Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Out Loud

I’m still amazed at some of the expressions that take up space in my brain. Or worse yet, the ones that pop out of my mouth.

The other day, I told Connor (12) that I thought we should kill two birds with one stone. Actually, what I said was, “Why don’t we kill two birds….” The horrified look on his face made it difficult to finish, but I couldn’t just leave him hanging. Why did I suddenly feel like I was channeling the spirit of my great-grandmother?

I tried to explain that it was an expression…like don’t beat a dead horse….or I’ll eat my hat.

Now, he was looking at me like I had two heads…and I knew then that I was flying by the seat of my pants.

Connor said, “You are so hinky, Mom.”

I flew off the handle and said, “What? I most certainly am NOT hinky. Or did you say I’m kinky? Because I most certainly am NOT…”

C: “No, Mom. Hinky…”

K: “Use it in a sentence.”

C: “I just DID. You are so hinky. It means there’s something seriously wrong with you.”

K: “Nuh-uh….I’m just fine and dandy. YOU’RE THE ONE WHO’S CRUISIN’ FOR A BRUISIN’.”

C: “Seriously? Lower-case voice, Mom.”

K: “That is SO not an expression. Are you kidding me? You are SUCH a one-upper.”

C: “Do you even know what that means?”

K: “YES. NO…well, I think so. Isn’t it when you’re always trying to out-do someone?”

C: “Whatever.”

Author’s note: Most hilarious new expression in The Urban Dictionary:
“When someone accidentally farts and is embarrassed, you should, if you have one ready, let one fly as well. This is a courtesy fart. This is an opportune time for you to release, since then the two fart smells intertwine, no one will discover how unbelievably nasty your fart is....or who let loose the most offending one.”

Now it’s your turn. What’s your favorite new/old expression? Bring it!

BlackLOG said...

Before letting you know my favourite expression I should let you know that the 'courtesy fart' holds no truck in our household. Mainly because Mrs B claims to have had a 'fartectomy' - (if she has, I think she should claim a refund). So any attempt to freeload off one of hers sees me getting the blame for both. Doubly whammy - Blaming the cats is no good as they get their revenge later, curling up to sleep on my trousers, hiding my keys in the fridge (don't ask) etc...

My favourite expression is a get out of jail one - you can say the worst thing in the world and as the shocked expressions start to appear around you and you face the prospect of being ostracised by polite society for at least three life times, all you have to do is add "Harsh, but fair" - you are home and dry...... the fact that a number of ex acquaintances, are ... well ex.... is testament to their lack of knowledge in this area and has nothing to do with me....

Chrissie said...

My friend always says "Not just a hat rack my friend" whilst tapping her head, after having said something smart. It was quite amusing though, because the first time she said it was over the phone, and I had no idea what she was on about, because I couldn't see her tapping her head, and I hadn't heard the saying before.

My dad likes to use the saying "You should have told em they were dreaming" whenever I bring home a new purchase and tell him how much it cost.

I'm currently at a blank for my favourite expression. But my own motto that has sort of developed this year is "I'll deal" or "you'll deal" or "they'll deal" depending on the situation.

Lou said...

A courtesy fart? Freakin' great idea!

My favourite expression is 'que será será', whatever will be will be - there's no point worrying.

BlackLOG said...

I would also like to point out that the fact that I have managed to be the first to comment on your last three postings is a quirk of nature, I just happen to drop in shortly after you unleash....So let's down those rumours that I am living in the basement.

P.S. could you keep it down up there some of us are trying to sleep down here. Remember slipper might not be sexy but they don't make as much noise as 12" killer heels....

Lou said...

@Chrissie - your dad sounds like a fan of the Australian movie 'The Castle'. I think that's where that expression comes from.

Rambles'N'Shambles said...

Duh, 1920's slang

THe Bee's Knee's, The Cat;s Pajamas, Jake!


wish I lived in that era! XD

it'd be so shandy dandy, we would go to an awesome shin dig, I hear the people there are the cat's pajamas! But my mum told me I had to bring my little sister, she can be such a wet blanket, ah well it's all Jake, we'll ditch my sister at the party then it'd be the cat's Pajamas for us!

