Like most of us, there are two distinct sides to me.
There’s the no makeup, bad hair, retaining water, hot-mess-Kathryn:
…and then there’s the smoking-hot, sexy, model-Kathryn:
Yeah, I know. (You do realize the above is not me, right? I mean, it’s obvious with the troll and all…but…hell, I mean, I wish…)
Hey, I don’t choose to be one or the other…and I’m never sure when my feet hit the floor that day which version I’m going to be. And no, there doesn’t seem to be any middle ground.
It’s either sexy bike-chick….or bloated troll. Oh, joy.
If I’m really lucky, I’ll be SBC on a day when I need to get things done…or when I need a favor….’cause SBC has a lot more confidence than Troll-K. Even if I’m working the phone, there’s a difference. I’m more upbeat…almost flirty. I prefer to be SBC when taking the dog to the vet…or when I need to convince someone over the phone to give me an extension on a due date, ‘cause SBC gets things done. Frankly, T-K is a little whiny.
I may be out of line here…but I do believe that SBC has a distinct advantage over T-K…and the difference shines through whether there’s a visual or not. It’s all in the attitude.
On Friday, SBC talked her way through one extension and one request for a last-minute scheduling…all before getting dressed. Suh-weet. Later on in the day, SBC visited the super-busy deli to pick up sandwich fixings for the weekend’s company. This is the place where you take a number and wait a while, so SBC decided to pass the time checking her Blackberry for messages, tweets and texts. Imagine her surprise when one of the guys asked her what her number was! Turned out, he meant her ticket number…but still. She even had a second guy ask if she needed anything else. SBC rocks.
After doing a major grocery shop, SBC made eye contact with a guy that opened up another check-out lane! This particular supermarket is handing out scratch-off, lotto-type tickets where “YOUCANWINUPTOFIVETHOUSANDDOLLARS!!!” …but to the best of my knowledge, no-one has ever won anything, so it’s not very exciting anymore.
Upon arriving home, SBC checked her receipt and discovered that check-out guy had given her TEN scratch-off tickets! She knocked on Connor’s (13) door to share her good fortune.
Connor: “Woah. WHY did he give you so many?”
SBC: “What do you mean ‘WHY’? He liked me. In some circles, I’m considered HOT.”
Connor: “Ew. No, you’re not…gross. You’re my MOM…”
Kathryn: (Sighs deeply) “It’s fine. But I am a person too, ya know…”
Connor: (Doesn’t take eyes off video game screen) “I know, Mom. But you’re not….like, a girl. The phone’s been ringing like crazy. Did you buy my gum?”
Troll-Kathryn: “Whatever. Maybe. I don’t care. I’m getting ready for bed.”
Connor: “It’s 6:30! Do you feel okay? Hang on...I’ll help you put the food away.”
Kathryn: (Smiles) “Thanks. But first, let’s find a quarter. We’ve got some serious scratching to do. I'm feeling lucky.”
PS: Nope. Didn't win a thing.