What I've Learned Since Becoming A Grown-up
- There are no do-overs in real life. If you screw something up, plan on getting it right the next time…’cause the mistake is now indelibly woven into your past….like an unwanted file on your hard drive that you can’t delete.
- Life is rarely fair. It does not seem to be accountable for anything….it just is. You can call it stubborn, unreasonable and masochistic and I can pretty much guarantee that it won’t care.
- It’s funny the first time…it’s never as funny after that.
- Almost all medication takes approximately 45 minutes to kick in. Till then, pace yourself…or plan on being in hell.
- You will not be aware that your tail light is out until the officer pulling you over informs you of this.
- “Ironic” is just another way of saying “tough break”.
- Your car will only be low on gas when you’re late for something.
- There’s nothing scarier than the waking moment you realize you forgot to set your alarm clock.
- The smell of fresh popcorn will make your mouth water even if you’re not hungry.
- You don’t have to be good at everything. The trick is to surround yourself with some people who are just like you, some people who can pick up where you leave off and some people who just plain make you happy.
We all have ‘em. Those certain things that just annoy… distract or in some cases, crawl right underneath your skin.
Most people have at least a few of them and although relationships aren’t usually made or broken by them, it’s an indication of a winning union if you can manage to respect and abide by your significant others' peeves.
I feel my IV preparing to chime in:
Clinton Kelly: “Why would you think that? Why do you equate my chiming in with pet peeves? I don’t think I like where this is going….”
Kathryn: “Oh, relax. How bad can it be? It’s not like you’re gonna be caught at a party in your undies. It’s just sharing a few pet peeves to potentially tens of thousands of people. What’s the big deal?”
CK: (Deadpan) “Just when I think you can’t surprise me, another one hits the fan.”
K: “What? Is that a poop reference?” (Sniffs indignantly) “I won’t justify that with a response. Who’s going first here? You or me?”
CK: (Sits back) “You’re on your own, sistah.”
K: “Okay. I’ll go first. I can’t stand dirty dishes in the sink. It takes just as much effort to leave ‘em in the sink as it takes to put them in the dishwasher. Now, you go.”
CK: “People who insist that I take part in irrelevant surveys for their own personal gain.”
K: “Huh. Now me. People who add things to the grocery list right after I get home from the market. Trying to fit an over-zealous tweet into 140 characters or less, which is practically impossible. When a call goes to voicemail and my cell didn’t even ring. Did I mention the dirty dishes in the sink? ‘Cause it bears repeating…Now you.”
CK: “People who persist in pestering me to answer immaterial evaluations.”
K: “Oh, c’mon…that’s the same answer you gave before!. You just used different words. What the hell?”
CK: (Smiles) “Nothing gets by you. Are we done here? I’ve got a plane to catch.”
K: “Again?? Wait! I haven’t mentioned how I feel about the phone ringing just as I sit down to eat….”
(Okay, readers...now it's your turn. What are some of your pet peeves? Bring it on!)