Oh yeah!

Rambles'N'Shambles said...

oh and @Lou,

"It's Going in the Pool Room."

Lauren said...

I have a number of favourite expressions though many of them come from my boss. Yeah... I practically live at work. Anywho "I put my glasses on and...", is used when I'm going to have to scour the kitchen top to bottom. Likewise, "Lauren, I miss you," means that she wants me to do something for her or come in to work to do something for her. My other boss likes to use "Sucks bananas"... apparently it sounds funnier in Chinese. I don't think that's the reason... hehe.

Unknown said...

Favourite expression eh? Hmmm...

I guess I'd have to say "It takes a big dog to weight a ton..."

This one gets used when someone asks me "What are you thinking about?"

I tend to lose myself into my brain fairly often, resulting in a glazed, far away look. (lol) People will notice and ask me where I went or what I was thinking about. If I don't actually want to tell them I was picturing them naked, for example... I will bust out the big dog phrase.

I'm sure I will think of more once I hit the post button but this is all that comes to me right away. Of course... it's 5:30 in the morning, what do you expect? ;o)

Keep up the great work Kathryn, your blog is my favourite on here so far!

Unknown said...

My favorite expression is actually like a misheard lyric. My mother, who is from Ireland, sometimes messed up idioms when we were growing up. The best example, which I still laugh about today, was "What does that have to do with the price of eggs in China?"
Eggs. Not tea. Eggs.
NO idea where she got that one. Sadly enough, it took me until high school to get that one straightened out!
Good memories!

JD at I Do Things said...

"Lower-case voice" = HA! If that isn't already an expression, I'm making it one.

The idea of a "courtesy fart" is all well and good, but WHEN do you ever "have one ready" on demand like that? It's not like throwing up, where, when one person throws up, everyone does. It just doesn't work that way.

Unknown said...

Favorite expression: "Hakunah Matata" probably spelled incorrectly, but the idea is "No worries." From Disney's "The Lion King." It is sort of our motto, and the thing that gets us smiling even on the worst of days.

Tea said...

A 40 year old family member says, "Ok, we're loaded for bear", which means we're ready for anything. He said this at work and the 20 somethings looked at him like he was crazy! Those young whippersnappers.

Loredana said...

"A bird in the hand is worth 2 in the bush"

Never got it, was explained to me, still never got it and it just sounds rediculous! I don't want any of my hands in the bush! :-p

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

I love hitting my kids with old expressions; I don't want them to die out! Some soon won't make any sense. I like "putting the cart before the horse;" "Look what the cat dragged in;" and my grandma's fave: "Don't bring me posies when it's shoesies that I need."
Not really digging the "courtesy farts..."

Junk Drawer Kathy said...

I know it's not an expression really, but right now I'm enjoying "dumbass." It has such a nice ring to it and it's not really cursing. "Hinky" sounds very weird to me. I do love "lower case voice," though, as well as "courtesy fart." I would imagine much harder to achieve than a courtesy burp.

diane rene said...

hmm ... my husband and his poker friends must have created the courtesy fart because they ALL have one handy at any given time - one farts, they all chime in. it does not take a newcomer long to figure out why the host wife has candles burning throughout the house :)

my favorite saying actually is the punch line from a "blonde" joke ... a blond calls up the fire department frantic that her house has caught fire, "please, come quickly, my house is on fire!!"

the dispatcher says, "lady, please calm down. we will be there as quickly as we can, we just need to know how to get to your house."

the blonde stops for a moment and then replies "duh, big red truck!"

so whenever something is totally obvious in our house, to everyone but the person questioning, "duh, big red truck" pops out of someone's mouth.

of course, bite me and jackhole are also my favorite, go-to phrases ;)

LOVE your blog, btw

Betsy said...

Imagine someone trying to learn english as their second language trying to make sense of some of those old!

I'm particularly fond of: "How do you like them apples" as a way of saying, HA HA or I told you so...

J9 said...

"Wash and Set", or "Bread and Butter"

Shawn said...

