Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Swan Song

Kathryn (Sullenly): “Oh, I can’t believe it’s over…it’s just So. Freakin’. Sad. What’s gonna happen now? It’s the end…..”

Interviewer (Rolls eyes that are suspiciously blue, like Clinton Kelly eyes): “Kathryn, you’re not dying. You’re simply coming off the top ten on the Blogs of Note.”

K: (Sighs) “I know, but it was so exciting! Like, like a surprise party with 20,000 of your closest friends…”

I: “Wow. That’s a lot of gifts….but that means a lot of thank you cards.”

K: “I don’t mind. It’s worth the hand cramps, mangled manicures and losing all the feeling in my butt. Look at all the new blogbuds we’ve met!”

I: “Blog. Bloggggg. Bullllogggg. Who came up with this name? It sounds like someone’s gonna throw up.”

K: “Do you mind? A little respect, please. This is the end of an era! Will anyone still listen to me if I’m not on THE LIST? What if I wake up tomorrow morning and everyone's GONE?”

I: “Um. You think they’ll all trample each other in an effort to get away from you? That’s a little narcissistic, don’t you think?”

K: “No. Paranoid and insecure, maybe…”

I: “Hey. It’s still your place. If you write well, they will comment. You’ll only start losing ‘em if you start to suck.”

K: “What? Oh, great! Now I’m gonna get a horrific case of writer’s block! Thanks a-freakin’-lot! You are TERRIBLE at this job! You are so freakin’ FIRED.”

I: “Huh. And yet, I am not upset by this…maybe because without me, you wouldn’t have had your final swan-song post. It’s the last few hours of being on that list before you drop off into oblivion. Don’t you have something that you’d like to say?”

K: (Calmer) “Uh huh. Thank you, Blogger. Thank you to the best bunch of commenters EVER. I love you all…and I would marry/give birth/be best friends/do the funky chicken with each and every one of you…if only I could.”

I: “Well, now you’re making me tear up---"

K: “I promise to always try and make you laugh and to remember to comment on your own blogs and to hold back your hair when you puke. Or, pat your back...if you're like, a guy.”

I: “Okay…and…moment’s over. Wrap it up, kiddo.”

K: “It’s been a blast. I’m so glad we’ve met. Don’t leave me.”

I: “Well, now you’re bordering on pathetic. Let’s raise our glass to everyone and call it a day. Thanks for the visits folks….and keep ‘em coming. You really don’t want to hear her cry…”

K: “I think I speak for everyone here when I say- - -”

I: “Everyone? Wait. I'm sorry, but it's just you. Kathryn...and, Kathryn. Let's be clear."

K: “My bad. What I meant was, well...there's you (interviewer) and Clinton...and then there's those other voices in my head that we haven't even met- - -"

I: “Seriously. We’re done here. Cheers!”



BlackLOG said...

Kathryn - Don't panic, I found you* without going through Blogs of Note** - others will as well. Good on you for replying to most of your comments - it makes me laugh when bloggers beg for people to comment but don't have the common courtesy to reply.

* You may not consider this a good thing...

** As a UK Blogger I don't like blogs of note - Like your US "World News" ....it sticks to the US, perhaps venturing into the next state on occasions does not make it "World". Does that sound bitter at twisted.... Good.....While I don't expect to become a blogger of note, I would like that little bit of hope that it might just happen. Sadly due to Geography I have more chance of getting that wall to wall home cinema system and you know how unlikely that is.....

emotional diva said...

you are hilarious. =) love your obsession with clinton kelley. =) his blue eyes are eye candy in themselves.

=) do not fret dear soul. i have clicked the "follow" button and added you to my side roll so that anytime you post another entry, it will tell me immediately.

=) cheers & congrats on the blog feat! =)

jmberrygirl said...

I'm not going anywhere. I've got 13 followers on my blog. You're doing something right and I'll be checking back daily to learn more!

f8hasit said...

Ha!
It WAS quite a jump!

I remember the days when you just wanted to have 10 followers...now you've got 531.

That sounds like quite the song. Swan or not!
:-)

ValleyWriter said...

Oh man - you crack me up! I found you on the blogs of note and added you to my google reader. Fear not - your followers will follow!

lifelove'n'wine said...

You're wonderful, no one could ever leave you!

NSGIRL said...

I found you & I'm staying! I'm not letting go of someone who cracks me up like you do!

book*addict said...

