Monday, June 1, 2009


So. Mere minutes after cutting the new boomerang out of the box, we watched it sail over the trees and onto the roof. It seems that my brilliant idea of purchasing said boomerang to entice da boys to wander out of doors to experience the thrill of the fresh spring air is only plausible if you can find an activity that lasts more than...say, 30 seconds.

Today, Taylor (17) went up and got it down.

That got me thinking about the similarities between life and a boomerang.

  • Neither follows a straight line
  • It’s next to impossible to predict where they’ll actually go
  • Even if you follow the rules, you may still get clocked in the head.

Connor (12) is a determined lad who rarely gives up on any challenge he deems worth mastering. I remember when he was trying to learn how to blow a bubble…(with gum…did I really need to clarify this?) When you think about it, it’s not so easy to explain to someone how to blow a bubble…and it’s no walk in the park to show someone, either. I wound up with a lot of gum spit onto the rug, his bed…even the dog got hit once or twice before he eventually got it. Now, he’s a gum-chewing, bubble-blowing maniac…who blows through (pun intended) all my BJ’s bulk-purchased gum stash in record time.

So, it’s not really surprising that he’d take a serious interest in learning the convoluted technique to the proper angle, wrist-snap and eventual throw of a boomerang for the maximum, effective return of said instrument. Hopefully, without it winding up on my roof.

At one point this evening, he came inside and inquired “Is there an issue with getting spider spit on your skin? I can’t find the boomerang.”

This is a typical Connor remark…and somewhere I hear my
IV muttering “Like mother, like son…” (Thanks, sweetie….love you, too.)

I’m never quite sure how to respond to remarks like this. Do I

A) look alarmed?
B) laugh out loud?
C) Or, do I simply answer the question matter-of-factly?

I went with D) Ask that he show me the area where the boomerang was last seen and the vicinity of the alleged “spider spit”. But, first I needed to grab my camera.

This was the last known whereabouts of the boomerang:

I’ve added the signs for easier identification of the immediate red flags that were blinking *on* and *off* in my head as I approached the area. You’re welcome. The boomerang was nowhere to be seen. See?

We then turned our attention to inspecting the possibly lethal unknown substance tentatively identified as “spider spit” by the intended victim:

Connor then informed me that, purely as a frame of reference…for informational purposes and in the interest of science, he’d summarily spit on a neighboring clump of weeds, so we'd have a basis for comparison. I’ve opted to not show you the photo of the latter spit. Again…you’re welcome.

Samples were obtained and have been sent to the lab in Guatemala…which was the only lab that would accept such a significant request. We should have the analysis in 4-6 months.

We found the boomerang in a nearby tree. It’s in his right hand. What is not immediately apparent is the rolled-up left leg of his pants to allow the alleged “spider spit” affected area to “breathe” which will therefore cause any adverse symptoms of said spit to be null and void, per the unofficial Mother’s Guide to the Obscure manual of 2003. Oh, and he’s also wearing my ratty, furry, winter sketcher slippers…’cause he was too lazy to put on socks & shoes.

I’m telling you this because he wouldn’t let me kiss him goodbye the other day.

Who says moms can’t hold a grudge??

Gay Guy said...

But how do the Aboriginals do it?

jh said...

OMG, Connor is getting as big as Taylor! Figures you'd have a kid just like you :)

kathryn said...

GG: I'll get back to you on that one! (Seriously.)
JH: You mean that in the best possible way...right?

kathryn said...

GG: Evidently, the Aboriginal boomerangs can kill a small animal or knock down a larger one. I found no mention of head injury and they were not used for anything naughty, which means I've got to get my mind out of the gutter. (I'd assumed it was pretty boring back then & they'd need to use multiple items for multiple purposes.) My bad.

susan F said...

"Even if you follow the rules, you may still get clocked in the head."

That hit my funny bone... it's so true!!

kathryn said...

I'm glad!

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