Thursday, February 4, 2010

Coulda Woulda Shoulda

Kathryn: (Sighs dramatically) “The last few days sucked.”

Connor (13): “I know, Mom. But you handled the whole debacle with dignity and panache.”

K: (Frowns) “How do you even know words like ‘debacle’ and ‘panache’? But you really think I’ve handled the last few days with poise and confidence?”

C: “Well, no…you were a mess. I was just being polite. I do believe you hold the record for the most emotions displayed over a 48-hour period.”

K: (Annoyed) “Are you saying I’m emotional? ‘Cause that’s a real ‘guy’ thing to say and could seriously cause me to misunderstand and think you’re turning into some kind of a male chauvinist pig. And that would be soooo not cool.”

C: “I didn’t say you were emotional. I simply stated you’d displayed an array of emotions. I’ve documented them, if you’re interested.”

K: “You’ve what? You’ve documented….you’ve what? Were you filming me?”

C: “In a matter of speaking…yes. I’ve kept my own pictorial-diary over the last few days…ya know, in case it comes up.”

K: (Suspicious) “Um. Can I see?”

C: “You won’t get mad?”

K: “Nooooo! Of course not! Besides, it’s all water under the bridge now…as it were.”

C: “What does that even mean? As opposed to what? Water over the bridge?”

K: (Sighs) “Just show me the pictorial account, dammit.”

C: “FINE. So, this is you waking up Tuesday morning.”

K: “What’s wrong with my hair? My hair looks nothing like that!”

C: (Rolls eyes) “This has nothing whatsoever to do with your hair. I’ve captured your emotions. Focus, Mom.”

K: (Mumbles) “Fine…but I’m not digging that cowlick in the middle...and you're starting to sound more and more like Clinton. I’m just saying. I do look happy, though. So naive…I’ve no clue what’s to come…do I??”

C: “Nope. Then you get the call about Kevin and you race to the hospital.”

K: “Aw. How do you know what emotion I displayed? You were at school.”

C: (Shrugs) “I imagined it.”

K: (Smiles) “Well done. Then what?”

C: “Then, I come home from school and discover I’ve got the house all to myself.”

K: “Connor! You were happy to be all alone?”

C: “Uh-huh….but it was short-lived…’cause then Taylor came home.”

K: “HA! Is this actually Taylor…or your reaction to seeing Taylor?”

C: “It doesn’t really matter…they’re the same.”

K: “Ah.What’s happening here?”

C: “This is your face when you shot into the garage with your car after careening up the ice-skating-rink formerly known as our driveway.”

K: “I was scared.”

C: “Yeah…I got that. And this is your face when you saw it was 53 degrees in the house.”

K “Oh, I was soooo done. Thank God for space heaters, though….and emergency furnace guys named 'Bill'.”

C: “Yup. By the time the furnace guy worked his magic and you’d cleaned up from dinner, I could see you were right on the edge.”

K: “What does that say? ‘The lip’?? What’s the edge?”

C: “You were DONE. You were this close to a complete meltdown.”

K: “I was NOT!”

C: “Oh, yes you were…”

K: (Nods wearily) “Yes, I was….”

C: “So, I told you to go to bed...and I’d take care of sending the dog out later....and give him his medicine, yada, yada. When I checked on you later, you looked like this.”

K: (Sniffs) “You’re a good son.”

C: “I know.”

K: "Sorry about the Clinton comment..."

C: "It's okay. I know you meant it in the nicest possible way."

K: “But, seriously dude….my hair? WTF??”

Jen T said...

Looks like you've been on quite the roller coaster, poor girl. I've been thinking of you and hope you feel better soon!

And seriously, your hair is fab...honestly what is he thinking???

Oddyoddyo13 said...

So many emotions!

Must say though, looks like you've got the next Michealangelo on your hands. Awesome!

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I'm glad to see you're doing better today, and that the furnace got fixed. Seriously love the pics Connor did. Look on the bright side: at least he can recognize the different emotions one woman can have. You've done something right with him!

Chrissie said...

Wow. He caught the expressions so well :)
But I hope that now your face looks like this:


I hope you like your hair. It has a bit of a crazy flick in it.

Anonymous said...

Wow...those pictures say a lot more then your son thinks. XD

Unknown said...

Wow he is a really perceptive guy! What is it about sons that seem to just know what mom is going through!

Hope Thursday was a better day!

Ron said...

OMG, Kathryn...even in the midst of all that you've been through these past few days, you still mananged to write a hysterical post!

The illustrations are brilliant! The melt actually looks like me during several of my own melt downs!


So glad to hear the furnace guy was able to work his magic, because we're (yes) getting MORE snowy-freezing weather here in the north this weekend.

Oy chee mamba!?#?!*

I hope all went well with your son.

Know that I sent ya LOTS of "good energy" and "cyber hugs" my dear friend. Hope you felt them.

