So, I’m driving home from somewhere (it was the liquor store) on a very busy street, somewhat far from my home (it’s the biggest liquor store in the county) the other day. Busy, busy road…2 lanes of traffic in each direction…tons of strip malls, shops, corporate office complex-thingies everywhere.
Then I see something JDF. “JDF” stands for “J.D. FABULOUS”. J.D. is my blogbud over at I Do Things So You Don’t Have To and she’s one of the most fabulous people I know. We’ve gotten into the habit of shooting each other emails on a very regular basis for quite a while now and I’m learning more and more about her every day. This is how I am learning about her true fabulousness. Times infinity.
So, I see this spectacle before me…and I can see JDF written all over it. Metaphorically-speaking, of course. I don't know how I know...I just know.
But I can’t pull over…too much traffic…we’re moving too fast. Everything from the back seat of my car will projectile into the front seat of my car and I’ll be decapitated by a flying umbrella, or a tube of hand cream, or a can of WD-40. And then, what’ll become of my blog? Oh, and my children….I meant to say them first….honestly.
Besides, I don’t have my camera and I’ve yet to uncover the mystery that is the camera on my new cell. I must carry on, but I must remember to come back another day with said camera and capture this JDF thing. I must write myself a note…where are my handy-dandy Post-its? I’m not finding them and I don’t want to wreck the car looking anymore, so I make do with the Post-it that’s already stuck to my dash.
Below is the Actual,
Copyrighted Real-Life Post-It I wrote whilst driving:
When I arrived home, I promptly forgot all about the note stuck to my dash. After all, I am a very, very busy person. When I saw it again, I couldn’t quite make it out. I thought it read,
“Sip Ideals cart ON self BLD6 LB434 TOYOTA RF=!20”
I knew the exclamation point meant it was VERY important information…and that my hands were VERY DIRTY at the time of this writing….and that I have a very CRAPPY pen in my car.
Short of the word TOYOTA, it was gibberish to me, although the “sipping” part made me think of wine…and I did use a cart in the liquor store….
Another 2 days went by (very busy, remember?) before the note made sense. My JDF sighting! So, camera in
hand car, I headed back to the busy, busy autobon with the megamalls and the skyscrapers.
I park my car in the lot closest to my JDF sighting and walk around to take the first shot:
Then, I walk to the front of the building. MORE spiders….and a SUPER HALLOWEEN COSTUME SALE, written in really scary font!
The name of the store is “Giggles”. Huh. That’s an interesting name for a costume store!
Then I see the sign on the front door. It states:
ATTENTION! PLEASE READ!
YOU MUST BE AN OPEN MINDED, MATURE
ADULT, 18 YEARS OF AGE OR OLDER,
WITH A SENSE OF HUMOR TO SHOP
HERE. PLEASE HAVE VALID ID READY.
MEAN PEOPLE ARE PROHIBITED!
THAT’S when I notice the window display:
So. YES, I went in. For informational purposes, mind you. YES, it’s a sex shop. There were three young goth-looking girls behind the counter and several male customers who suddenly looked like deer-in-the-headlights when they saw me walk in. Having a camera in my hand probably didn’t ease their concerns much.
Me to salesgirl: “So. You’re not a costume store, in the traditional sense.”
Girl: “What? Well. You mean like, at the mall?”
(I notice no-one’s moving…and I can sense rather than see that I’m being both watched and listened to. I was tempted to snap into a Charlie’s Angels pose
and yell “FREEZE, SUCKAS!!!”, but I was afraid someone would stroke-out on me and I’d be held liable. Even though I saw no sign clearly stating “Please. No flash photography”.)
I felt I’d seen enough…and I realized that the guys weren’t coming out of their deer-mannequin positions till I got out of there, so I left.
So, here’s to you, J.D.! Scary and porn….all in one place. It’s JDFABULOUS.
(Giggles) Who knew?