack thing, its amazing. (That was a compliment, I adore people like that.) You're awesome Kathryn! (You? Random? Noooo.....)

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Oh Yes, Oprah's b*&%H - Dr. Phil. She's got a new one, Dr. OZ. All three are very irritating.

George, Brad and Matt on the other hand are my escape. I wonder why Brad does not call me anymore... :)

GASP - is it true? he is free from his baby mama?

Lily Johnson said...

Kat dear, thank God you are back. I so missed yo. Yep, sometimes outright denial works. Just pretend it aint there. (Don't swear Doctor Phil.)

Gavin said...

I think you need your own tv show or radio show or something, Kathryn. You're amazingly awesome. (:

Jerry said...

You mean you are going to pull Mr. Clooney south so he can feel your toes? Oh. Don't you have to have one of those adult content disclaimers somewhere? Now I'm all flustered.

Fierce said...

At this point in time, I have NO idea what I was worried about before heading over here. You would make a really great psychologist, ya know. Probably end up with your own show, dance zig-zags around Dr. Phil's until he has no more viewers. Now there's an idea: 'Dr. Kathryn's Zig-Zags'. I'm sure THAT'll catch on with the psychology community.

:)
xoxo

Tina said...

Ah, fabulous! George is taking you somewhere warm, where there's wine and fresh baked bread and cheese, maybe his house by the lake in Italy.

Ron said...

Oh, Dearest Kathryn...

I have to agree with Gavin...you're amazingly AWESOME!

Your mind moves like the speed of light.

Is that the soundtrack from the musical ‘Hair’? ‘Cause that sounds suspiciously like ‘Good Morning Starshine’ to me…

Bwhahahhhahahahahaha!!!

That KILLED me!

Never heard the term "Pulling a Clooney" but after reading the meaning, I've pulled quite a few "Ronnies" in my life!

As always, my wonderful friend...GREAT post!

So enjoyed!

Have a great rest of your evening!

xoxxooxoxoxo

P.S. I think Dr. Phil took a little too much "space" off the top of his HEAD!

Anonymous said...

Dr. Phil's problem is that he leaves with Robin at the end of the show. At least with your own show, you'd have the good sense to leave with BILL the furnace guy for the ultimate toe warming solution.

–slt

TC said...

I thought I was queen of De Nile but you take the cake, and the Clooney too.
Maybe we all need a little denial now?

Lauren said...

Oooo! Denial! Loves it! I also believe that Dr. Phil may have gotten his diploma out of a cereal box... Froot Loops perhaps? HA! ZING! Okay, but seriously... Denial is wonderful. Unless it's used against you, like the dark side of the Force. I'm denying that I'm really that weird and claiming that I'm tired. Thanks for the lesson!

dailyseeking said...

I think you are a famous author in real life! I love the picture of George--beauty at its best.

Collette said...

A wonderful post, my friend! And just when I need it, too. I'll be dealing with family later on for a Super Bowl party. Not at my house, of course. I refuse to clean up after all those slobs, er, I mean, fun people. Have a great day! (((HUGS)))

Me, Myself and Her said...

Oh, Kathryn, I agree 110% on the denial thing. The stories I create within my mind I wish I were creative enough to share here in blog world..Whatever makes you feel good, long or short term, Roll With It Baby! At least that's what the song sings. None of that Goodmorning Starshine stuff ever makes it into MY (denial)fantasies ;)

Sir Thomas AKA (Winters Reaper) said...

If you did have a TV show I would watch you very closely...


very....

Spot said...

First Clinton Kelly, now George Clooney. Geez Kathryn, are you friends with everybody?! Can you and George stop by and pick me up?? Going somewhere warm with you two sounds like fun. Does he know Johnny Depp or Gerard Butler??

♥Spot

Mmmm...denial taste delish!

uo-chan said...

haha the randomness i ten d to like when you suddenlly put something thats not on the normal ruteen i tend to miss out alot these days cus im busy oh hey check out my page i have something for you to answer and all of you i need oppinions ....

