Wednesday, December 30, 2009

Little Things

When you think about it, it’s the little things that make life better. Maybe not perfect…but definitely better.

Take tonight, for example. I made breakfast for dinner….French toast, to be exact. Given the fact that I am an excellent "cook" (not), the house immediately filled with smoke

…as this is the customary environment when Kathryn "cooks".

And in keeping with this time-honored tradition, my "cook"ware looked like this:


So, I reach under the sink for some sort of scrubbing chemical and I pull out one of the items my dad gave me the other day during my visit.

Dad has a habit of doling out items he finds (and doesn’t use) from his cupboards. He’ll hand it to you under the guise of being generous…but we kids know it’s his way of cleaning out stuff without actually having to throw anything away.

This is the stuff:

…and it’s probably been under his sink since…I’m estimating around 1979.

I expected the powder to be white…it was black. For a second, I wondered if the powder had been replaced with 30 years worth of mouse poop.

Ya know what? It worked freakin’ great. Melted that cement-like grease away…I’m sure it’s some chemical that’s since been banned by the FDA for causing lab mice to grow an extra nipple and stalk around in their cages rolling their eyes and informing anyone who even glances at them to “seriously bite me”.

Here’s hoping all of yoos have a great freakin’ New Year’s. You’d betta listen up. Don’t make me go all Guido on yoos.

(New Yawk sending out the loooove)


carissajaded said...

Oh Kathryn. You just made me feel alot better knowing there was someone out there whose cooking skills/environment is equally as bad as mine!!! Except for that's not my dad's stuff... it's my own! Sad!

Tina said...

Yay! You made me smile as always! Happy New Year!!!
Love, Tina

Anonymous said...

Do you have to make me howl with laughter first thing in the morning? You know, my neighbors are starting to think I'm going crazy. :p

Whateves, though... I still luuuvs ya.

Seriously, though, have a fabulous New Year, and may 2010 rock your world in a non-apocalyptic way.

Felicity Grace Terry said...

Too right, it is the little things that make life what it is. A real feel-good post, thanks for making me smile. Best wishes for 2010.

Felicity Grace Terry said...

Too right, it is the little things that make life what it is. A real feel-good post, thanks for making me smile. Best wishes for 2010.

dailyseeking said...

Happy New Year and you have been a blessing to me this year! Your blogs always bring a smile.

ToBlog today said...

I love this!!! When I first started dating my now husband, I made him grilled cheese. How hard can that be, right? My kitchen looked like your first picture, but he still married me.

Have a great, fabulous, amazing 2010!!!

Bobby Allan said...

Funny! My parents have stuff like this under their sink and you're right, it all works like a charm!

Happy New Year, Sweetie!
Bernie sends kisses to Metro~

Jen said...

Now get rid of that stuff before you poison the whole family. Maybe you need to just think about take out. Chinese food and champagne go well.

Unknown said...

Nothing wrong with testing the smoke alarms regularly! (That's what I call it when the kitchen gets smoky.. hee hee.)

Happy New Year!

Tinkerschnitzel said...

Mmm...french toast. Happy new year!

Spot said...

Wow. That's how my daughter cooks too!! And you were very brave to use that scary stuff on your pan. I hope you don't grow a third nipple though. And you don't start saying "seriously bite me" because some people just might!

Have a fantabulous New Year's!!! And if you drink too much text me...because tipsy Kathryn is even extra funny!!


Mark Price said...

At my house the smoke alarm going nuts is like 'ol Barbara Stanwyck ringing the dinner bell on the Big Valley! "Nick, Heath, Audra! come quick, the baaaaaaarns afire!!" MMMMM french toast!

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Are you talkin' to ME??

Ah, the good ole days, when chemicals were allowed to do their job...

Momiji chan said...

hey i have a question does the snow thing cost anything and does give your computer a virus i am very scepitacall of downloading anything that is not heathly for my computer ha ha so yeah i read your post omg i could have done worse ha ha

Anonymous said...

I am so glad I stumbled upon your blog and thanks for all your entertaining posts.

Have a happy and safe New Year.

Unknown said...

Ok Kathryn... the smoke detector is an emergency alarm... not the dinner timer. (says the girl who set of the smoke detectors in the WHOLE HOUSE this morning *they're all connected* when she made toast.)


Thaydra said...