I didn't even know you were on the blogs of note. I found you by going into other people's blogs and checking out who they're following. I am following you so you will always appear on my reading list. BTW i could never leave you for two reasons. 1: I have no choice you're too funny, and i love Clinton Kelly too much to not hear about him trough you. ;)
and 2: you actually comment on my blogs. if you haven't noticed you're kinda the only one. So, how can i quit on my own follower.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I'm not leaving you! I need someone to keep me entertained while I'm at work everyday, and quite frankly, Mental Floss only goes so far. :) Thanks for commenting on my blog, btw. I still need more than one follower.

saku chan said...

aw don't say that T.T i like your blogs they are totaly kool and i like all the comments you get you inspire me to write in my blog every day now it's become a everyday thing so don't you quit you hear me *grr* or i will stop following i do this to all my friends it's called a "pep talk" your so good at blogging so don't stop keep at it you have tons of followers who like your stuff and its one of a kind ^^ keep at it and you'll do fine ^^

Alicia said...

Hey don't worry Kathryn, you're still in my top ten. Oh heck, all right, my top five. Ok, maybe no. 2 but that's only because I'm including my own blog, but you're climbing on up there!

Love the blog, have subscribed to it in email so I can sneak off at work when no one is looking to read it. I've saved you as a fav read in my sidebar and I've sent each and every one of your posts since blog of note to everyone on my e-mail list. So see, that probably got you a whole three other readers!!

And plus...I adore Clinton as well :-)

You did good Kathryn, just keep being you and that's all we can ask.

Gillian said...

Aww I'm sure your following will stay strong...you have a brilliant blog. I love coming to visit.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Okay, is it terrible that I don't even know what that list is?? But I love your blog anyway, so that's good, right??
And can I just say you leave some of the best comments! I always enjoy reading them. Thank you!

Spot said...

*Notes in notebook...Kathryn still talking to self and other imaginary people...must keep reading to keep eye on her sanity.*

whew...guess you got me for awhile girl. Unless of course you get all sane and normal on me. Riiiiggght. Like that's gonna happen. =]

Glad I found you through Blogs of Note. Glad we became friends through email. I'm not going anywhere.

♥Spot

Gingerella said...

Anyone who would stop reading your blog just because it's not on some top blog list is pretty shallow and pathetic....you wouldn't want them here anyway (right?).

Heather said...

Well "Blogs of Note" IS how I found you, but you don't have to worry I am a follower now. I think your pretty funny and that doesn't just leave you, your future blogs will be just as good off of "Blogs of Note".

KellyGrrl said...

I love your blog. It cracks me up...

JP said...

Anyone who leaves you... you never really wanted anyways...

Isabella said...

Very funny post today. And remember...you'll still be in the "blog of note" archives forever and ever and ever and ever

I still remember the day I found your blog. It was the first day you were blog of note. In fact that was the day I started my first blog. I will always remember that day because you were one of my first followers. You're so sweet. I can't remember how many followers you had, maybe 150 - 200 or so. Look at you now...it's wonderful.

You go girl! Stop by for a chuckle.

Talk to you soon,
Isabella

Tay said...

I can't even imagine my life if I hadn't discovered you when you were featured as a "Blog of Note"...well that's a lie, but my life would probably involve more hookers, heroin and herpes. So thank you for saving me (I think).

snoble24 said...

funny funny. your lucky your were even on blogs of note id of love to get on that. maybe someday i will never know. maybe you will be on there again never know. im sure people wont just stop checking in though. you amusing

evilteenietiff said...

screw doing the funky chicken, I'd EAT the funky chicken, with some lemon and herbs of course.

Or we could have it as an apricot funky chicken.
Divine!

Don't worry, there is a little link to your blog on mine, so the few people who go to mine just may click on your blog~

I could hold a taser to them if you like.

Zzzzap


zzzzzap~

Kathryn said...

OMG....I can't believe this! I'd just commented back to EVERYONE...and Blogger's having a problem. I lost EVERY COMMENT BACK. GRRRRRRRR! Now I'm gonna have to start copying my comments just in case. Frustrating!!! Okay...onward:

BlackLog: Aw. Thanks so much for the kind words. However did you find me, then? I'd assumed everyone of late came over from BoN. And I wudn't be too quick to assume you can't be BoN...I thought I saw one not that long ago that *looked* to be out of the country. I always comment to ALL my commenters (unless one somehow slips by)...and try to always flw if someone is kind enough to add their bobble-head on my sidebar. And speaking of which, mister....?

emotional diva: Thank you so much! Obsession? With those blue eyes? Whatever gave you that idea?? Honey, he's the loudest voice in my head....I've gotta get it out! Thanks so much for the comment & flw!

jmberrygirl: You'll have more, soon enough! I had 13 foreva....seriously! Just keep writing, flwg and commenting...ppl shud reciprocate.

f8hasit: Hey Nancy! I know! I can't even remember "before" now...I'm too spoiled by the "after"!

