Sometimes, I can pull together an impromptu get-together flawlessly.
Okay, that’s a lie. I can never pull together anything flawlessly.
Especially not an impromptu get together that involves food. That I have to prepare. Myself.
It was a busy, busy day. It just was….with a little of everything mixed in.
Somehow, I managed to make it to 4pm and I’d forgotten to eat. Again.
Okay, it happens….sometimes. I kinda, sorta…just forget to eat.
(Somewhere, I can hear JD’s red pen tapping impatiently on the desk. She’s thinking, “A point? Does. She. Have. A. Point?)
Why, yes. Yes, I do. I’ve learned that having wine on a completely empty stomach makes you really, really buzzed. It can also make you work magic!
By the end of my first glass of Cloudy, I’d finished wiping down powder rooms and lighting candles on the mantle.
By the time the doorbell rang, I was a lean, mean, buzzed-out machine. I immediately offered everyone alcohol, remarking on its magical abilities.
“What do you have?” I’m asked.
“What don’t I have?” is my answer.
Gin & Tonic? Martini? (Gin or vodka) Margarita? White wine? Red Wine? Mudslide? Bourbon?
Too many choices. They’re left by the liquor cabinet to find a beverage of choice. I’m busy being Wonderwoman!
Second glass of Cloudy and I’m:
- Setting out cheese & crackers
- Preparing the rub for the salmon
- Steaming the broccoli
- Making the rice
- Pan heating that can’t-live-without-it Voila (Exclamation Point!) all-in-one skillet meal for the underlings.
- Slicing 2 different kinds of bread
- Baking 2 dozen chocolate chip cookies for dessert.
"Why?" Why not! I'm not thinking....I'm just doing! I can't think about it...if I do, I'll suddenly remember that I don't know how to cook!!
Oh, and checking every 2.1 seconds to make sure no-one’s left Metro-the-wonderdog unsupervised anywhere near any food product whatsoever. Metro has been known to eat everything from dropped frozen peas, to dropped cantaloupe, to dropped uncooked macaroni. Emphasis on the word “dropped”. Picky, he’s not. Sneaky, he IS.
He checks right....anybody see me? He checks left.....still clear....I'm golden!
Crap. I'm so BUSTED.
Somehow, I pulled it off. Looking back, it didn’t even feel like me. Today, I’ve learned that sometimes….I’m BUI.
That’s Better Under the Influence.