Sunday, October 25, 2009

Then and Now

Kathryn: (Staring off into the view across the street) “Yikes. I can’t get over the lackluster autumn we’ve had. You know, I think I’ve got a photo on laptop from just about a year ago. I think we should do some comparisons. Put Mother Nature on the stand, so to speak. Send her straight into the Hall of Shame, if you will. Sound good to you?”

“………………….. -----………………………..------……………………”

Kathryn: “Clinton?”

Clinton Kelly (Distracted IV): “Hm? What. Did you say something?”

K: “Why yes….yes, I did.”



C: “WHAT? I don’t…….. “

K: (Annoyed) “What the hell? Are you even listening to me?”

C: “Look at that ladybug. She’s walking backwards…it’s like she’s doing some sort of bizarre insect-moonwalk or something. Are you getting this?”

K: “Uh huh. Film at eleven. Now, as I was saying…”

C: “No, now YOU wait. You’re the one who’s always telling me to slow down… ‘it’s all in life’s little details…’ yada, yada…so here I’m noticing one of those little freakin’ details you’re always lecturing about and you’re just blowing it off? Like it doesn’t even matter?”

K: (Sighs dramatically) “Well, NO. I mean, YES…it does matter….and no, I’m not ‘blowing it off’. (Sighs again. Smiles wryly.) Tell me all about the ladybug.”

C: “I just did. Look at her. She takes a few steps forward, then she back-steps a few steps…for no discernable reason…then she changes direction. It’s bizarre. This is not typical insect behavior.”

K: (Squinting, frowning) “Huh. So, you think she’s doing some kind of buggie-Macarina? And how do you know what’s ‘typical’, anyway?”

C: (Scowls) “I’ve studied insect behavior. I’m a guy. Guys know bugs.”

K: (Laughs) “Oh, really? Really? Where do you put your Blackberry?”

C: (Confused) “What? What do I…what? What does that have to do with- - -..."

K: “I’ll re-phrase. Where do you store your Blackberry when you leave the house?”

C: “In my inner-jacket pocket. Sometimes in my shirt pocket. And your point is….?”

K: (Sighs) “Yeah, well... we gals don’t have shirt pockets. It’s just another one of those times when I wish I was a guy. You get to pee standing up, you have that deep voice that makes the kids listen to you…and as if that wasn’t enough, you get to be cowboys…”

C: (Serious blue-eyed stare) “If you don’t start making sense in about five seconds, I’m going to use my Blackberry to call those nice men…”

K: (Rolls eyes) “Women can’t be cowboys. They’re cowBOYS…and the hats are a major problem for the hair. We’d never allow it.”

C: “Five….four….three…”

K: “My POINT is that just because you are of a certain gender, you don’t get to automatically have expertise, or huge advantages in every stereotypical gender-related subject. Such as bugs…or bodily functions, or electronic equipment. Just 'cause we gals don't go on and on about something doesn't mean we're not extremely familiar. We just don't talk about it incessantly. And don’t think I haven’t noticed that we’re supposed to carry OUR Blackberries in our bags, where they get mixed in with Kleenex and purell wipes and then we look stupid when we have to root around for them and we miss the call. You guys get to whip those babies out of your man-holsters on the first ring. And look how long it took for them to develop something that was even remotely meant as the female equivalent to Viagra! Don't think we're not aware of this....'cause we totally are.”

C: “You’re ranting. You know this.”

K: “Yeah? Well, your ladybug’s dead. See?”

C: “Maybe she's just sleeping. Performing all those moves would take a lot out of anyone. Show me those photos. Want me to hold your Blackberry?”

K: “Yeah….that would be nice.”

(We hear the song “Little Wonders” begin to play…. “Time falls away…but these small hours…these little wonders….still remain….”)

October 17, 2008:

October 25, 2009:

Different time of day? Sure, but photos don't lie.

Mother Nature? Rebuttal??

Anonymous said...

XD Nice conversation. I had to double take on the pictures. I feel like this is a lame comment bleh...I'm tired that's my excuse. Oh and time drop the "s" off the she in your next comment. XD

Unknown said...

Oooh... Mother Nature: owned!!!

Another great post! I hate it when people assume that because I'm a woman I won't know anything about some particular topic. I LOVE to show them just how wrong they are!

Hope you've had a great weekend Kathryn!


ps - man holsters. hehe

Ron said...

Hello There Cowgirl!


