Sunday, May 31, 2009

It's Only Words

Ah, the power of words. We can convince, cajole and cavort our way straight into someone’s heart. On the flip side, we can also rip someone a new one…as it were. I prefer the former, if given the choice.

Whilst driving in the car the other day, Connor (12) informed me that cracking one’s knuckles had been found to not cause laryngitis. When Taylor (17) broke into gales of laughter, Connor realized his faux pas and quickly revised it. “I meant to say that cracking your knuckles doesn’t really cause gingivitis.” After Taylor and I caught our breath, Taylor politely informed Connor that one was an injury of the throat, and the other the gums and that he may want to google it. (Okay, what he actually said was “Try again dumb ass”, but neither Connor nor I appreciated that remark.) We finally realized he’d meant to say “arthritis”…but there were spontaneous bursts of laughter throughout the rest of the car ride…at Connor’s expense.

Words can also make you cringe. I had an acquaintance in my old neighborhood who would say “Well, the jest of the problem is this”…and I’d groan inside. She said it a LOT….it was evidently one of her favorite expressions. I didn’t feel close enough to her to correct her. I still think of her when I hear someone say the word “gist”….or “jest”…or sometimes even “jester”.

For the longest time, I thought our local liquor store was pronounced the way it read: Viscount….instead of “vie-kownt”. (HEY. Stop snickering. I’m not British….how would I know this?)

Simple words that can drive home your true meaning are often forgotten….like, “I’m sorry”… “Please”… “Thank you”:

  • I’m sorry you tripped on my front step, lost your tooth and now have what looks like a permanent sneer on your face.
  • Please don’t sue me…the house is mortgaged up the kazoo and your mother’s seen more action than my bank account.
  • Thank you for giving that obnoxious police officer my phone number. I will get you for that.

See? Simple sentiments….little words that can mean so much.

And, with that in mind…I shall bid you good day, ladies and gents. Adios, amigos. Ciao, bay-bees. Toot-toot. Beep-beep.

Unknown said...

Yep, sticks and stones, right? Astutely written with the dash of humor I've grown to enjoy with each post. You always leave me wanting more...step into that spotlight and belt out that high-note!

kathryn said...

Ha! Thank you, my're pretty prolific with the written word yourself. Glad you're here...

Anonymous said...

All well and good...but what about my missing toof??

Susan F said...

A lady told me she has "squirelliosis".. lol!

kathryn said...

Oh, God! I almost choked on this one....hilarious!

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