Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Monster



For anyone unaware, I’m a HUGE fan of Glee. My life before was dull and Gleeless….but Gay Guy changed all that. He’d tweeted something to the effect of, “Kathryn. You must watch Glee or you will shrivel up and die from serious Broadway withdrawal.”

Okay…so he may not have actually used my name in that particular tweet…although I don’t doubt for a moment he was thinking of me…right, GG??...(blink, blink)….and it might have actually been more of a general informational tweet to inform us uninformed that a new, fabulous show was premiering on Fox. Since GG never answers my tweets, we may never know. (Insert reader outrage and long, guilt-ridden “Awwwww!” towards GG here.) See, I can get away with this ‘cause GG never answers me on Twitter…get it?

Wow, Kathryn…way to lay on the Jewish-mother-guilt. And I'm not even Jewish….but Italian…which is really not such a leap if you think about it. You know who else is Italian? My father. He’s 80-years-young and I turned him on to Glee about a month ago.

I’m debating the sensibility of that decision....and may ultimately, hold  GG accountable. Stay tuned.

Set scene:

(Kathryn’s phone rings incessantly…she can tell by the ring it’s Dad)

Kathryn: “Hi, Dad.”

Dad: “Who is this? Kathryn?? Is that show with the singing on tonight?”

K: “No, Dad. It’s on Wednesdays. Today’s Tuesday. Set your DV-R…it’s a hell of a lot simpler.”

D: “There’s a show on before that one. American something. Idol?”

K: “Yeah. I don’t watch that, Dad. The only thing I know about it is that sometimes it runs over and it screws up my recording of Glee.”

D: “What? This show is on before Glee and there’s some guy…Lee…something.”

K: “Dad. I don’t watch AI. Sorry…”

D: “AI? His name is….(papers rustling)…Lee something. He sang a song….(more papers rustling) on May 12th. I want it for my iPod. The judge said it sounded like elevator music. He wasn’t very appreciative.”

K: “Uh-huh. Did you Google it? Check Youtube? I dunno….geez, Dad. I’ll try and look for it, okay?”

CLICK.

So, I Google. I get the guy’s name. I Google some more. I find the AI eppy with Lee Dewyze and find someone’s blog where they talk about Simon Cowell ripping the poor guy a new one from May 12th. I find the freakin’ performance on YouTube.

I pull it up and excitedly call Dad back.

Kathryn: “Dad! Listen to this!”

I hit "play" and hold the phone up to my laptop…which is playing Lee-what’s-his-name playing guitar and he's performing Seal’s “Kiss From a Rose”.

Dad: “No….that’s not it.”

K: “Uh. Yeah, Dad….this is it. May 12th. Lee Dewyze. AI. Kiss from a rose….”

Dad: (Pause) “No….I’d know it if I heard it…he was playing guitar….”

K: (Exasperated) “Dad. He IS playing guitar! I’m looking right at him.”

D: “Thanks for trying, caro…I’ll find it.” (Sighs deep Italian-guilt-sigh)

Gee....now I know where I get it…

Gigi said...

Oh Kathryn!! You have me in stitches and I don't even watch Glee or American Idol ("AI" to those in the know....).

And that Italian guilt? This I know - since I married into it. But if the truth be known - try the Irish kind.....

Gigi said...

Which begs the follow up.....

Poor, poor Man-Child......Italian on one side, Irish on the other.

For him there is no hope....

Collette said...

I love Glee, too. In fact, John Stamos is going to be on next season as Emma's new love interest, her dentist. Now that's a dentist for ya!
Maybe your dad meant the song "The Boxer". It is an older song...lol.(((HUGS)))

Collette said...

As for Broadway, I'm hoping to see "Rock of Ages" when it comes to Detroit. Constantine is awesome.(from AI season 4)lol

kathryn said...

