So, I'd recently mentioned the 100 new words that have been added to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary.
Most of you were seriously not impressed…and more than a few were peeved at “the audacity these guys had to wait so freakin’ long to include some of these words that have already been around like, for-eva…” or something along these lines.
But how do you really feel about it?
Thing is, you’ve got to think about who we’re dealing with here. As far as I’m concerned, here’s a recent shot of the Merriam-guys:
As you can plainly see, they’re half in the bag already…and they’re only ten minutes into the meeting. Furthermore, the left two are totally distracted playing a secret game of chess behind the back of the guy with the obvious acid-reflux disease (hand on da chest)...or he's expressing his undying love to the photographer of this shot, I can't be sure. The next guy looks about ready to lose his lunch and is barely able to keep his hat on (notice how he's literally holding himself up by hanging on to acid reflux/lovestruck guy),whilst the guy behind him has misplaced his hat completely…but no-one’s gonna bring that up ‘cause he’s the guy holding the much-anticipated list of new words, don’tchaknow. The guy all the way on the right passed away about two days ago, but they needed six guys in order for the new words to pass, so ‘ole Simon was propped up, gloves were placed on his hands to distract from the issue of his rotting extremities and if you seriously pay attention, you’ll see that “list guy” is casually holding up Simon’s left arm in the universal “sounds good to me…I vote yes!” position.
The transcript of the last meeting read:
Guy With No Hat: “So-eth, I say-eth to all who can read-eth these words that as of this effing day, we shall now utter words such as ‘acai’ and ‘goji’ to describe the most rarest of fruity berries from faraway lands. And now we shall drink-eth to these newest of words! Whee!”
So, seriously….what did you expect?
Then you’ve got the Urban Dictionary dudes and dudettes:
1) Butter face: (n.) A girl who is hot, except for her (but her, butter) face.
e.g.: “If J. Lo had her face torn apart by wild dogs, people would call her a butter face.”
2) Air jerk: Making a ‘jerking off’ motion with one’s hand to express disgust, disinterest or disbelief, while simultaneously rolling one’s eyes. Similar to concept of playing air guitar (Author’s note: I swear…I’m not making this up.)
e.g.: “I think she’s pissed. She just gave me an air jerk and walked away.”
Latest transcript was unavailable as no-one could hold a pen, find a tissue, or stop laughing 'cause of the Red Bull coming out of good 'ole Danny's nose.
(Picture me simulating the motion of playing an air guitar whilst rolling my eyes as I walk away…..)