For everyone in my family, the fire alarm signals that dinner is ready. Something akin to them ringing the farm bell, I think.

It makes me nervous about if there is ever a real fire. It will be 3 in the morning, and everyone will just think I'm up trying to make breakfast.....

JD at I Do Things said...

Happy New Year, Kathryn!

Here's to more blogging fun in 2010. With or without Vicodin.

Heather said...

I have been know to have the kitchen layered in smoke.

I wonder how old that stuff really is? I have never seen it before!

Happy New Year too you too!

wendy said...

Hey if that banned lab chemical was good for growing bigger breasts instead of extra nipples I'd give you my address so you could send it my way. As always is my luck, foiled again. LMAO! And I give things like lotions and shampoos, and cosmetics that I tried and didn't use or just didn't like away. I take them to work and put a free sign on them. Never had to take anything back home. Never thought to try it with household cleaners...Your dad sounds sweet =)

wendy said...

Ha Ha! Just noticed the Charlie Brown Chrismas tree! Too cute. Did you put it there to show the products actual size?

Anonymous said...

Now I don't feel so bad for almost burning the house down that one time... I joke... but the weird black thingie worked so that's good.
Have a freakin' good new year's ;)

Gigi said...

Kathryn! You cook so much better than I! At least the house didn't catch fire! Have a Happy New Year girl! Looking forward to getting to know ya even better in the coming year!

Ron said...


OMG...when I saw the first photo of the smoke, I HOWLED!

And then when I saw the last photo I HOWLED even more!

Listen, I finally had to disconnect my smoke alarm because burning things while I cooked was just an everytime occurence. I never got the "Italian cooking gene" that my family members seem to have.

I got the "clean up gene."

If I was rich, I would pay someone a million dollars to cook for me. I'll be more than happy to clean up afterwards, but please don't ask me to cook.

I burn popcorn in the microwave!


GRRRRREAT post, my friend!

Wishing you the most FAAAAAAAABULOUS New Year ever!

I look forward to this next year blogging with ya!

Go, 2010!


Lauren said...

lol I'm so sorry about your cooking. If ever you want a crash course that'll reduce you to the edge of tears, you're more than welcome to spent a day at work with me. We also have chemicals (not from 30 years ago) that destroy grease as well as the finish on plates. I sense an opportunity to smuggle.

Happy New Year!

Geist Bites said...

It's certainly much better than anything I could do!

Moonrayvenne said...

WOW! That stuff really looks old! I'm sure my babcia has something like that too, but she won't part with it...LOL!
Happy New Year to you & your family & may 2010 be the best year EVAH!!!!!!!

kathryn said...

carissajaded: Oh, I truly believe I am the WORST when it comes to smoke-inhalation due to meal-preparation!

Tina: YAY! I'm so glad! Aren't we just the BEST WRITERS...LIKE, EVER??
Happy Twenty-Ten bay-bee!!

~:C:~ Aw...let the neighbors wonder, sweetie! You're not just know how to LAUGH! Here's to a new year FILLED with as many as we can muster! xo

kathryn said...

Petty Witter: Thank you....I'm wishing you the same! Joy, health and serious BLISS in twenty-ten!

dailyseeking: Thank you, sweetie! The feeling's mutual...I can't wait to share this brand-spanking-new year with you!

Angelina: Aw....good for hubby! He could see past the see how wonderful you ARE! Same to you, doll! Joy in 2010!

kathryn said...

Chrissy: Of course it works like a charm! I'm sure everything was stronger in the '70's! Metro sends some serious lovin' to sweet Bernie-
Happy Twenty-Ten to you too, doll!

Jen: Oh, are so right, my friend. Why am I trying so hard to burn down da house?? Cheers, sweetie!

ValleyWriter: HA! So, I'm not the only one, eh? Good (great!) to know. MY smoke alarms have never gone off! Hmmmmm....checking 'em now!

kathryn said...

Tinkerschnitzel: Yum. Thanks, sweetie! Happy New Year to you, too!

Spot: Thank you for acknowledging my bravery, my friend. Gee...I wonder how I got this "rep" of being a tipsy-texter??!

Mark Price: HA!You've totally captured the very essence of a typical dinnertime at my house! How-eva did you know??

kathryn said...