Now, get yourself a nice BIG glass of wine and 20 minutes in the jacuzzi, cause you deserve them!

And btw...I think your hair looks FAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!

VERY Annie Lennox!


Anonymous said...

LMAO! This was priceless!

Mattenylou said...

Great drawings! They sure captured your moods.

I so hope tomorrow will be a smiley face day for you, hang in there!

Jenny said...

THAT is a good kid! You did good Mamacita. :)

Amber Lea Easton said...

Beautiful! Yes, I agree with the comments above. You are doing an excellent job raising a boy who understands the complexities of a woman's emotions. Be proud of yourself!

Lauren said...

Awwww... Saying awww like that just doesn't compare to a studio audience. Anyway, sounds like ya got yourself a perty good kid. And he managed to capture all of your emotions. Go multi-tasking! But seriously, I hope things are much better for you.

Bernadine said...


Strange how children tend to document everything their parents do....

Have a great Friday and a great weekend, Kath :)

Bernadine said...


Strange how children tend to document everything their parents do....

Have a great Friday and a great weekend, Kath :)

Bernadine said...


Strange how children tend to document everything their parents do....

Have a great Friday and a great weekend, Kath :)

Bernadine said...

Ok sorry there was something wrong with the commenting thingy. Sorry about 3 of the same comments!!!

Anonymous said...

Give the kid some credit, at least he tried to give you hair. I think he can draw ten times as well as me. And he knows words like 'debacle' and 'panache' AND he knows how to twist his words so it doesn't sound like he's being condescending even though he is. *deep breath* But on second thought, maybe Clinton shouldn't babysit so often (not that you're a baby or anything Connor, I meant for your mom) he seems to be affecting all around you veeerrrryy slooooowwwwwwlly

Now that I think of it, what IS up with that hair???!!


Moonrayvenne said...

Kids really are into tune with our feelings. Who'd a thunk it? I hope things are looking up for you! (((HUGS)))

Bobby Allan said...

Those pictures are great! Glad things have calmed down for you and you're nice and toasty. Talk to you soon.

Unknown said...

OK - this may sound odd, but this post makes me long for a kiddo of my own. Really - your son sounds awesome! I hope this weekend is calm & quiet for you. Enjoy a glass (or bottle) of cloudy!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Oh, Kathryn, he's right about the panache! If we don't laugh we'll cry buckets, right??
Hope all is well now; been thinking of you.

The Shitty Astrologer said...

Hahaha....the exhausting merry-go-round of emotions. Sometimes I think humans would have been better off without them...

Excellent caricatures, btw.

Unknown said...

This is really cute - did Connor really draw all of those pictures for you? It's a family blog! :oD

I hope that you're feeling better. If you need anything just drop an email!!! *hugs*

*more hugs*


(thought that might help too. lol)

BlackLOG said...

K: “But, seriously dude….my hair? WTF??”

You should know the pencil never lies...

or if it does, I'm not arguing with it, as it is often said that it's much shorter sibling the pen is mightier than the sword so who knows what additional power the Cil will have.

Tell Conner to keep up with his studies, I'm just not convinced the world of commercial art is ready for him.

Now don't go all defensive mother on me or even worse attackist, I'm just saying, so please don't draw the messenger ... count to 10 and step away from the English guy, yes removing your hands from around his throat would be much appreciated. Plus Sketches by Conner of you murdering me will be allowable in court..

Have a good and stress free weekend...

Alicia said...

That's what I love about you Kathryn, even when life kicks you down you get right back up and laugh in it's face. Right after a good cry of course.

I hope things are looking a bit more bright and hopeful for you and da boys. I heard this morning on the news that you all have a big storm headed that way :-(

I hope it bypasses you. Take care!

Momiji chan said...

hmm haha and no im not running away it was a joke a joke haha oh and heres one what did the man say after comparing bypasses with the doctor?"well i hope i by pass you some day " haha got that from a doctors offcie mag injoy

Áine said...

Those drawings are so cute ^^)

Go Conor! But I agree,what's with the hair??

Anonymous said...


your wonderful...

TC said...

Hilarious, hope your weekend is what passes for normal anyway? possibley great? You deserve it after that..

Reminds me of my grandson Zach, (remember I was a grandma @ 37)he didn't talk for like the first two years, pointed and grunted. But when he did talk??? He had been taking notes of things to incriminate us with! He's still taking notes...

Spot said...

Those drawings are too cute! Connor is an awesome son for sending you to bed and taking over. Good job mom!! At least something went right, eh?

Hope your weekend is better and you get a chance to relax.


Carol said...

At least you know beauty school isn't in his future! Isn't it funny how kids can take the worst day and make you laugh about it?

Tina said...

There you are, resilient, fun loving, strong. Proud of you!

Jerry said...

I'm glad you are back, with a furnace working and proudly displaying the psychoanalytical art of Connor.

Heather said...

I finally get to comment! Yeah!