I totally agree with the lackluster Autumns in the past couple years. In fact, I was just over at Chrissy's earlier today and noticed how glorious they are in Ohio, but told her that here in Philly we've got nothing.


Hey, I loved this...

...she’s doing some kind of buggie-Macarina...


Too funny!

I enjoyed your photos.'s beautiful where you live!

Hope you had great day, my friend!

Ciao baby!


kathryn said...

Insanity! Yeah...I actually went over to your place and changed it. Sorry. That's the 2nd time today I typed faster than my brain can think and didn't review my comment before hitting "publish". I think we're both tired...and it's only 9pm for me! Yikes!

Smoog! Our famous interview-ee by the infamous RON @ VENT! HA! Ya liked my "man holsters" remark? You've no idea how long I've been waiting to sneak that in! Hope you've had a great weekend yourself, missy! (Connor's down w/a bad cold...kept me hopping this weekend)

kathryn said...

RON! I know...I've got quite the view, eh? know you're welcome here anytime...just watch out for the deer poop! Thank Gawd Manhattan's only 90 minutes away!

Why do you think we've had such crappy colors? I'm thinking it's all that rain this summer. BIG diff, right?

It's like, "Whatev. Winter? Bring it."

Yesterday's raging rain/winds brought down most of the leaves anyway...not much left now but that moldy leaf-smell and grey skies till spring.

See? I'm whining already!


Mark Price said...

Kathryn, we are having a lovely fall in Kansas. I am hoping for a shit load of snow or at least a white Christmas. I know nothing about ladybugs but it sounds like that one may have had a seizure.

Unknown said...

I totally agree about the not-so-colorful work of Mother Nature this year. Maybe she's on vacation in the Bahamas?

According to the wooly worm I saw yesterday, we are going to have a mild winter. :) Not much black on that baby at all. Who needs Farmer's Almanac when you've got wooly worms?

Great post! Especially loved the "man holsters"!

Natalie said...

I agree with you! We got robbed of summer and now autumns, too! People come up here a lot to go on foliage tours because of the "vibrant" colors. It'd be interesting to see if the number of people coming up here declined over the past few years.

I think that with so much rain and not a lot of sun, that the leaves do not get the sun to change colors the way they used to.

We are definitely due for some good weather!

Moonrayvenne said...

We've had a lot of rain here in Michigan lately, too. The colors in SE lower MI finally are looking like they are supposed to. The weather here has been strange all year. Hopefully, we'll have a mild winter with only a little snow.

Tea said...

Very pretty photo's. You must have some huge piles of leaves to jump into. What fun!

Unknown said...

Same here the colours are not just that vibrant like it had been, nonetheless, mother nature still puts on a good show!

Lynn said...

This year, fall was kind of like "thud." Rain when the leaves were at their best (which were mostly yellow this year, as well--but still pretty), then a big wind and it was pretty much over.

Ah well--there's always next year!

Rambles'N'Shambles said...

how does clinton know that ladybug was a GIRL

it coulda been a BOY lady bug, and HE could have been doing a manly man dance

*remembers watching a bugs life*

Heather said...

well, even in the end he proved that he had heard you.

Great post and great pics.

Momiji chan said...

nice pics they remind me that fall is coming hehe

TC said...

Here in SE Texas fall means rain, in MO though which is HOME if we don't have a good summer as far as rain then the fall colors aren't as bright.
I'm a tomboy, the holster blackberry ladybug thing makes perfect sense. They threaten to call the nice men for you too?

Lauren said...

Man... why do humans have to get up so damn early. Anyway, I would be careful about putting Mother Nature on trial. She still has winter to bring down on our heads. I don't want to walk in six feet of snow! But you are right about this fall. Super crappy. I typically like fall weather but this year it rained the whole dang season. Oh, I don't know what to do in this situation. I'd have to hear Mother Nature's rebuttal to make up my mind. Maybe it was her time of the year?

Spot said...

Gah! Our fall hasn't been great either! The colors were early this year and really pretty but so much rain and cold and nastiness that they are all almost gone by now! I think we are in for a lot of snow this year. Which doesn't bother me, but I do wish fall had been better.

As for ladybugs, we have been having the chinese demon spawn beetle from hell invasion here lately. They look like ladybugs only oranger, and they bite and stink! And swarm and they even get into your house in swarms. It's awful. Hate them.

great post as usual,

Unknown said...

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B-ster said...