Kathryn said...

Jenny: I'm in complete and total agreement in your assessment of the photo of one said Clooney. That face melts many a frozen toe. (!?) HA!

Kimberly: I'm with you, sweetie! If you can ignore it, it's worth a shot!

Chrissy: I know, sweetie! I get all muddled each and every time I see that face. Yummy yum yum....

Oddyoddyo13: HA! Mission accomplished....I've kept you engrossed and blissfully unaware! Yay!

Kathryn said...

WannabeVirginiaW: Honestly, I don't know if I've ever watched Oprah...but Dr. Phil seemed like a good personality to chew me out for being in denial. I've no idea re: Brad's status...but I'll be sure to tell Georgie to remind him he owes you a call!

Lily Johnson: HA! Thanks, sweetie! Yes, there are simply times when NOTHING works to quell the pain...but good, old-fashioned denial!

Gavin: Aw...and you are so sweet! Thank GOD I've got someplace to let it out, huh? I know you agree.

Jerry: Well, I would certainly consider that. I mean...it IS Clooney we're talking about, after all....!

Kathryn said...

Fierce: HA! I think that's absolute genius! Who wouldn't want to watch THAT?!?

Tina: Ahhhhh! And I'm officially in heaven. A little wine, a little cheese, a little sun...a little George...who could ask for more??

Kathryn said...

RON! Thank you, sweetie! I don't know if anyone else refers to "Pulling a Clooney" besides me...I'd adapted it years back when I started stringing the lights on the Christmas tree and not bothering to do the back, which no-one could see. It seemed appropriate...and who could resist the temptation to Pull a Clooney every now and then?
xoxo!

Kathryn said...

Anonymous: Yeah....(sigh....) the furnace guy IS kinda special. I'd definitely take him over Dr. Phil...that's for sure!

TC: YES. We all need a little denial now. But you'll have to get your OWN swooney-Clooney.

lauren: I totally accept the "tired" excuse...and I won't hold it against you. Besides, I totally agree with your assessment of Dr. Phil!

dailyseeking: Yes, I totally agree. I AM a famous author...and Clooney ROCKS.

Kathryn said...

Collette: HA! Hope you've had a fabulous Super Bowl party...as a guest, of course! That's the BEST way to play it!

Me, Myself and Her: Then you and I understand each other perfectly! It's the "roll to me" world....and no hippy-dippy-trippy stuff for us!

Sir Thomas AKA (Winters Reaper): HA! Said with such trepidation, me thinks!

Kathryn said...

Spot: HA! Sure, honey....pack yer bags....we'll be right there! (Yells, "Georgie! We've gotta make one teeny-weeny stop! And do you have Johnny Depp's phone number??!")

uo-chan: Hey...we're all random at one time or another! I'm on my way.

uo-chan said...

thank you kathryn for telling me im not insane and that youve had the same experiance that makes me feel better

Bernadine said...

Hi Kathryn

I agree with Gavin. Maybe you should become a actress. You'll make a great one and I'm sure you'll have lots of fans!!!!!!

Enjoy your Monday!!!!

Alicia said...

It's always worth click on the link on my blog to get to your blog Kathryn, but it was even more worth it today just to get to see George *sigh*

Allegria said...

Maaan, Kathryn. You're cracking me up, here. And I cannot believe that you put George on hold. I would have just kept talking, let Phil wait until out of frustration he finally hung up. But I'm inconsiderate that way... And that is SUCH a great shot of GC. Like any shot would be a bad one, but you know what I mean...

And now I've got that goofy song going through my head. Thank you SO much.

Picture Imperfect said...

Ahhh Denial. Such a great friend through the hardest times in my life. LOL

If you need me you can find me at the corner of Avoidance and Denial... in RunawayTown. ;o)

Heather said...

Wow to think I know someone as popular as you. You hang out with the stars!

Nice to escape from reality every once in a while. Thanks.

Pratik Gupta said...

"Denial is the way of life" - Zen priest!! :P

Post a Comment

Fabulous Insights by Fabulous Readers