Sorry you had a really bad day. At least you know you've got Connor to help you out and take charge and chronicle everything.

kathryn said...

lifelove'n'wine: Aw...thanks so much for thinking of me, sweetie! I appreciate it....and I suppose I cannot expect Connor to accurately capture both my emotions and my fabulous hair!

Oddyoddyo13: Yes, he's quite the artist, right? It's a little scary how he can capture my emotions so well!

Tinkerschnitzel: Yes, he's an amazing young man. I can only hope he carries this empathy over into "guy-dom". I'll have a LOT of women thanking me then!

kathryn said...

Elfie: I LOVE the way you've captured just a hint of a natural wave! Now, why couldn't Connor do that??

Gavin: HA! I think Connor knows me a little too well. He's pretty astute.

WannabeVirginiaW: Thank you, sweetie....the week definitely got better. Yeah, Connor's amazing. I'm a lucky gal!

kathryn said...

RON! HA! "VERY Annie Lennox!" Oh, that SLAYED me!

I can only assume that my emotions outweigh any awareness Connor may have for what my hair's doing.

And yes, my friend...your good energy and cyber hugs were definitely needed and majorly appreciated.

You. Are. Simply. The. Best.

kathryn said...

Christiejolu: Thanks, sweetie! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Mattenylou: Aw! What a sweet thing to say! Yes, I finally had a "smiley-face-day"...that's an awesome way to put it!

Jenny: Aw...thank you, doll! I could not agree with you more!

kathryn said...

Moxie Girl aka Amber Lea: Aw...thank you! I feel very fortunate to have a "guy" around who's not afraid of the emotional side of me. I'm lucky he "gets" me. And I am proud...proud and lucky. Thanks, sweetie!

Lauren: Honey, things are definitely better...thank you! And I totally got the "audience awwwwww" came thru loud and clear. Perfect!!

Bernadine: Thank you! Yes....sometimes I wish he'd pay LESS attention to when I'm freaking out!

kathryn said...

Bernadine: No worries, sweetie! It happens more often than you think!

Fierce: HA! Girl, you read my freakin' mind! I do believe that Clinton's having too much of an influence on those around me! I KNEW that conversation reeked of Clinton! (Grumbles)

Collette: I know, right? It's hard sometimes when I'm freaked out to not show it...but I'm trying. (Evidently, not hard enough, though!) Thanks for the sweet thoughts, honey! xo

kathryn said...

Chrissy: Thanks, sweetie! Yep...we'll touch base soon.

ValleyWriter: Oh, honey....not odd at all! Of course, you guys get the "purified topcoat" version of kid-dom. In all fairness, there IS the other side. I'm sure he says the same thing about ME.

Maureen@IslandRoar: Thanks, Maureen! I can't seem to hide my emotions well. Hopefully, he'll evolve with empathy...and not in need of therapy. I hope you're recovering well, sweetie.

kathryn said...

The Shitty Astrologer: Thank you! I shall pass along your kudos to the artist!

SMOOG: Thank you....(the margarita really did the trick...smacks lips...) Yes, Connor honestly drew those faces of me. I don't know whether to be proud or worried....

BlackLOG: I doubt very much that Connor's sketches of my "accidentally" wringing your neck would be admissible in court. He could claim still being traumatized by your remark that he can't be a professional, I'm just saying....

kathryn said...

Alicia: Thank you, sweetie! For both the kudos on my ability to (deny, let's face it!) and on blowing that storm AWAY from ME. MUCH appreciated!

uo-chan: Oh, you're too funny! Cute joke!

Smileyfreak: I know! He says that since he's a BOY, the hair is not important...which is funny 'cause HIS hair is important to him...just not MINE.

kathryn said...

Sir Thomas AKA (Winters Reaper): Aw. Thank you! I appreciate the compliment!

TC: HA! Oh, Zach sounds like a hoot! You'd better behave yourself when he's around, or he'll blackmail you with it later!

Spot: Thanks, honey! Yeah, Connor's da BEST....and it's always good to have that confirmation that you're doing something right! Weekend's great so far...hope yours is great as well.

Carol: HA! Yeah...he doesn't seem like the kind of boy who'll be too interested in a gal's hair...but he's BIG on how his own looks. Go figure!

Tina: Aw. Thanks, honey! God knows...I try!

kathryn said...

Jerry: Why thank you, kind sir. Yes, I do believe Connor psycho-analyzes me...more often than I'd like, actually!

Heather: Why couldn't you comment? Is it a problem on MY end or YOUR end? I hope everything's okay...I'm heading over to say hello.

wendy said...

Seriously, there are days when I need those emotional drawings on T-shirts so I can display what I'm feeling at a glance! You're a tough, brave woman Kathryn. You've been through a lot but seem to be handling it all like a true human being =) Here's hoping Kevin will be getting along better in no time. So glad that blogging is a release and support for you =)

Kim said...

Pure comedy! Love it!

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