ValleyWriter: Thank you for the kind words! I'll try to keep 'em coming...and I'll stop by your place as well.

lifelove'n'wine: Aw, sweetie! I feel the same way about you!

NSGIRL: Well, the feeling is mutual! We'll keep each other laughing...it's the best med, right?

book*addict: I'm so glad. Clinton's a hoot, right? He's been w/me since the beginning...and I'm so glad I have him...and you!

Tinkerschnitzel: HA! You'll get more flwgrs...trust me. It's hard to be patient, but keep visiting the ones you like and commenting-they shud comment back.

saku chan: Thank you sweetie for the kind words....it's just the pep talk I needed.

Alicia: Aw. Thank you so much! Your words are just the ticket to calming my deep-seated need for every single person to STAY with me!

Gillian: You are so sweet! I so appreciate the kind words...I'm glad you're here.

Maureen@IslandRoar: No...it's not terrible that you're not familiar with BoN. It just means you're busy being a great writer and mom of three. I love your blog, too!

Spot! Hey, if I ever stop talking to myself, who would answer me?? The day I go sane will be a very confusing day for me. I'm so used to being cray-zee. Glad to have found you, too my friend.

Gingerella: Thanks, honey. I'm glad you're here and I really appreciate the comments, I really do.

Heather: Thanks, sweetie. I appreciate the kind words. I've flwgd your blog, but STILL CAN'T comment! I honestly don't think it's just me...check those settings, girl!!

KellyGrrl: I'm so glad! 'Cause I looove cracking you up.

Kathryn said...

JP: Aw. I hope you're right, buddy. I love the wonderful conversations and the feedback. Who'd wanna give that up?? Thanks for commenting.

Isabella: What a sweet comment this is! It was totally my pleasure to be your first follower...it means you're on your way! I know how important it all is...the flwgrs, the comments, the kudos. Bottom like is that we may say we write for ourselves, but there's nothing better than having a listening audience! Am I right?

Tay: Wow. I am moved beyond words. Well, almost. I've saved you from prostitution, drugs and STDs? Wow...I didn't realize I was THAT good! Gee...you think I could put THAT on my sidebar???

snoble24: Thanks so much! The odds are against it ever happening again, but that's okay with me...I've got you guys now and you rock!

evilteenietiff! Yes....taser, please....(zzzzzap). What? Too much? They're not really GOOD friends of yours, are they? Otherwise, we'll just zap 'em for a second to help them see the error of their ways. That'll work.
As always, thanks for the comment, sweetie!

BlackLOG said...

I found you through one of your comments on an other Blog, it might have been 'LILU' or 'Que sera sera!'

And I wudn't be too quick to assume you can't be BoN...I thought I saw one not that long ago that *looked* to be out of the country. Probably a US citizen on Holiday...

Now forgive me I'm English and so lost you on "flw" + what is a bobble head and how do you add it?

Kathryn said...

BlackLOG: You're forgiven for being English. (I'm glad I can't hear your accent...I'd probably swoon. But, then again...you don't think you HAVE an accent, do you?) Besides, "bobblehead" is not a real word...it's MY word. (The Merriam-Webster guys would hate me) I didn't see your avatar on my sidebar...but you've suddenly appeared. It's freakin' magic! I shud have magically appeared at your place as well. It's a miracle!! Regardless of how you found me (I think it was Que sera sera!) I'm glad you're here. That's all that matters. Now, where's my drink? Let's toast, mate! ("Mate"? Is that correct?) PS: Are you the guys who drink your beer warm?

that girl said...

i just found you! and i love you! i am not going anywhere! :)

Marissa the Conservative said...

*lifts up glass* wait... I can't drink yet... (shhh) :) Hooray for Kathryn! ( or Ms. Kathryn ; I always feel the need to say that. ] I'll always keep reading your blogs, they're awesome!

p.s. Let me know when we can do the funky chicken. I'm psyched! :D

Kathryn said...

that girl: Why thank you, pretty-eyed person! Now I shall click on your name and come and say "hello". Thanks for the comment! Please stay in touch, 'kay?

Mandarin Kitten said...

