Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Save Me

(**Author’s note: I began this post on Tuesday (12.15.09) evening. My laptop evidently felt unwell, and so it proceeded to go completely and utterly insane. It is presently 10:15pm on Wednesday (12.16.09) and I’ve just re-connected to cyber-internet-ville. Seeing that I’m on my third glass of Cloudy, I’ll observe the traditional post-laptop-insanity by crashing and will start fresh on Thursday, 12.17.09. As always…thanks for understanding.**)

This marks the end of a long, effed-up day. Throughout the day, I kept re-focusing on the brass ring: a cocktail and blogville.

A cocktail and blogville….I’ve just got to make it to the end of this hellish day…at which point, a cocktail and blogville await….I’ll take a gulp sip and type the words “Save Me”…and I’ll lose myself in the mundane happiness of mediocrity that is my blog…yes, that is exactly what I will do…I just have to get through the next four six seven hours.

So, here I sit…happily gulping sipping my Cloudy…ready to focus on something completely humdrum….for that is heaven to me.

Sunday, Connor and I put up the tree. Wanna see?

Of course, it’s the best tree ever. I need to make sure you notice the starfish and sand-dollar ornaments…(my nod to summer in the season that is the polar opposite) while providing unequivocal proof that sometimes impulse purchases are totally worth the green. In addition, I’d like to point out the curly-q’d pieces of wood, painted silver or gold…used in place of the more traditional tinsel….and called “ting”. I ((heart)) my ting. Unfortunately, so does Metro (the wonderdog), which is why you’ll notice that the ting doesn’t begin until approximately three feet up the tree. Metro seems to think that “ting” is a fancy way of saying, “Fetch the shiny curly stick, Puppy.” Go figure.

We had an itty-bitty prob with the lights. You see, I’m a bit obsessive about my lights. I’d found them online several years ago and I can honestly say that they twinkle. None of this frenetic *BLINK ON*, *BLINK OFF* crap…these honest-to-God twinkle. They’re sparkly and twinkly and completely random (gee…sorta like me?) and I love them. They’re not white-white…more of an antique white. A yellow-y white, if you will.

All of this twinkly-love has developed into some twinkly-frustration…as one by one, the paltry 50-light strands give out on me….and I can’t find replacements. I began with eight strands…two burned out on me last year and we’d carefully marked them accordingly…not trashing them entirely with the optimistic thought that we’d cannibalize ‘em in future years. That left six strands for this year…or, so I thought. We couldn’t get three of them to work this year. I’m no math whiz, but I do believe that’s a 50% reduction in twinkly-ness.

Is there such a thing as a Geek Squad for Christmas lights??

(Insert dramatic Christmas-sigh here.)

carissajade said...

Ahh I'm sorry about your lights, but you have a beautiful tree!! I don't even have a tree anywhere this year.. I usually have my own but this year the roomies decided to shed their focus on the outside of our house, which is now completely gayafied, but now that my parents have separated, I don't even have one to go home to! Sad... but either way, you have a beautiful tree and i hope you can get the lights fixed!

Jenny said...

Ooooh! I want to hug it! It's all fat and beautiful and just what a Christmas tree should be. It is certainly the Best Tree Ever.

Hmmmm...twinkly lights you say? I will spend some time with google myself to attempt to be of some help. This must be rectified. You just do not mess with a person's lights. You just don't.

Jenny said...

Please excuse the second posting, but I must say...What the what is wrong with Christmas light marketing people? I mean, seriously, BLINKING is NOT TWINKLING! Don't label something as "twinkle lights" when it is so very clearly blinking and not twinkling.

Thank you for listening. It needed to be said. That is all.

Lou said...

It is a beautiful tree Kathryn, love the summer touches too. I drinking Marlborough sauv blanc right now too though not Cloudy.

dailyseeking said...

Your tree is beautiful! Every year we have several strands of lights that will go out; then we have to unstrand (new word?) them and insert new ones. I guess it's tradition.

K.L.M. said...

I think the "light makers" have an agenda! Every year it seems at least one set no longer works.I love, love lots of lights on my tree (which is why I use Garland lights, 3 for every 1 on a regular strand, you don't need any other lights on in the room!!)Love your tree even with less lights this year!

Unknown said...

Sorry things aren't going so smoothly... but it truly is a beautiful tree. So sit back, relax and enjoy the (partially) twinkly show!

Natalie said...

Your tree is beautiful! Sorry that you had a rough day before you were able to get home and enjoy it.

I've been thinking that each day is Friday... so the days must be getting slower!

Anonymous said...

