Encarta describes a lie as “to say something that is not true in a conscious effort to deceive somebody”. However if you check white lie, it’s defined as “a lie not intended to harm but told in order to avoid distress or embarrassment”.
Now, I can see some of you looking a bit
Okay…bear with me here…I’m about to go seriously off-topic. This is too freakin’ hilarious not to share.
Here’s a screenshot of what I’ve just written in Word. (You can click to enlarge if you're like me and practically freakin' blind):
Okay. So it doesn’t like when I say “freakin”. It’s underlined in red. I’ve just added it to my custom dictionary, so it’ll stop bugging me...since we all know I'm not going to stop saying it. It also feels that the word “Ever.” is not a full, grammatically-correct sentence (indicated by that annoying, squiggly green line). I actually don’t freakin’ care....so bite me, Word. But WTF’s wrong with that other sentence?? Huh. Let’s right-click and see what Word has to say:
What's interesting is the fact that this correction was extremely camera-shy, so much so that it wouldn't let me take a capture of it....so, I broke out my actual digital camera. Equally interesting is that if I choose not to change the sentence to start with the word “this”, then I must add an extra question mark…making it two instead of one. I really only wanted one, but okay….done.
But guess what? It’s not happy with that. It’s still underscored in green! So, I right-click again:
Wha--?? Now it wants three question marks? I mean, I'm all about the drama…but really? I don't honestly think this is a three-question-mark moment, Word.
I put in three:
…and so on.
Okay. I know when to wave the white flag.
Now, it’s a whole hour later. What was I talking about?
Oh, right. The lie. People lie for all different reasons:
At work, to save your butt:
Boss: “I need the Kimmelson report.”
Employee: (Blank stare) “The Kimmelson report? What Kimmelson report??”
Boss: (Deadpan) “The one you confirmed via email two weeks ago.”
Employee: “Oh…that Kimmelson report. I’m just putting the finishing touches on it. Give me 15 minutes…”
When you’re a kid, to save your butt:
Angry parent: “Who the hell left the back door wide open?!”
Child: “NOT ME!”
Female friend to female friend, to save their friendship’s butt:
First: “I’m just crazy about Patrick. Do you think he likes me?”
Second: “Oh, definitely. I’m sure that he’s ignoring you because he likes you so much, he’s afraid he’ll self-combust if he so much as looks at you.”
I’m sure you can think of a thousand more….but you get the idea. I don’t think anyone starts off their day saying, “I think I’ll lie my ass off today!” but it happens. I’ve got news for you: Anyone who says they never lie….is lying. If you ask them to do something that they absolutely do not want to do, are they going to say, “Wow. I have no desire to do that. So, no.”
Yikes. Now Word wants me to change the word lie to the word lay. And that's no lie:
When do you think it’s okay to