And I shall continue reading this marvelous blog! And I will be proud of it yes, PROWWWWWD!!!
And you will still be a Blog of Note in all the eye's of the people who've read this before! A Blog of Note I tell you!

either way, some of those blogs of note i've seen aren't that great, I mighta fell asleep while reading, BORING

Your's on the other hand is very funny and quote above "And I shall continue reading this marvelous blog! And I will be proud of it yes, PROWWWWWD!!!"

That is all...

Kathryn said...

Marissa the Conservative: You wait, girl! There's plenty of time in your life for drinkin'. In the meantime, we'll dance the funky chicken and have ourselves a blast. Thanks for commenting!

Mandarin Kitten: Oh, you are SWEET! You've made me feel all PROUD and IMPORTANT and...and...SPECIAL. We shall have many laughs together! Thanks for the kind words!

Mark Price said...

I'm outta here. Just kidding. I will stay a little longer to see what happens. You're awesome! Keep posting I need some laughs.

Lauren said...

I wish I'd come on earlier today and read this. I could have used the laugh. You're silly... everyone will leave you... Even if that did happen, which is silly, you'd still have the voices in your head right?

Ron said...

No my dear friend...this is only the beginning.

It's like when I use to be an actor in the theater and I would experience that temporary "let down feeling" after the excitement of opening night.

Only to realized that the REAL enjoyment and fun was yet to come.

You now have your audience, Kathryn.

So relax and simply allow yourself to continue to shine.

And enjoy the future!

X ya!

talk before sleep said...

Never fear....your fellow blogger followers aren't going anywhere! You seriously crack me up and I'm new to this site and blogging as well so I'm really excited that I get to go back and read your older post so I can catch up!!!Keep up with the good work!

Laurie said...

I really love your stuff, Kathryn. :) You always make me laugh. I'll be checking in!

BlackLOG said...

Mate is more an Australian term - I can understand the mistake, for some reason when in America we often get accused of being Australian - all very embarrassing trying to explain that my ancestors were not sheep shaggers or bread thieves but megalomaniacal empire builders (in the nicest possible way).

I do honestly believe that I don't have an accent as am always being accused of being from any nation other than England (Plus I'm 1/8 Norwegian, 4/8 Scottish and 3/8 Irish = 100% English - go figure) I think it is my unique ability to speak to foreigners in a loud voice and a funny accent....

Bobblehead - good word - whenever I think I have 'discovered' a new word I find out that it already exists, so I now concentrate on perverting existing words for my own misuse....P.S thanks for bobbling onto the BlackLOG

Warm beer --- I hope our new found friendship is not going to flounder hear. I gave up drinking a week before my 18th Birthday (26 years ago) - (long story involving duty free, missed flights and copious amounts of sick) it's a lifestyle choice, I have no problem with other people drinking as I tend to get high on life. Mrs B would like to share a bottle of wine with me but appreciates having a permanent designated driver....So drink up I'll join you in a milkshake if you don't mind.....

Kathryn said...

Mark Price: HA. Oh, no pressure....you'll stay a little longer to see what happens? Gee. I should be able to handle that....but only because you called me "awesome". We all need more laughs in our lives, right??

Lauren: Riiiight! Only those voices aren't nearly as witty and intelligent as you guys. I mean, really. Thanks for the comment, Princess!

RON! How's one of my favorite guys?
Thank you, sweets...for the kind words. Meeting you has been reward enough...meeting everyone else here has been the gift that keeps on giving. I shall cherish every minute of it!

talk before sleep: Hey! Love your ID name! Thanks so much for the lovely comment! I hope you'll comment often so we can get to know each other better. I think you're off to a great start!

Laurie: Thanks so much. That's lovely to hear. I really appreciate it!

BlackLOG: First and foremost, I promise to never confuse you with an Australian. If "mate" is Australian, and "bud" is here, then what is "friend" in England? (You had me doing fractions in my head with the ?/8ths...but you knew I'd double-check you) HEY. I did NOT bobble over to your place! I sauntered...with dignity...and only a slight lean to the left. No floundering-friendship here...you're my HERO! Not to mention my designated driver...

dm said...

That was hilarious, as usual :) Thanks for the laughs. I'm following your blog, so please don't fret and keep writing.

Chelsea said...

Haha! Your interviews are funny as ever!

Im sure you dont have to worry about anyone going anywhere

Kathryn said...

dm: Thank you! I appreciate the follow...I really do! Now, why don't you activate your profile so I can visit your place? Hmmmm??

Chelsea: Thanks for listening to me rant. Sometimes everyone gets a little insecure....

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