ASAP

I’ve determined that we live in an ASAP society. I don’t even think people realize how insignificant these letters strung together have become.

“Kathryn,
Sorry to put a damper on things but I cannot use XXXXXX for the article. They owe money which they have not paid. Would you please substitute another interview for me? Thanks. As always, need ASAP.”

Um. Okay.

“Kathryn,
Need to substitute April 18 2009 attendance stats with Medicaid for the upcoming May 16 respite. Please submit ASAP.”

What? You want…what?

“Kathy,
Dad needs someone to drive him to the doctor on Friday. I did it last time. I'm too busy to call you, so reply ASAP.”

Uh-oh.

“Dear Neighbor,
I’m collecting for the Amnesia Foundation of America and every time I ring your bell, you’re not home. Please leave a donation in this envelope ASAP. Also, please include a little extra, as I believe I stepped in your dog’s crap. You really need to pick up after him.”

You see what I’m talking about. It’s getting hard to take it seriously, all this ASAP-ing all over the place.

I think we need a new word for it.

How about DINOE? “Do it now, or else.”

Works for me…