Excellent! I laughed so hard I cried. Thanks so much!

My favorite saying is something my Grammy used to say.. When someone says So.. and pauses, she would always say "Sew buttons on your other brtches" meaning get to the point!

I really have many of the same sayings swimming around in my noggin as you do!

Enjoy your day!

Indiri Wood said...

I work in a predominately male workplace and the first time I heard someone explain "crop dusting" I almost put coffee through my nose.

(Passing gas in a stealth manor, usually while walking through a crowd or a group, so that someone else gets blamed for the stench, or at the very least people besides the assailant must suffer it.)

They do this a lot.

Anonymous said...

Haha...amusing conversation there. I don't really use old expressions like that a lot but whenever I say 'whatever trips your trigger' I got odd looks if I'm talking to anyone under 20. Haha. Sorry I haven't commented in a few days. Been kinda bleh for me. I think its all the rain, it's very depressing. xD

Ron said...

OH DEAR GOD...I have to remember courtesy fart for the furture. I work with someone who would REALLY apprecitate that!

* so I better start storing mine up! of my favorite sayings is...

"Look to how someone treats someone else, to find out how they will treat you."

I found that to be very true.

Learned it from my mother's grandmother.

And when I was a kid, the big saying was, "Gross me're nothing but a SCAG!"


Have a great day you HINKY woman, you!


Heather said...

Here lately I found myself saying "I'll leave that to the youngsters" in reference to anything that 20 somethings or younger, do that 50 yr olds don't or can't do anymore. Like stay up all night or crawl under the truck to change the oil.

Hubby enjoys the phrase from the Honeymooners "One of these days, Alice! Pow, zoom , to the moon" Which totally cracks me up cause he even has is fist balled up and waving it. I bust out laughing everytime. AS IF!

Mark Price said...

I guess the one I use the most is "yeah, and maybe a monkey will fly outta my ass eating a cheese sandwich". Not sure where it came from, but it works when someone predicts something way unlikely to happen. Like a balanced budget,or my youth returning.

that girl said...

LMAO! Love the courtesy fart!

If someone is on a trash talking spree, a friend of mine always says, "We're like stone washed jeans, we can't be faded"...

Lynn said...

The only ones I can think of now are "higgledy pigglety" for when things are in a muddle or "ticketty boo" when things are going along smooth as silk!

Just found your blog yesterday--lovin' it! Waiting for a good time to take a gander at you archives.


Amy said...

I once hand made a birthday card for my mom featuring her school picture (she's a teacher) and conversation bubbles populated with some of her more ridiculous expressions, like "this place is going gangbusters," "the gravy train stops here," and "pack it up and ship it out."

Now I feel like calling her...

nashashibi said...

In arabic language you might find the strangest expressions when translated as is to english such as :

you are on my head : means that I respect you
I die in you : means I love you so much

but we use " lets hit 2 birds with one stone " instead of killing

All around Mom said...

My Fav is Can't teach an Old Dog new Tricks! I tell my BF that alot!! He just laughs and proves me wrong, but I still like it.

Chrissie said...

Lou, yeah, my dad is always saying "what do you call this" when we have dinner.

I love a couple of sayings from the movie Ferris Bueller's day off:

"He's so tight, if you stuck a lump of coal up his arse, in a week, you'd have a diamond."

"A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself."

I apologise for simply quoting a movie. I suppose I'm not old enough to know too many decent expressions.

Straight Guy said...

I don't know, in crowded places that courtesy fart option could trigger a domino effect that would be more than tragic.

kathryn said...

BlackLOG: How did the cats get your keys into the fridge?? (HEY. If you didn't want me to ask, you shouldn't have offered up the info. Fair game, bud.), basically you just say whatever the hell you want...and finish with "Harsh, but fair..." and all should be forgiven? Who made up this (ahem) interesting rule? You??
And that whole "ex" thing didn't cause you to re-think it? Seriously?
(Can't wait for this response...this oughta be good)

Chrissie: I LOVE IT! that hat rack expression is fabulous...and I love that you first heard it over the phone! I wud've been lost on what it meant as well. Yes, I've been known to say "deal" when someone is bitching at me. It's a good one! Thanks for the comment!