I didn't even notice that half of the twinkly light were gone. That tree looks just about as perfect as perfect gets! And sorry about the rough day but at least the weekend is coming up so hurray!!!!!
enjoy that cloudy...

Lauren said...

Sucks about the lights, but your tree looks pretty anyway. As a kitten, Meeko uses to eat the tree and ornaments, particularly tinsel. We just started sitting in the living room with a water gun. He stopped pretty quickly. I'm sure he was the only one to lose weight during Christmas those years. Perhaps there's an equivalent puppy solution?

JP said...

Every year we get the lights out and go through them and there's about a 50/50 chance that any strand won't work.

We've given up on trying figure out why they don't work and we just pitch them. A strand of 100 lights were like $1.66 at Wallyworld. I'm severely tempted to just throw them away when I take them off the tree.

KT said...

Awww, you're tree is the BESTEST tree ever! too bad about the lights. I've only had mine for 3 years and we've only used them twice. this year the tree's not going up since we won't be here for xmas. Before you kill me, I did decorate the rest of the house.
Shouldn't your boys be able to fix it? Isn't this kind of thing innate? Maybe they're your geek squad for xmas lights.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

Christmas lights are my hubby's bane. He decided he would rather throw the old tree out, lights and all, just so he doesn't have to take the lights off. Your tree does look pretty!

Anonymous said...

Beautiful Tree! I know exactly how that feels the can't wait to enter the "blogville zone" (insert twilight zone music here) it seems to be an awesome escape.
Your life is not mundane at all. Nah ah.

Heather said...

Your tree looks great. Them lights are such a headache.

Good ole Cloudy saves the day!

Straight Guy said...

The mini-lights have ruined many a holiday high for me. But I do have a helpful tip. Use old paper towel spools (or sections of PVC pipe, whatever) to wrap your lights around as you pull them off the tree or bushes. Won't save you from the burn-outs, but will save you from the tangles. Next year, test them on the tube, then just unroll as you put them on the tree. When you roll them on, roll the socket end first, the plug end last, so that they come off the tube next year the right way.

JD at I Do Things said...

*insert dramatic Christmas gasp here*

I LOVE your tree. It's truly gorgeous. LOVE the sand dollars and starfish. How cool. We only put lights on our tree this year because of Prudence. Even that was a hassle.

Oh, and our lights are colored and blinky. Annoyingly blinky. I want twinkly next year.

Betsy said...

Me likey! I don't dare put a real tree up or it would be knocked over in seconds as each of our cats would attempt to chase each other up it simultaneously. So fake it is for us. And the decorations are lopsided because all of the antique fragile ones are up top and the cheap non-breakable ones are down low (see above, re: cats) but when the lights are on it's not as obvious. My dog doesn't have any interest in the tree, which is good because I have my hands full with one cat who keeps trying to *eat* the tree and then proceeds to vomit up pieces of plastic green needles....why do I have cats again?

Is there such a thing as cyber prozac for computers that go insane? ;)

Spot said...

As someone who hasn't even managed to get the tree up yet this year, I heartily salute you!! I love your twinkly lights and ting!!

I just know the cats are going to end up knocking over the tree this year. *sigh*


Áine said...

Your post reminded me of a wonderful memory from when I was younger. A neighbour and me,in a sitting room,medium sized.The whole floor space is covered in lights,tangled lights. Took us about three hours to untangle them lol :)

wendy said...

Beautiful tree. Love the ting. I loathe tinsel. And ting is better cause if your doggie ate tinsel it could do major damage to his insides. Where exactly does a person find ting? This is the first time I've ever seen/heard of it.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

There's always SOMETHING that goes wrong isn't there?

Gigi said...

The quote that resonates across the land at this time of year is: "These efff-ing lights!"

I hear you about the BLINKING lights (and how about those blinking lights that are not in sync??? Enough to bring on a seizure!). But you found twinkle lights? I would so LOVE that!! Hope you can find replacements.

kathryn said...

carissajaded: Aw. I'm sorry to hear about your parents, sweetie. Will we get to see the splendor that is the outside of your abode?? Thanks for the wishes...I hope we can get 'em fixed, too!

Jenny: Aw...ha! How sweet are you?? I'm loving your incredulous response to my blinking versus twinkling issue. I mean...seriously! After the first 2 times of bringing home *blinking*, I started testing them in the store. THEY LIE, I TELL YA!(You have my permission to post as many times as you'd like!)

Lou: Thanks, sweetie! You've changed your avatar! I'm sooo jealous of you and your Marlboro SB!

kathryn said...

dailyseeking: Yeah...well...this is one tradition I could do without!'s a beautiful tree regardless.

