Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Dragon. Ric Dragon.

So, this whole fulltime-working thing? So. Freakin’. Awesome.

And I’m not just saying that ‘cause my boss may be reading this. (Although he may be…but that’s totally not the point.)

I can already tell there’s going to be more than enough material to choose from for future blog posts. Oh, the stories to tell…

Like this one:

It’s my second week. I’m still wet behind the ears but that doesn’t stop management from throwing me to the wolves assigning me to handle some new blog content for a very large (read: intimidating) client.

For future reference, “management” is defined as Ric. That’s Rick…minus the “k”. He informed me early on that he’s evidently not a big fan of the “k”. Um. And my name shall now become….. “-athryn?” (MOM! What have you DONE to me? And you always said that drinking would get me into trouble…you never said anything about the “K”.)

So, my boss’ name is Dragon….Ric Dragon. (You have to say it in the “Bond….James Bond” rhythm, or it simply won’t flow.) Yes, that’s really his name. And yes, early on I found myself speculating (out loud) about whether he was really born as “Leslie Federmeister”. He was not. As we New Yorkers are a cynical bunch, I’m verifying this with the authorities. I’ll keep you posted.

Anyway. Ric totally runs the show. Of that, there is no doubt. When Ric says, “Jump” we say, “You can’t tell us to do that. That’s employee-exploitation.” But then…ya know, we jump…just in case he decides to call us on it and discovers we’re full of employee-crapola.

I digress. I’m asked to attend this conference call in Ric’s office. Honestly, the rest of the team may have been blind-sided by Ric’s decision to have me in on this, as the meeting had already started when they called me in. I proceeded to jump up, enthusiastically knocking over my chair…and then proceeded to walk away from my computer with my Skype headphones still firmly attached to my head. (Way to invoke confidence, -athryn! That’ll encourage them to keep inviting you!)

I grab my pad and stumble into Ric’s office. I hear a male voice on the speaker phone say, “Is Kathryn there?” and I freeze…(think: deer in headlights) and then I nod vigorously…not realizing that the man can’t actually see me. The three women on the team: Eta, Danielle and Claudia are seasoned professionals. They’re relaxed, confident and prepared. They also told disembodied-voice-man that I was, in fact, present. Danielle starts talking about websites and landing pages and Eta’s chiming in about statistics and analytics and Claudia’s casually breezing through a slew of data off the top of her freakin’ head whilst making what looked to me to be Hello Kitty illustrations in her notebook.

I’m writing notes… “….analytics….statistics…site…wtf?” and trying to look like I’m following this dialogue. I’m seated behind the thorough threesome and just basically trying to keep up. That’s when Ric decides to slip in through the back door and takes a seat directly behind me. Someone had delivered a cellophane-wrapped bouquet of a half a dozen cookies and evidently, Ric decided this was the time to eat one.


***CRUNCH!!!***

Danielle stops, mid-sentence…and shoots me a withering look. Then, she seamlessly picks up her thought.

***CRACKLE!!!***

Again, all eyes glance at me. I’m trying to look all annoyed and enraged at this obvious lack of decorum but I can feel the laughter’s beginning to bubble up, so I cover my mouth with my hand…like I’ve just realized I may have forgotten to brush my teeth that morning.

***CRINK! CRINK! CRINK!!!***

Evidently, Ric decided to go for the rip-the-band-aid-off-fast method…and I’m rewarded one last time with a quick, annoyed glance from the team…which, of course, causes me to turn around to shoot Ric a withering look of my own.

He gives me this innocent smile and offers me the cookie.

I notice he’s already taken a bite...

I believe the meeting ended right around then.

These are my kinda people...I do believe I’m going to fit in just fine.

Rambles'N'Shambles said...

Oh lordy!

I bet he sat behind you on purpose, perhaps it was a sort of 'hazing' thing

It's payback since your name starts with K.

Ric's line of thinking was "This'll show her, be named K-athryn will you! I'll show you what happens to K's around here."

Christopher said...

ha, glad you're getting along ok athryn

carissajade said...

hahaha ohhhh yes, I would fit in there just fine as well... I think?

I still don't get the K thing though. I always liked the K. Was jealous of it in fact. I want a K instead of a C!

Also i have been MIA for a while but I miss your blog!

Alan W. Davidson said...

Yep, sounds like a fun bunch-o-people, Kathryn. Ric Dragon...definately the name of a protag in an action novel!

Vince said...