Hey Lou! Good one...and so very wise and laid-back of you! Don't you find it hard sometimes to just let things happen? I tend to want to help it the direction that I want it to go, of course....

BlackLOG: Ahem. Uh-huh....I've seen those Hostess-cupcake wrappers stashed under the pool table down there. Taylor swears they're not his. 12" heels would KILL anyone! I do, however, own many many pairs of 4". Maybe that's what you keep hearing...

evilteenietiff: And how is it, my dear...that someone so young knows about language that is so...old?? Are you a fan of the swinging 20's?
What an amazing gal you are...I'm learning more about you every comment!

Lauren: Okay, I don't know ANY of those expressions! Altho, the "glasses" one would make me groan inside, 'cause I'd know I'd have to go looking for something. the "miss you" one would piss me off and make me wanna say, "Well, I don't miss YOU." I don't know WHAT to do w/the "sucks bananas" one...but several ideas come to mind!

Picture Imperfect: HA! I totally get the "far-away look"....totally understand the "picturing 'em naked"...but "dogs"? "Weighing a ton"? Does this mean your thoughts are like, heavy man....? Thanks so much for the sweet comment...esp so early in the mornin'!

JD: Well, now you owe me for a new computer monitor. I was snickering at your comment, till I got to the part about courtesy VOMITING...then, I lost it. (Connor kindly requests I keep it down) Actually, I do believe that "Upper Case Voice" is in the Urban Dictionary, so you may do what you will with "lower-case". Unless it's a given. Well, what about "pull my finger"? Doesn't that require having a fart in the chamber???

jmberrygirl: Oh, yes! Thank God for Disney....and we get the added bonus of being able to SING it. What's not to love?

Isabella: I don't know that one, either. Have I been living under a rock? Or, do you have to live in the Rockies to know this one? I have a mental image of my grandfather with a shotgun in his hand...wearing overalls...and a big grin. Sound about right?

Loredana: I'm with you! We'll just put that expression away...along with the shooting of the two birds...WTH? Such barbaric expressions! Thanks for commenting!

Hey Maureen! Ha! I'm not even gonna tell you the thought that went thru my head in the split second that I read the first few words of your comment "I love hitting my kids...."! I'm like, "What? NO! Seriously?" That "posies/shoesies" is a new one for me...or should I say an old/new one....OK. No courtesy farts for you.

Junk Drawer Kathy: Yeah...I agree. I'm loving "dumbass"'s not really cursing but still has a nice opinionated ring to it. The courtesy burp would probably result in the courtesy vomit. Figures that you and JD would think alike.

kathryn said...

diane rene: Oh, that's wonderful! I'm def. gonna remember that "Duh, big red truck!" CLASSIC. You've reminded me of my extended fam driving in separate cars to The Cape. Tay's friend was w/us and we knew we were WAY ahead of everyone else. Chris texted my sister the exit# we'd just passed. We heard the chime and then Chris said, "Well, THAT'S not very nice!" I said, "What did she say?" The screen said "BITE ME." I don't think Chris ever got over that...and I almost drove off the road! Thanks for the comment and sweet compliment!

Gingerella: I if our "slang" isn't confusing enough! I wish I had the time to see the origins of some of these....I mean, what does apples have to do with "I told you so"?

J9: Hmmm. Sounds like grandma sayings. Am I right? No straightening irons in sight. Thanks for commenting.

Shawn: Oh, I love it! She sounds adorable...and impatient! I'll bet after a while, ppl got to the point with I right??

Sara! OMG! That is hilarious! And really, really GROSS. I swear...only MEN can think of this stuff. (We women never release any noxious odors whatsoever...)

Insanity! Glad to hear from you...I'd wondered where you were. "Trips your trigger"? I like that! Like, "whatever floats your boat", right? I agree...rain IS depressing.

RON! So, your great-grandmother was a very wise woman. More ppl should think about that one. That reminds me of the old adage to look at the way a boys treats his mother to know how he'd treat his wife. I think there's truth in there. Thanks for the comment, you SCAG! Love, Hinky-woman

kathryn said...