I was just thinking the fall colors here were so much ... MORE... this year. Maybe we stole the colors from you? I've been complaining about the shirt pockets for years. I saw a shirt last week that would almost be great if it didn't look so goofy. The upper sleeve had little slots for pens. Now if they could only come up with something a little less obvious.

KT said...

I have no words to describe this post. all i can say is RANDOM!!! I do agree with you on the while viagra for women thing. But I kind of like the idea that men are the one's with the deficiency in that area. totally kills their manhood and makes us look better. But now since there's viagra for women, we have nothing on them.

Geeta said...

Oh my God. I cannot get enough of you and your CK convos. Positively hilarious. He should totally see these.

BlackLOG said...

Good news Kathryn, women can now pee standing up. First it was the vote, now you get the ShePee or as it is sometimes know a SheWee. It is not an urban myth my sister (so not even a friend of a friend said, story) has had the dubious pleasure of using one - they are also available at Amazon and all bad department stores...Now remember girls don't forget to put the toilet seat down after using it, you know how that drives us men crazy....

As for the poor fall this year, I blame it on the beast - the colours are running scared of it and go pale every time I whip it out. 'Ooh err missus

P.S. I'm probably going to get into trouble with you again, I'm afraid I let the cat out of the bag and told Ron while I was over at Vent, about your purchase of Giggles(sex shop emporium) the other day, Don't try and deny it I saw the receipt in the trash can (if you are going to say that was not the shop you purchased but a single item, I just hope it came with rechargable batteries and and lifetime gurantee...) . I tried not to say anything but you know how Ron just has that way of drawing the information out of people. I've put a lock on the "From the inside ...Out" basement door and have turned up my music. I'm not coming out until you calm down....

P.P.S The Ladybug was only sleeping until McG sat on it. It's now a lot flatter, I was in the process of giving it mouth to mouth. I asked McG to continue while I dialled 911 (999 in the UK folks, making it much easier for young children and pets to get through to emergency services) and he informed me that he accidently swallowed it. I'm currently on 24 hour poop watch but to be honesty I don't think it's got much chance of making it.... There will be a memorial held next week...

filmgirl said...

hmmm, not only am I angry at MN (mother nature) about the lackluster autumn, but seriously, it is WAY TOO COLD WAY TOO SOON. If this is a precursor to winter we are SO in trouble.

Jen said...

Too bad the colors are so drab this year. Love the conversation about men always being the experts on things. I usually defer when it comes to picking up dead mice or heavy lifting. Then my husband can be the expert all he wants.

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

Our Autumn is so nice this year. So nice that Mother Nature has decided to come shit on it tomorrow and bring 40 degree high temps and snow. Bitch.

kathryn said...

Mark Price: HA! Quick! Do you know any ladybug-CPR?? Well, I'm glad to hear SOMEONE's having a colorful autumn...'cause it sure isn't us. And you can keep your blasted snow, mister.

Kimberly: YAY, wooly worm! So, we've decided, "The hell with the weathermen....what do THEY know? The best indicators of winter are the WORMS, bay-bee!" Sounds good to me!

serendipitous: That makes perfect less sun, more rain, less color in foliage. I'll bet visitors are WAY down due to ppl seeing the lackluster colors at home...why drive up to see 'em up north?

Collette: I'm with you, honey. Only a *little* snow....just enough for ambiance...not enough to do the slide-and-slip in the car. What do you consider "mild" in Michigan??

Isabella: Leaves? With all those deer ticks? ICK. See? This is what being a Mommy does to you...makes you see the impracticality of things. Lucky for US, that's the's not our property!

Marissa the Conservative said...

Oh no! Why are the trees super pretty and colorful in 2008, and all one color in 2009? They blend... blah. I mean, it's a few green and red trees in '09, but seriously... 08 was just... BOOMING with those babies! :( Let's SO put Mother Nature in the Hall of Shame.

kathryn said...

WannabeVirginiaW: Yeah...Mother Nature...I can't decide if she should STOP being so unpredictable or START mixing things up a bit.

Allegria: we get the grey skies and rotting-leaf-smell. At least if it doesn't rain so much, we'll get the leaf-crackle-when-you-walk...which is better than nothin'!

evilteenietiff: HA! "A manly man dance". Whatever kind of dance this was, this bug was not in it's right mind...I do believe I even saw it stumble a little bit...