Always good to know you're with your own.

Gigi said...

Who doesn't like the letter K?? Seriously, it is one of the more awesome letters of the alphabet. I mean if you are going to hold a grudge against a letter I would think the letter O would be the one to dislike. Think about it. How many different ways can you write the letter K? How many ways can you write the letter O? Just one. It does that one purpose.

Glad you are liking the job - that makes the days go so much faster. It also helps when you have a boss who shares his cookies.

Cathy Webster (Olliffe) said...

It sounds like you're having so much fun! I love the way you write - such a breath of fresh air!

brite said...

Ric Dragon?? Ahahahahaha. And you can torture him by dropping kareless k's everywhere!

ValleyWriter said...

Glad to hear you're fitting right in! ;-D

Dorn said...

I would have taken his cookie. Have fun, they sound like they've got their priorities straight in every way!

Alicia said...

So did you take the cookie? Enquiring minds want to know athryn! Should we capitalize the A?

I'm so glad you're fitting right in there and I'm especially glad that these people are fodder for lots more funny blog posts!

Happy Wednesday Athryn!

Tinkerschnitzel said...

It definately sounds like my place to work! Too bad I'm usually here all alone laughing to myself as I read your blog posts.

KellyGrrl said...

Too funny... Gotta love the office stories.... hahaha :-)

Sawah said...

LOL OMG THATS HILARIOUS!!!!!! If that was me, everyone would hear another cruncha and look over and i'd be eating a cookie too LOl Thats so funny xDDD

Runnergirl said...

I'm so glad it's going well already! They'll love you - they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you would fit in and do the job well.

kathryn said...

Rambles'N'Shambles: Hey you!! I'm happy to hear from you! I think you're absolutely right. I got hazed...with a capital "H". I consider it a sort of initiation...I think it means I'm one of them.

Christopher: Ha! Thanks. I miss my "K", though. Maybe I'll get Ric to warm to the letter...I'll start him off with a "C" and work my way over.

carissajade: Oh, yeah. You'd fit in just fine, sweetie. I love your name with a "C"! You'd have to keep spelling it for people if you made it Karissa. That'll never do.

kathryn said...

Alan W. Davidson: Definitely! I agree....it's a great bunch of people. They're young and hip and uber-smart. And they're always online! It's like finding more of yourself!

Vince: Ha! I've just said this to Alan! It's like you've read my mind...and it's exactly how I feel.

Gigi: Tis so true, sweetie! I hadn't thought of it that way...at least he offered me the cookie. As for not liking the "K", he evidently has a problem with Krispy Kremes as well. I'm guessing we have some deep-rooted issues to uncover. We'll work on this.

kathryn said...

Cathy Webster (Olliffe): Aw, thank you very much! That's so nice of you to say. I appreciate it...and yes, I'm appreciating this fantastic work atmosphere...more than you know!

brite: Ha! Yup...that's obviously a "button-pushing" moment for him. I'll just dump a truckload of K's all over his office.

ValleyWriter: Thanks, sweetie! I really thought I probably would...but it's still great to be in such a happy, upbeat environment.

Mark Price said...

Funny post Athryn! You can always tell who the boss is at a meeting...The only one willing to disrupt the meeting with crinkly stuff. I think one of my bosses actually put me in a time out at a meeting once.

kathryn said...

Dorn: Yes, I totally agree. And next time, I'll definitely take that cookie. How often does one get a bouquet of cookies, anyway??

Alicia: Happy Wednesday, sweetie! From Athryn to Alicia. Perfect! I was too freaked out to consider eating anything. First big meeting. I'm starting to loosen up a bit more every day, though.

Tinkerschnitzel: Aw. So, technically, you're there with me! That'll work! Always a pleasure to hear from you, sweets!

kathryn said...

KellyGrrl: I know. You knew they'd arrive (the office stories) sooner or later. It was simply a matter of time!

Sawah: I know, sweetie. You'd be half-way through the SECOND cookie. LOVE YOU! (This is my gorgeous, perfect niece, for anyone who's wondering)

Runnergirl: Aw...thank you, sweetie. You've paid me the perfect compliment...and I really appreciate it. I'm so happy things are going so well!

Jerry said...

Ric Dragon, obviously an alias. I decided to dig deeper and googled him....and now I am more suspicious. He covers his tracks well.

Aha! Cookie Monster...I knew it!

Lauren said...