Gigi: Ha! Oh, yeah....MC's freakin' DOOMED. May as well start the therapy NOW! Interestingly Taylor knows we've got a smidge of Irish in us and he's most proud of THAT. As a mom, I'm only sorry I can't give him MORE!

Collette: I love John Stamos! (Wipes drool off keyboard) Can't wait! I'll look up "The Boxer"...he's insisting he'll know it when he hears it....

kathryn said...

Collette: Footnote: I broke down and downloaded the GLEE soundtrack from the season finale....I'm hoping to "share it" with Dad for Father's Day. LOVE IT.

Oddyoddyo13 said...

I've never seen Glee before. *hangs head*

I'm not sure what channel its on either.

I think I've done that before (the song with your Dad thing)...Not sure when, but it sure sounds familiar!

kathryn said...

Oddyoddyo13: Aw, honey...it's not too late! They're re-playing all the GLEE's from the beginning on Thursday nights at 9pm on Fox (it's channel 5 here). The show is truly awesome...and the talent is blow-me-away extraordinary. It's worth watching!

Straight Guy said...

What's the emoticon for jealous, again?

Let me fill you in: GG is a technophobe. Getting him to tweet at all is a victory. He texts them out on his cellphone (I have to set it up, of course). Hoping for a bounceback might be too much. I'll work on it.

By the way, I watch Glee, too. Favorite moment: Artie's flashmob Safty Dance dream.

Thanks for the links, though.

Alan W. Davidson said...

Hmm...lotso guilt there. I'd have to say my Scottish parents rival your Italian parents for guilt, though. There was this once I didn't call my mum on Mother's Day, let me tell you...

Collette said...

That's a great idea for father's day! Let me know how he likes it.

Fierce said...

Oh Kathryn, I wish I could help you there but sadly I don't watch AI either. Now Glee on the hand is in my area of expertise. Call me if you need help finding any song from there. Good luck song-searching.

:)
xoxo

kathryn said...

Straight Guy: Trust me, sweetie...you hold an equal place in my heart. I just can't help myself...I've done my homework...GG has 530 followers and he only flwgs YOU. IE: ONE. Can you tell I don't take rejection well? I'm working on it. YOU, on the other hand...my hero. Family man...watches Glee...follows me....be still, my heart....

Alan W. Davidson: Okay...I'm already sensing there's more than enough parental guilt to cover every nationality. (You didn't call your mother on Mother's Day? Are you INSANE??) On a bright note, I've distracted you from filing those child abuse charges against me....

kathryn said...

Collette:I thought so! It's a win/win if I can figure out how he and I can share the album...'cause no way I'm parting with it. That version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" makes me grin...every time!

Fierce: I KNEW there was something (even more special) about you! Between Glee last week and the Oscars on Sunday, I'm still smiling. What is it about Broadway??

StacyUK said...

My sister is a big fan of Glee, I'll have to Netflix it when it comes out. Stream it right to my Nintendo Wii. Hopefully.

I dread my parents purchasing a new television. They complain that "the television is broken" when they just haven't turned on the cablebox and insist it was on because "the clock was on". And they still surf the channels with the up and down key instead of typing in the numbers.

KellyGrrl said...

I love love LOVE Glee :-)

Lauren said...

There's the French and Catholic guilt too! Plus, half of my town is Italian. I'm with you. So long as you don't try to pull anything on me... PS, I totally got hooked on Glee when I was in Toronto! I too was Gleeless!

TC said...

I love Glee and I know not why, my big hairy husband watches glee too?

kathryn said...

StacyUK: Oh, I feel your pain. I guess...like with children...there should be an entertaining, carefree way we can keep our parents "current" without them even realizing it. Well, if you ever need a new teevee, you'll have to agree with them and take the "broken" one off their hands, I guess!

KellyGrrl: Of course you do! It's hard for me to imagine anyone not watching it and falling instantly in love.