Heather: Oh, I looove the Honeymooner's sons have NO CLUE what I'm talking about when I say it, though. Sweetie, you have GOT to fix that problem on your site! Isn't it driving you crazy that ppl can't comment? And there's no link for your email on your profile, so there's no way to reach you. It's so frustrating!!!

kathryn said...

Mark Price: Ha! That's quite an...interesting....response! I hope you think twice before using that in a business meeting when the boss is throwing projections around!

that girl: Oh, I like that! (Looks around) Where ARE my stone washed jeans?? They also had "restless lip syndrome" for the person that keeps interrupting. Funny, right?

Allegria: Welcome! I'm glad you're here! Those sayings remind me of Winnie-the-Pooh (whom I adore). Thanks for the comment!

Amy: Oh, call your mom! What a sweet idea that card was! My mom used to say, "Well, it just didn't get up and walk away..." I only wish I could call her. I miss her.

nashashibi: Wow! How interesting! I can see the "You are on my head" "you are on my mind". the "I die in you" could get you in a lot of trouble if misinterpreted! Thanks for the comment!

kathryn said...

ValleyWriter: Sorry....somehow you slipped through my radar. "Eggs in China"! That's so cute! Somehow, it got stuck in her head and probably made perfect sense to her. I mean, I'm SURE they had eggs in China...right? Thanks for the comment!

kathryn said...

All around Mom: Well, BF laughs 'cause you're not old...much less a dog! That's how you can get away with it!

Chrissie: Don't apologize! The whole point was to talk about the expressions that make us think, remember or laugh. You've managed all three!

MousaAbuAsal: Thank you! I appreciate the comment!

Hey Straight Guy! HA. Yeah, like in an elevator. Or a small conference room. Or the restroom.

Spot said...

I love "oh my stars!" instead of "oh my god!" both my sister and my daughter started saying this at the same time even though they live three states apart. My grandma used to say the "how do you like them apples?" all the time.

At my house I have a habit of saying "takes one to know one" when my kids call each other a name. My daughter came up with the response "takes one to make one". This has given us some good giggles. Okay, yes there's something seriously wrong with us.

Loved the post,

Anonymous said...

Where to start?

I brought you into this world and will take you out.

I don't care who started it I'm ending it.

It goes on and on. But if I attempt to try to say something hip, like "we'll keep this on the down low". I get laughter.

But I am confident in my coolness and don't need their affirmation (much).

Anonymous said...

Oh yes, the one that illicits eye rolls from all of us is when my husband announces his intention to visit the bathroom by saying, "Dropping the Cosby kids at the pool".

BlackLOG said...

Keys in the Fridge -

now I don't remember putting them in there, Mrs B denies it and the cats are taking the 5th and saying nothing. Now in my book taking the 5th is as good as a confession, Harsh, but fair…..

As for the rule, I’m pleading the 5th. I forgot you Americans are so literal, I remember being on a boating holiday in Turkey (despite the fridge incident I do have the odd moments of recall). There was an American girl on the boat, who after a week of my wisecracks decided to get her own back. She was into alternative healing and offered me a foot massage. Sounds nice and relaxing…..Would have been nice if she had taken her shoes off*…..Yes her idea of a foot massage was to walk all over me…Mrs B thought it was hilarious, no defending her man Not sure I have ever recovered

* Please note this statement was for artistic affect, she did take off her shoes but could have done with dropping a few pounds ….Harsh, but fair….to misquote the lyrics of the late great Kirsty Maccoll “In those shoes, I don’t think so….”

Back to those 12” killer heels, have you been wearing 3 pairs at a time or have I misjudged your weight……Harsh, but fair….hang on a second, you haven’t spent a week on a boat on the Turkish Coast????

Jen said...

I find myself saying such things as "fab" or "wanker" some days harkening back to my days living in London. I'm sure there are others that creep in but I've only had half a cup of coffee so far this morning. You may need to read through the Urban Dictionary so you can keep up with your kids. So scary.

jh said...