Maureen@IslandRoar: Well, tanks-a-freakin'-lot for da shout-out, Lay-dee....YEAH, I'm talking to YOU!
(Checks inside blouse) No sign of any additional nipples so far....

saku chan: was free. I'm WAY too cheap to pay for something I'd only use during...ya know...that season. You could always wait for spring and just fuggetaboutit....

WannabeVirginiaW: Thank you, sweetie! Same to you and yours! Looking forward to a fabulous year together!

kathryn said...

SMOOG: HA! "Emergency alarm" you say? Are you sure?? "Backup" maybe? Otherwise, I have a LOT of emergencies in my house...right around 6pm.

Thydra: Oh, that is too funny! Fam will keep right on sleeping 'cause Mom's frying up some eggs....(that's what they'll tell the fireman!)

JD at I Do Things: Happy New Year to you too, doll! YES...more blogging fun! And right now, I could SO USE some vikes!

kathryn said...

Heather: I'm glad I'm not the only one re: the smoke. And seriously...I think that stuff is from the late 70's, early 80's!

Wendy Blum: Aw! You're the first one to mention my Charlie Brown tree! That was simply to add a festive air to the photo....thanks for noticing!

Fierce: HA! Happy Freakin' Day to you, too sweetie! Looking forward to a great year of blogging with you!

Gigi: Right back at-cha, sweetie! Could you imagine if we lived on the same block? We could consolidate the fireman's regular route! We'd be on their speed dial! Looking forward to hanging with you in '10, bay-bee!

kathryn said...

RON! Aw honey! You and me BOTH! WTF? How did this all-important Italian gene MISS BOTH OF US??, I'll ORDER the food and YOU can clean it up! Done! Love ya, Ronnie!xo

Lauren: HA! I can use all the help I can get! I'll definitely come to your work and pilfer out your plate-destroying bad can it be??!

Technolustmaxx: Don't be so sure...I'm pretty baaaad.

Collette: Thanks, sweetie! HA! I can only imagine how old this stuff is! I hope you and your fam have a FABULOUS's gonna ROCK! I'm soooo glad to know you!!

Noelle said...

Poor, dear Kathryn,
As hard as it is to break up with your meterologist, we all have to move on, and hey when you find the right one, you'll know it, don't ask ME how. It just happens!
Don't shed too many tears over this guy when he turns out to be just another one of the frogs, as it will just end up taking you longer to find the real prince, ya know?
Good post. I can also relate to coming up for air after 6 or 8 hours messing around on said Computer Monster. It happens to me too, and those are the times when I realize that I truly AM grateful that I have a family that gets hungry ("I AM STARVING and I might die MOTHER, what would child welfare have to say about this, huh?") at the same time every evening and if I pass that time, well, let's just say that they let me know, and have they EVER got their ways of making it abundantly clear to me!
However, if not for them in just this ONE instance, I'd one day be found dead of hunger and dehydration, my head on my keyboard and qwerty spelled every which way one can imagine!
OH, and I like what you've done with the place, you have a touch.
Thanks for the etertainment, as I too have been stranded since Thursday evening in snow that will not stop falling. I am concerned that in the new P.C. lingo, the statement "Occasional Snow Showers" tranlates as "Get comfy everyone, because it's not going to stop for awhile!" Thanks for the laugh!

KT said...

i wish i would've read this on new year's eve. it def would've made it better. anyways, nice grease on the pan....i'm not a bad cook but i definitely know how to (says in sexy voice) grease up my pans.....
i'm not sure if this comment is making sense at this point. BTW have you noticed i'm trying to catch up...too many posts, my friend. I feel totally unlevelled. ah well, on to the next one.

kathryn said...

Noelle: Oh, you are soooo right on the money! The one thing I've noticed when the boys visit their dad is that I don't eat! (I kinda like not having to stop in the middle of something to burn, er...I mean "cook" something for them to eat) I hope you're seeing some sunshine there, sweetie! We've actually got SUN! Remember SUN???

book*addict: Oh, sweetie! Don't stress out about staying current on comments with me...unless you're bursting at the seams to tell me something! I don't want you to feel "obligated" to keep up-I'll still loves ya!

Admin said...

First time here,just checking you out,cheers

kathryn said...

muyiwa: Welcome! I raise my glass back in cheers to you as well! Hope you'll visit again one day.

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