Hmmm... if there's a Ric Dragon is there an Earl Black-Knight or a Ted Charming or something? I think if you're going medieval you should go all out. Also, what kind of cookie was it, did you take it and if yes, was it worth all the trouble it caused?

Jen said...

Okay, when did you find this new job? I need to be more on top of reading every one of your posts in order. I want to hear more about this. I'm going to send you an e-mail to get all the dirt.
Yeah for you!!!

Áine said...

Sounds like a great job Athryn :)

Climb2Nowhere said...

That's hilarious about his name without the K. I love that. Your job and the people sound awesome. Your boss sounds cool. A good boss can make or break a job. I'm glad things are going well for you there.

Straight Guy said...

Congratulations on the job. If I'm guessing correctly that you are providing web/blog/media content, then they've hired a master. I hope they can keep up.

kathryn said...

Mark Price: Thank you, Mar-! You are right on the money...only the boss can get away with this kind of thing. And why am I not surprised that you'd get a time out? I'd like to say I expect more of you...but I'd be lying! (Breaks into song, "I like you just the way you aaaare.")

Jerry: HA! So, this just reinforces the notion that no-one in my life had better be running from the law, 'cause they'll be exposed! (I made the mistake of reading this comment at work and laughed out loud...followed by a loud *SNORT*! Score another professional moment at work for me!)

Lauren: You guys are too funny. I do believe you're more interested in the cookie than the story. Okay, I did not take the cookie. Ric ate the cookie. There are no cookies left. I'm sure Ric would say the cookie was definitely worth the trouble it caused me.

kathryn said...

Jen: Thanks, sweetie! It's only been about five weeks or so. I'm still trying to get used to the hours...and the fact that I'm commuting an hour, instead of the five steps into my office. Epic adjustment!!

Aine: Than- you! (My lame way of omitting the "k" back at'cha.) It's the perfect job for me...and that's what truly matters, right?

Climb2Nowhere: Yes, this is so true. And, unfortunately, you know all about sucky bosses, right? I wish that were less true...

kathryn said...

Straight Guy: Thank you, sweet man. Of course, I had to read your comment to da boss...lest he not realize what an absolute gem he's got. You've made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...and I thought only booze could do that.

Dreamfarm Girl said...

sounds like you landed the perfect job, -athryn!

Selina Kingston said...

I'm loving your boss. Is he cute??

Spot said...

I am so glad that the job is turning out well! I remember when you were just interviewing for it!

And I have noticed a lot of Kathryn/Ric Dragon tweetage lately. Is this something I should be speculating about? I don't know why I'm asking, I'm totally going to speculate regardless of your answer.=]

♥Spot

sage said...

sounds like a fun and interesting place to work--so long as ric doesn't have dragon breath!

Jenny said...

Nooooo! You cannot blindside someone with a conference call! Especially when there are people who know what the hec is going on!

I think Dragon. Ric Dragon. is onto something here. We can just decide we don't like letters and just leave them out? How come no one ever told me this? Jennife is now how I'm rolling.

David L Macaulay said...

too funny - love it that you can rip it out of your bosses on your blog. I may try that myself. What kind of name is Ric Dragon anyhow?

Boonie S said...

Glad to read that everything's changing, and everything's remaining the same.

All the best, Boonie

Kimberly said...

Ric Dragon is a very cool name. Does he live up to that name?

Glad to hear all is going well!

kathryn said...

Dreamfarm Girl: Yes, I believe I did, sweetie. And it just keeps getting better. I'm happy to see you!

Selina Kingston: He's funny...and he's taken. His wife is a doll...very understanding...as I'm guessing you have to be when you're married to a prankster like Ric.

Spot: You guys have to stop trying to fix me up! No funny-tweeting going on...but everyone there is constantly online.

kathryn said...

sage: Ha! No dragon breath! Although...let me think on this. I have seen errant puffs of smoke...

Jennife: HEY YOU! Yeah, I wasn't aware that we had a say on what letters stayed and went either. Who knew? I'm gonna miss the "k" a little. It was fun to write.
I'm happy to see you!

David L. Macaulay: I do not believe this is your average workplace. And I'm lucky that he doesn't mind getting ripped (as you so eloquently put it!). The man is everywhere, so I knew he'd read it!

kathryn said...

Boonie S: Yes, that's very true. I've got the best of both worlds, I'm thinking.

Kimberly: Yes, he's definitely a cool dude!

Post a Comment

Fabulous Insights by Fabulous Readers