Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Hold the Gallbladder

The times…they are a-changing.

Kentucky Fried Chicken

is now Kentucky Grilled Chicken.

Somehow, “KGC” does not roll off the tongue as well as “KFC”. As for the change in taste? I haven’t a clue.

We’ve gone from handwritten notes…to emails…to text messages...and have settled on Tweets. I’ve had a handwritten card from my aunt on my dresser for three months now. I’m trying to remember where I put the one box of stationary that I own. I’m also wondering if I can get away with typing a note and folding it inside a card that says “Please Get Well Soon!” on the cover….with an illustration of a guy with a needle sticking out of his butt:

Okay, so maybe not.

You always know who is calling you before you pick up. The name of the caller is everywhere…on the phone…on the teevee screen if you happen to have it on when a call comes through…and you can’t buy a phone anymore that doesn’t automatically come with an answering machine…which you really don’t need because you’ve got voicemail that came with your cable. So, you’ve got back-up voicemail for the voicemail.

Call-forwarding means you should technically never miss a call…and between the forwarding... and the phone machine...and the ID...and the backup voicemail, people tend to get a little snippy if they can’t reach you.

That’s when they send you a message on Twitter.

The VHS has given way to the DVD, which has melded into either the digital DV-R, or Blue-ray. No more cassettes, no more floppy disks…LED lights are replacing traditional light bulbs and students are using a sharpie/highlighter with built-in white-out and sticky point-to-it-notes for major emphasis.

Calculators are built into the cell phones that kids as young as eight carry and it’ll even figure out the tip. (‘Cause 20% is just toooo hard.) The cell phone industry is thriving, thanks to divorced moms and dads that want to reach their kids anytime, anywhere.

Now, I do believe I’ve seen it all:

“Um. I’ll take a ‘Package 2’, but hold the gallbladder and replace it with the ‘B’ Stroke Scan?”

Uh, yeah...that’ll be “to go”…..

Ron said...

OH DEAR GOD...where the heck did you find that??? A medical package deal?!?!? TOOO FUNNY! I think I'll take #3!


Ya know, I was just thinking about what you shared on this post and it truly amazes me how far we've come with technology. Now, some of it I really enjoy (such as caller ID), but you're has taken the "personal touch" out of communication. OMG...I can't even remember the last time I actually sat down and WROTE a letter. Like, maybe 10 years ago!? And I use to be a HUGE letter writer (stationary with sealing wax), but now it's all about emails.

And thanks for mentioning the grilled KFC, I need to try that!


Bobby Allan said...

KGC. Sounds like KGB. I have to admit, I just got a new phone and it does calculate the tip. But that's only when service is less than stellar and I only want to give 15%. Carry the one....

Lou said...

Your technology leaves mine for dust - call ID on teevee?? I have no idea even what that is.

Susan F said...

You are way more up to date on technology than I am. I can't figure half this stuff out!

Jen said...

Great post again! It has become crazy all the technology. Everything has to be done now. I still write letters and actually utilize the postal system. There is nothing better than receiving a hand written note. I just have to remind myself of that.

kathryn said...

Ron: Wow....sealing wax and everything? Didn't that require extra postage? I wonder if the US postal service would even allow that through these days. Ya think?
I found the Scan page tucked into our local paper. The killer? It's being held at the Mercury Grand Hotel! "Um...can I get room service if I throw in "F"...the pancreas scan?"
Keep me posted on the KGC.
Thanks for commenting!

kathryn said...

Oh,'re too funny. I love the KGB comparison on the KGC...maybe THAT'S why it's not catching on. (Divide by 2....)
Lou: It's nothing to celebrate, believe me. You're engrossed in your 1-hour of evening teevee and the bottom half of the screen is covered with what looks like a public service announcement. Name, telephone #, time, date, what they're wearing (okay, so maybe not). THEN the phone starts to ring. It's creepy...and came out of nowhere.
Susan F: Sure you can! Just don't forget to "unforward" your calls, or you'll wonder why it's so quiet back at the house. Wait! Hmmmmm....
Jen: Thanks. You don't pay your bills online? Utilize email, FB, texts and Twitter? I leave a phone message for someone and then email 'em and they'll respond via email and blow off returning the call. I'm surprised if a square, colored envelope is mixed in with my bills from the mailbox. I'll wonder, "What could THAT be??"

jh said...

Those are really good prices.

f8hasit said...

But can you imagine life without all the gadgets we are so used to?

I think I could...
...for a short time only.
Life without e-mail? or caller ID? or internet? or blogs?

Oh God no.

kathryn said...

JH: Doing a little comparison shopping on a Deep Leg Vein scan? Geez. How many impulse shoppers do you think they'll get at that hotel?
f8hasit: Nope. I can't do w/o any of it. I happen to love technology! I DO feel, however, that we may need to change the old-standy greeting of "hello?" for something a little more...modern. But, that's a post for another day.

Straight Guy said...

You're missing the connection. Just send your aunt a pancreas scan. Nothing says "I love you" like healthy pancreas.

But anyone who charges more than 50 bucks to say "that is one kick-ass pancreas!" is ripping you off. I charge $45.


kathryn said...

Dear Straight Pancreas: What an excellent idea! It did NOT occur to me to offer these bizarre medical packages as gifts of love and caring! This beats out the gasoline gift card by a mile. I wonder why their PR people didn't think to convey this brilliant idea in their brochure? I'm glad at least *you're* honest and upright with your scans. Too many ppl take a healthy pancreas for granted.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, my god.

First of all, I'm hungry for some extra-crispy KFC NOT KGC, which, I agree sounds less than delicious. Oh, and those mashed potatoes. And gravy. And biscuits. Dang. I didn't eat lunch today.

Then I guess I'll sign up for a stomach scan to make sure . . . wait, there's no stomach scan? OK, I'll take a liver scan. Maybe I can talk the tech guy into throwing in my stomach for an extra hundred.

kathryn said...

JD: You forgot the cole slaw. I loooove KFC's cole slaw. Do you think KGC will have good cole slaw. Dammit, now I want cole slaw.
I'm sure if you bat your eyes, he'll throw in the stomach scan. But tell him he should match Straight Pancreas' $'s the least he can do.

flit said...

tried the KGC - tiny, but not bad - and definitely better for my diet than the REAL KFC.

BUT no point to liking it here cuz most of our KFCs can't even manage to keep up with the regular chicken....usually make you wait 12 minutes or whatever while they make it. And last time I tried to order grilled, they were "all out; sorry".

Don't know why they bother to put it on the menu if they're not going to have any.

kathryn said...

flit: Welcome! I see your point. Is the prob that it's a really *busy* KFC,(KGC), whatever...or in a remote location? Either way, "all out" should not be part of their vocabulary. Sounds like they're on the way out.
Could you ask if they have any cole slaw??

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