So, I’ve been meaning to try this stuff I bought the other day for my keyboard. See, lately when I press the tab key, sometimes I WIND UP TALKING LIKE THIS till I realize that the caps lock key is on. Needless to say, I’m shouting at people A LOT. Which is not always good for business. Sometimes, I get a goofy Japanese-looking symbol as well, which I can’t seem to replicate to save my life, now that I want it here. * It announces "Do not use on camera mirrors" in the instructions for use. What's a camera mirror? It then proclaims (on the side of the can) “Computers, electronics, automobile, cameras, crafts.” At this point, in my infinite 20/20 hindsight, I realize it does not use the word “perfect for”, or “can be used on”…it just lists these 5 words. Pretty devious marketing, eh? But, I’m getting ahead of myself.
The stuff is called Perfect Duster…and it will evidently “Remove Harmful Dust, Dirt & Lint”.
There are four photos next to these prophetic words:
Somehow, probably based on my having not eaten food yet that day, I somehow mistook the computer monitor to mean that it would dust away perfectly all the grime, gunk and food particles that I’m sure have (somehow) found their way into the inner workings of my keyboard.
This afternoon, I decided it was time to DEGUNK.
There was a whole SLEW of RED WRITING all over the back of the can, so I insisted that the boys and I read EVERY SINGLE WORD:
DO NOT shake or tilt can before or during usage. Use in upright position. (This caused both boys to violently grab the can from my hands as I was holding it at an angle towards the kitchen window so as better to read the print that was smaller than this.)
DO NOT use near a potential ignition source or on paper shredders. (We all said in unison, “WHAT?” I still have no idea what possessed these danger-warning-people to feel the need to add paper shredder to its danger-zone list, but I’m sure they have an excellent reason. I’ll bet you $100, though, that it was a GUY's bright idea to try it out.)
DO NOT store in vehicle. DO NOT spray into enclosed space.
(But….I HAD to bring it home in my CAR…and my kitchen is kinda INDOORS…does that count?)
AVOID contact with skin with product in liquid form, may cause frostbite.
(Again….in unison, “WHAT?” Taylor (17): “Do we need special gloves, or what?”)
AVOID contact with product in liquid form, may cause plastic to discolor.
(Connor(12): “What’s the keyboard made of?” Me: “Plastic.”)
It then goes from AVOIDS to WARNINGS …something about “not being defined as flammable by 1500.3 © (6), 16CFR, Fed. Haz. Substance Act, C.P.S.C. Regs. HOWEVER, PRODUCT CAN BE IGNITED UNDER CERTAIN CURCUMSTANCES....yada, yada, yada.”
Taylor: “Like what circumstances?”
All I wanted to do was to get the sesame seeds out of my keyboard.
I bought ‘em at BJ’s in a pack of four. Anybody want some??
* It announces "Do not use on camera mirrors" in the instructions for use. What's a camera mirror?
It then proclaims (on the side of the can) “Computers, electronics, automobile, cameras, crafts.” At this point, in my infinite 20/20 hindsight, I realize it does not use the word “perfect for”, or “can be used on”…it just lists these 5 words. Pretty devious marketing, eh? But, I’m getting ahead of myself.