Heather: You are correct. He does eventually hear me. It's a good thing, too...or I'd be talking to myself. (!)

saku chan: Yes, I suppose there's no avoiding it now, right? It's almost here and GONE!

TC: Yes...(hangs head)...I get the "nice men" threat quite often. You, too?? So, didn't you have rain as well with summer? As in, way too much of it?

Lauren: Don't think I haven't raged about Mother Nature's bout with being pre-menopausal...'cause I have! And I DO realize I'm probably gonna live to regret it....that and 15' of snow to wade through this winter. UGH.

Spot! What? Orange, stinky, biting ladybug-like creatures?? Ew. Gross. What're they REALLY called? Google doesn't know them by YOUR name...

jmberrygirl: Aw! How sweet are you?? I'll be right there, sweetie!

B-ster: Shirt with pen slots? Seriously?? Is there a new look I don't know about? Well, you may keep your fall colors....we don't need them NOW. But, I believe we'd like them back for next autumn, please.

book*addict: Oh, don't you even START, missy. The day guys can operate both sides of their brain at the same time, then we'll talk about true equality. Till then, we're still light years ahead. (Oh, I'm gonna pay for this remark...I just know it!)

Geeta: Well, if it makes you feel any better, he really DOES. He's told me he feels it's "...hilarious. Scary, but hilarious!" It IS kinda scary...right??

BlackLOG: Okay. I may not actually WANT to pee standing up, but I like knowing I have the OPTION.
We'll blame the lackluster fall on the's as good a reason as anything.
Crap. You told RON? Of all people, ya had to tell RON?? Ron & I have an unspoken agreement: I foot the bill for 75% of his summer A/C costs and follow him around in the summer, keeping him adequately hydrated with his cocktail of choice and HE agrees to think of me as his innocent, yet wise-cracking NY little sister, who would NEVER purchase a sex-related toy without his express approval. Oh, just GREAT. There goes my reputation! Now, I haveta shovel his front steps AND do his laundry for a MONTH.
As for the ladybug, you just keep watching for it, bud. I've heard it can take up to 3 months for it to pass, so you'd better be watching....

kathryn said...

filmgirl: I am so totally with you on this! WTH? I'm getting the feeling we may be in for a bad could we NOT be with all the rain we had this summer? It's a little scary. I think I wanna move to Boca. You in? We'll come back in March. Manhattan'll still be here....

Jen: Oh, yeah! I call on da boys for all things mice-like...totally freaks me out. BUT. THEY need ME to kill all the spiders. I figure it balances out...somehow.

kathryn said...

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt: Oh, crap! You're not HERE, are you? 'Cause I haven't listened to the weather today! I'm totally NOT READY. "Bitch" is right!!

Marissa the conservative: THANK YOU....I was starting to think I'd IMAGINED posting those photos....that maybe I was the only one that NOTICED.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

On our weekend off island we saw foliage from MA to PA. NJ was the prettiest. But those shots sure are different in one year.

Momiji chan said...

yes she is but i dont know about two days but she is deffinatly letting me go on saturday ^^ thanks for the concern kathryn ^^ and yea its really cold where i live right now i think fall is here for us ^^

filmgirl said...

K, I'm SO IN. wait wait, are there any cute guys there? I like old people, but a girl's gotta have fun.

Unknown said...

Smoog! Our famous interview-ee by the infamous RON @ VENT! HA! Ya liked my "man holsters" remark? You've no idea how long I've been waiting to sneak that in! Hope you've had a great weekend yourself, missy! (Connor's down w/a bad cold...kept me hopping this weekend)

LOL... yes, I loved the man holsters. I wish I had a man holster... oh wait... I guess in a way I do. I also have a dirty mind. ;o)

Is Connor doing better now? Hopefully he's over being sick and didn't pass it on to you.

Talk to you soon! I really need to catch up with my comments... I get behind, stupid work gets in the way!

Have a wonderful day!

kathryn said...

Maureen@IslandRoar: Really? Jersey was the prettiest? You don't think you're just a tad biased?? :)

saku Chan: Oh! Well, I'm happy you're going on Saturday, but sorry it's gotten so COLD. NO WINTER....TOO SOON!

filmgirl: Well, if there are any cute guys, we'll find them! We only want Boca for the earthly heat...we'll take care of the REST!

Smoog! Don't you worry....all is well. Yeah, Connor's better. I wish I had "man holsters"...mine or someone else's. (Wait. Did I say that out loud??)

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