KLM: I think you're correct! I'm sure they can't make any green if their lights last forever....but still...I simply must whine about it.

ValleyWriter: HA! That's exactly right! A semi-twinkly show! And yes...I can certainly live with that!

kathryn said...

serendipitous: Thank you! We're barreling towards the weekend now...only 1 more day to go! Next week's a 3-day week! Whee!

Fierce: Aw, thanks sweetie! The tree looks great in all it's semi-twinkliness. And's been a Cloudy Bay kinda week. This week is kicking my ass!

Lauren: Yeah...I'm sure there's a puppy solution for the ting-stealing. Do you want to come over here and sit in front of my tree??

kathryn said...

JP: Hey, Dude! Good to see you! HA! So, you're of the "ditch-em-after-each-holiday" mentality for the lights? I think I'm liking that idea!

book*addict: Oh, that's right! You're heading for....was it Istanbul? No...was it Boca? Nope. Nicaragua, bay-bee!!!!

Tinkerschnitzel: HA! That must be a GUY thing, 'cause he's the 2nd guy to mention throwing the lights away! I guess it's easier than trying to fix 'em!

WannabeVirginiaW: Aw, thanks, sweetie! I love being *right here*'s a total escape and I wish I could just STAY HERE.

kathryn said...

Heather: Thank Gawd for Cloudy. It's frustrating...wiggling and waggling those lights....trying to make 'em work...and wondering what happened over the summer to make 'em break.

Straight Guy:'ve given this some serious thought! I. Am. Impressed. Sounds like you've gotten this down to a science. So, can you look at my lights now??

JD at I Do Things: Aw...thank you, doll! Oh, Pru...what are we gonna do with you? Gus behaves, though? If you find "twinkly" let me know!

kathryn said...

Gingerella: HA! I'll have to look into that "cyber-Prozac" for laptop. Honestly, it sounds like your cat could use some too! Altho, you're about the kazillionth person to have this same prob w/the cats vs the tree!

Spot! Oh, you cat-owners and your tree-issues! I guess this is a common theme...ya gotta love those felines. I remember anchoring ours one year w/fishing line when we had the cats.

Smileyfreak: Who did this to you? Was this a way that Mom had to keep you two occupied? Sounds suspicious to me!

Wendy Blum: Thank you! I found the ting at a craft store...but it's long...around 2-2 1/2 feet. But only the top 5-8" is curly, so I cut the bottoms off. It's cool, right??

Ron said...

Greetings Kathryn!

Sorry to hear you had an effed-up day, but I gotta tell ya...

...your tree looks freakin' FAAAABULOUS!!!!

Festive, yet tasteful!

And I'm with you, girl...I don't like BLINKING lights, but rather TWINKLING lights. Blinking lights always make me feel like I'm looking at a highway caution sign.

And I can totally FEEL your frustration with the burned out light strands because inevitably this would happen to me each year. I'd get them all up and positioned on the tree PERFECTLY and then after I plugged them in the strand in the MIDDLE of the tree would be burned out.


Hey...I just noticed your cute little snowflakes falling down over your blog - how COOL!

Hope you had a great Thursday!


kathryn said...

Oddyoddyo13: YES....something HAS to go wrong, or I'd have NOTHING to write about. (Altho, things seem to go wrong, regardless!)

Gigi: EXACTLY! You are dead on about the seizure-inducing, sporadic *BLINKING*...that's the perfect way to describe it! Love my twinklies...only 3 strands left. Grrrrr.

Unknown said...

Kathryn - the tree looks beautiful! I have a small section on my tree that is blinking and I can't find the blinker bulb to stop it! Aaaahhhhh!

My husband bought us the new LED lights for outside ... the icicle lights definitely *twinkle*. Lovely! And the LED lights are sort of like neon. Not the warm yellowish glow of the old-style lights; more of a bluish white. Pretty awesome.

Alicia said...

Hey! I love your ting! When I saw it I thought you had just taken strips of curling ribbon and curled it and fastened it to the tree, but your ting is better :-)

Ok, I've asked this before, but what is Cloudy? Is it wine, beer, a mixed drink? Cause I'd really like to try it. Let me know.

Moonrayvenne said...

The tree is beautiful even if you only have half the twinkle!
Pets can be a real pain during the holiday season. You don't want them to be electricuted until after the family has gone back!

Anonymous said...

Poo! I feel your pain. I adooore fairy lights - especially twinkly fairy lights. I love them so much, that they are a permanent fixture in my apartment (elegantly twined around my stand-up lamp's tall post to be lit, along with candles, in the evenings, as I wistfully think about sipping a little drinky drinky... but I digress).

Any chance you can find replacement strands on eBay?

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