Have you seen that email all about pooping? I loved "Turd Burglar", it's when you in the stall at work & someone is trying to open the door. Fantastic post & loved reading the comments too. I especially loved the old fashioned sayings & people's contagious joy from remembering their relatives.

Momiji chan said...

haha yea i'v got some "like yea ok huh-uh sure" that's when i don't believe something someone say's and there's "oh my gosh i want that i want's really bad" that's when i see something i really want at a anime convention or on the internet haha yea i have tons more you inspired me to blog about it later ^^

BLANK said...

Grr, I cannot think of any when I am asked to think of one!!
Maybe when I am most vulnerable to remember one, I will forget to write it down and need to think twice as hard >.<

Did that make any sense?

JP said...

My mom is from Ireland so she always had a bunch of sayings...

"Ah a man on a galloping horse would never notice..."

"Well that's better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick..."

She was full of 'em...

Carol Byron said...

My favorite saying is pretty lame, which doesn't stop me from using it ad infinitum. The saying is, "You never know."
The ones I like to hear are backwoodsy stuff using animal parts, as in, "He ain't no smarter'n a moose in rut" or something like that.
This was one of the funnier ones. Thanks Katherine.

kathryn said...

Spot: HA! "Oh my stars" sounds like an expression from another era! I've recently found myself saying, "Pot, kettle (insert person's name here)" as in The Pot Calling the Kettle Black? Remember that one?? Thanks!

Fumbling confidence: Oh, I love those! I know...we are definitely not appreciated for our coolness. Don't they know who we are??
PS: OHMYGOD! I have NEVER heard that "Cosby" expression?!?

BlackLog:HEY. We Americans are NOT literal. We just listen better than you do.
Ahem. It sounds to me like you may have *deserved* being walked on. Be grateful she wasn't wearing stilettos while she stomped around on your back! misjudge on the weight. Each pair of shoes has 4" heels...registered in NY State as lethal weapons, article#1234saygoodnitegracie.

Jen! I couldn't keep up w/the Urban Dictionary! It's too much! It's also hilarious...the things ppl decide are noteworthy!

JH: Aw, thanks sweetie! Turd email? Why are we talking about pooping again??

saku chan: HA! And I say those as well! I STILL say "I want THAT." Maybe that's part of being a girl...

Mandarin Kitten: Yes, that made perfect sense. You'll remember as you're falling's always when you least expect it!

JP: HA! I've heard the poke in the eye one...but not the galloping horse one. Too funny!

Carol Byron: What a riot! Do you look all serious...& make your eyes really big...pause...and then say ominously, "You never know"? That's how I'm picturing it.

Sandi said...

My favorite saying is one my Step-Dad used to say to me all the time "Stop being so thin skinned" stop letting things get to you. I had forgot about this saying until just recently when my youngest had a bad day of being picked on by his older siblings. He was crying for maybe the 100th time that day and the saying came out of my mouth and shocked me. So that is my new saying everytime he cryes over something silly.

kathryn said...

Sandi: Isn't it interesting how it always comes full circle? Even if we didn't get it then....I worry myself at times about being too "thin-skinned"....Thanks for the comment!

Kaitlin said...

I'd have to agree with the "Oh my stars!" My favorite high school English teacher said that all the time, and it stuck with all her students.

Also, "Sweet nibblets!"... which I may or may not have picked up from "Hannah Montana"...

Can't wait to embarrass my future children with that one! haha.

kathryn said...

Oh, honey...this is only the beginning. YOUR kids will spend more time rolling their eyes and feeling sorry for YOU than feeling embarrassed for themselves! At least, that's been MY lovely experience! Thanks for commenting!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Well, the expression my Dad practically lives by is "Happy wife, happy life". We always have a good laugh over that one while Mom delivers one of her famous sarcastic replies that only make us laugh even harder. (In my family, sarcasm is a necessity.)
Plus, I only look at my Mom like she has two heads when she tells me we have to clean the house.

kathryn said...

Oddyoddyo13: Wow. Your dad sounds pretty agreeable to me! I like his thinking! maybe he'll pass the sentiment onto you!

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