Lauren: Oh, yay! But, now you're a Gleek like the rest of us!The chemistry, the drama, the singing...oh, my...how I love it!

kathryn said...

TC: Who cares WHY?? I think it's fabulous that hubby watches it. Shows he has excellent taste and knows extraordinary performances when he hears them. He's certainly not alone!

Daily Panic said...

Glee FROM the BEGINNING!!!! I'm a Gleek! Love your dad! My dad always talks science to me and I usually listen to it about 100 times before I understand what he's talking about. Gotta love our dads! Hope you and yours have a happy fathers day!

Vince said...

When one of the cheerleaders came out with the line "Dolphins are just gay Sharks", I knew whoever are writing the script are very good indeed.

Draea Lael (Rose) said...

I absolutely love Glee, my daughter has inherited the drama gene from me as well...my students laugh when I play my mp3 player in class b/c 75% of the 16gb is broadway. I am, indeed, a drama geek and Gleek in one.

Amy said...

OMG I HATE when silly AI screws up my Glee recording!!

My mother asks me every time I talk to her if I watch American Idol. No, I do not.

Gay Guy said...

Kathryn,

Are you sure that I am on your twitter list?? If so, where would the tweet arrive? Is it an e-mail? Is it a text message?

Should I just make it simple and ask, "What's twitter?"

I get an e-mail when you update your blog, but that's not the same thing?

This might call for a Straight Guy intervention.

kathryn said...

Daily Panic: Ha! I swear...I've often wondered if Dad and I are even talking in the same language. Always a pleasure chatting w/another Gleek! Hope you and your dad have a great Father's Day as well.

Vince: Ha! I forgot about that line! How can you not love that kind of wit? I wish I was that witty in high school...

Draea Lael (Rose): Then you and I would get along famously. My iPod is probably 50% Broadway tunes...it's the only music basically guaranteed to make me grin like an idiot or bring me to tears. Love it!

kathryn said...

Amy: You should've heard my last Tweet-rant when AI ran over...I was beside myself.....not pretty. I think I was one of MANY who complained 'cause it seemed like Fox worked harder to stay on time. Or, maybe that's just my wishful thinking.

Oh, Gay Guy. For someone with so many followers, it's amazing that you're still on step#1: send tweet. Which you do very well, btw...but truth be told, I respond to nearly every single one! Um...SG? When you "set GG up" for Twitter, did you give the poor guy the capability to respond to anyone?? God knows how many responses he's not even aware of! A travesty, I tell ya! (You're still aces in my book, GG...I can't watch Glee w/o silently thanking you for sending out that tweet.)

Christiejolu said...

Shame on GG for not answering your Tweets!

Your Dad sound like a riot! I LOVED that he called you and asked who it was...So awesome he is 80 and has an iPod and uses technology...My parents are only in their 60's and act like they are too old for technology...

Adele said...

I'd want to be Italian. I think my everyday life would be... a LOT more fun:D Estonians are about as temperamental and lively as penguins. Or maybe ice cubes. And about technology: my mom is something-over-40 and when I happen to mention that I'd want an iPod, she asks: "Ummm...what does that do?" And then I'm like: "OK...um, basically, it plays music." My mom: "Oh, but you have one already..." Me: "Mommy, this is an MP3-PLAYER. iPod is a little different. There can also be pictures and videos and stuff." And then my mom's like, "Oh, I get it." And the next time it starts all over again.

kathryn said...

Christiejolu: Oh, poor GG! Turns out, he's never responded to anyone on Twitter! Evidently, SG's Twitter-tutorial did not include responding. Now, I'm not so hurt. And yeah...my Dad's uber-cool. Technology does not phase him...he simply rolls with it. Most of the time, anyway...

Adele: Hey, I happen to like penguins! There's lots of drama w/Italians, though (not me, of course. HA.) Well, as long as Mom doesn't slam the door of getting an iPod in your face, that's something, right? At least she didn't try to sell you on a portable CD player!!

