Thursday, February 26, 2009

Fashionable Failure

My recent post on Runway Fashion Gone Awry was quite well-received…and I’m nothing if not amenable to giving people what they want. And let’s face it…I seem to have an unlimited supply to choose from.

This post is dedicated to my good friend Margarete...not because she's a failure at fashion, but because she always gives me a reason to laugh...and periodically I'd like to return the favor.

I believe we’ll start from the bottom and work out way up:

Now, I do believe these would be SUPER comfy for a weekend around town…don’t you agree? Okay, so maybe this is a well-done Photoshop creation, but it’s still unique…yes?

How about these little Marc Jacobs patent peep toes? I promise you’ll be the only one at your next soiree wearing them. And, of course, everyone will notice your feet ‘cause you’ll be all wobbly and stilted and such.

What can I say? Lucite hooker shoes, combined with deadly spiders and other assorted insects? What’s not to like? If you’re a 10-year-old boy, that is…

Here’s an outfit made entirely out of chocolate. I’m sure you realize it was only a matter of time before someone thought to do this. I’m going to hazard a guess and say that I’ll bet she’s not all that comfortable… and if she takes one deep breath...

I’m going to call this ensemble “Mary the Bag Lady Meets Guns & Roses and gets into a wicked cat fight with a baggage handler from JFK, who moonlights as a furry boa manufacturer in Queens, Hence the Aftermath.”

Okay. This one is Power Rangers…meets those sliding-thingies you put underneath your furniture to move it across the room. Times infinity.

Oh, my. Happy Birthday to somebody! But can she dance in it?

I do believe this would be lovely to wear to a wedding. It’s not technically white, so there shouldn’t be a conflict. It’s more like deep-sea-algae meets Teletubbies.

This reminds me of that scene where you have the angel sitting on one shoulder and the devil on the other? Only this suit screams “DEAD MAN WALKING!!!” I wonder if he can fit a raincoat over that jacket….

Yet another model with no face….just a stupid block-head. Kind of a rubik’s cube-inspired look.

So, a little Photoshop action here…again. It’s creepy, right? All those hands…I think I’m getting a headache....or feeling smothered...I'm not sure which.

I do believe the HAT is wearing THE MODEL…and not the other way around. LOVE the eye-slit…and see how gracefully she has to hold it in position? It’s probably really easy to drive with it, too.

New meaning to the word “hair clip”. Doesn’t Bart Simpson have a ‘do like that? And that clip could double as a handy device if you lock your keys in your car…or if you need a gigantic pair of tweezers…

And finally, for the gal who longs for the opportunity to have your field of vision clouded by pink, fluttery butterflies…flapping gracefully with each and every single step she takes…reminding one and all that “you can never have enough pretty”…or can you?

Anonymous said...

These fashions just kill me! I never get enough of them. I don't know how the models wear them with a straight face.

kathryn said...

See, that's the beauty of those faceless fashions...they've probably got big smirks on their faces...I know I would.

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