Carol said...

I've never seen Glee, don't hate me, I still don't know how to work the remote. Something on my blog for you because you are my favorite!

kathryn said...

Carol: Whee! I could never hate you, sweetie. Although, you're gonna need to take a class for operating that remote. We can't have you being the helpless female, now can we?? Heading to your place now-

Viv said...

this is so cute, and hilarious and exasperating all at once!
I love Glee too. I want to go back to high school and actually participate in something other than smoking in the parking lot.

Gay Guy said...

I am thinking of turning SG into my total personal assistant. I'll just dictate my great thoughts and he can twitter them into my cell phone or twitter mobile or whatever it takes.

kathryn said...

Viv: I know, right? I'm wondering...would it be worth all the slushies and Sue Sylvesters to sing like that? I'm thinking YES!

Gay Guy: I do believe it would be fitting. We could think of it as a form of community service for only setting you up halfway... Surely a panel of jurors would have a waaay stiffer penalty than that. Just remember: Your great thoughts are making it into the Twitterverse...(I'm still chuckling from the "middle urinal" tweet, actually)...you're just missing the feedback!

Heather said...

Wow! To have your dad so capable of doing all those things, my dad still hasn't hooked up the internet! He still just using the basic computer and playing solitaire.

I've not been able to watch Glee yet. Hubby let me watch five minutes of it last week and as soon as he realised it was high school kids he changed the channel.

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JP said...

I've had some people who never responded to me on Twitter... but then sometimes you get some internet celebrity who does respond and you become giddy... Like one of the humourous tech writers for MSNBC... Helen something... she replied to me a couple of times... *swoon*

And Crystal totally should have won AI... Lee Dewyze... Puleeeze.

And finally...

I'm completely straight. I love to have sex with women. I love Glee. They are not incompatible.

sage said...

Mother's guilt... it's all the same, Jewish, Italian, Southern... I think it's more a mom thing than an ethnic thing.

As for the show, haven't watched it and am glad my dad doesn't hound me about shows to watch and we never did like the same music.

Ava said...

I don't watch Glee. I used to watch AI til it became boring for me.
My dad is 66 and won't admit he's hard of hearing. Whenever we talk by phone or in person, it usually sounds at some point as if we are having an ugly argument. He asking the SAME question over and over and me shouting the SAME answer back. What's not to love?

John McElveen said...

My wife Is so hooked on Glee, and I enjoyed the 2 episodes I watched,. Talented people! Reminds me of the Old "FAME".

John

kathryn said...

Heather: Okay...I'm having a bit of a problem with the statement beginning with, "Hubby let me..." Excuse me?? Honey, you should be able to watch whatever the hell you want! Put hubby on the phone (I mean, computer)!

Best Mobiles View: Uh huh. Um. Thanks? This comment is not generic in any way. Useful? I'm useful??

JP: Honey, you don't have to sell me. I never got why enjoying Glee had anything to do with one's sexuality. But having good taste? That's a prerequisite. My biggest peeve w/Twitter is my timeline can whiz by so fast (I'm almost always on TweetDeck...not Twitter's homepage itself), that I don't always see ppl's updates. Hope you hear from swooney-Helen again soon!

kathryn said...

sage: I do believe you're right about the guilt-thing. But...in all fairness to mothers everywhere...for those moments when your kids treat you like the dirt on the bottoms of their shoes...they've got it coming to them. It just...pops out. Not unlike they did. From my battered body. After 32 hours of labor. (Oops...there I go again...)

Ava: Oh, that's too funny. And you KNOW you'll have to keep SHOUTING if he's not owning up to the hard-of-hearing thing. I'll bet you can hear his tv from 3 doors down!!

John McElveen: Yeah...only even BETTER than Fame. God, these ppl are talented. The 2nd season they really came into their own. For me, it's great to be a fan of something that is honestly, sincerely good tv. We could use more of it.

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