Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Sticky Alcoholic Hallway

And so…the settlement in Kathrynville continues. At times, it is fraught with adversity and consternation. Most of the time though…it’s more like a walk in the freakin’ park. Literally. Life has improved tenfold in our neck of the woods…and we’re grateful.

In the face of all this glee and jubilation however, there remains one blemish in the seemingly flawless environment…and you know I’m going to tell you all about it.

The Comcast cable guy arrived amidst the chaos on moving day to install our phone, cable and (most importantly) internet. He walked in the front door…and I could swear that the air in the room became lighter…as I grew giddy with anticipation at the mere thought of my faster-than-the-speed-of-light-new-and-improved-internet and three free months of Showtime. Being a seasoned professional in the Cable Package Bundle, I asked the guy to backwash…or backpedal….or backstroke (I can no longer recall the technical term) the phone, so it’ll work through that little hole-thingie in the wall.

He looked at me like I’d grown another head.

“I don’t know if I can do that,” he said.

“Just try,” I replied…as I turned my attention to a box suspiciously marked “1 3clock Cuhe Stomage”. (Turned out to be “Block Cube Storage” in Taylor’s hurried half-hearted senior-scrawl…I’m still not sure what the hell that is…)

Several hours later, the boys and I were left with only half our cable channels, some useless phone outlets and internet access for only one of our three computers. In order to get the boys online, I opted for the tried-and-true…messy-but-hell, at-least-it-freakin’-works method of running the Ethernet cables down the hallway and into their respective bedrooms.

Was it pretty? Nope.

Was I desperate? What do you think?

To secure the wires from the inevitable trip, I used about twenty feet of packing tape to hold it in place against the ceramic tiles of the hall…hugging the molding as much as possible…at least, until it needed to cross the hall to enter someone’s room.

Desperate times....

This method was a means to an end…and the next day I plunked down some green for two Wireless-G USB Adapters. I pulled up the wires and tape from the tiled hallway and figured that was the end of it.

Only….it wasn’t. The next day, I noticed parts of the tiles were sticky. I ignored this. After 24 hours, I noticed a definite outline of sticky dirt that replicated the trail of the original tape…so I wiped the tiles down with alcohol and life resumed.

Several hours later, the sticky line was back….so I once again located my bottle of rubbing alcohol and diligently rubbed down the tacky tiles.

Since then, it has steadfastly returned often enough that I no longer bother to put the supplies away….and the familiar odor of rubbing alcohol is expected when you round the corner.

I’m resigned to a sticky hallway for the foreseeable future…and I’m still looking for the hidden camera. If I wind up being filmed, I can only hope I’m having a really good hair day.


Fierce said...

Well call me a conspiracy theorist if you will, but I think other-Connor (y'know the one from the alternate dimension?) keeps replacing the sticky tape and pulling it off again when your back's turned. Again, I'm no physicist, this is just my speculation.

:)
xoxo

Dreamfarm Girl said...

There is no such thing as an easy cable hook up. It just is not possible in this universe. You might oughta count it as good luck that your dysfunctional cable experience only ended with perpetually sticky walls. It could be worse. On the bright side: YAY you are settled and happy in a new place and best of all, back up and blogging! Yippee!

Lauren said...

After two years working with an OCD cleanfreak, this is puzzling and annoying me. Floors that never come clean? WTF? I'm gonna ask Helen about this. I'm glad that your miserable moving in seems to be getting better though!

Runnergirl said...

Glad you're settling in and am well impressed with your ability to install internet etc. I have NO idea and leave it all to Hubby... I would have expected the boys to be teaching you!

Gigi said...

Sounds like a ghost!

Although the alcohol should be doing the trick - have you thought about trying that GooGone (I think that's what it's called) - it's supposed to be fabulous for gummy kinds of mess.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

God, you constantly amaze me that you even know how to attempt half this stuff. I'd have to bribe someone to help me. It's why I go out of my way to maintain a decent relationship with the Ex, his vast technical skills. Pitiful.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

I hate that stickiness! Try diluting some Murphy's Oil Soap with some water and use that. It should not only get rid of the sticky, but it will clean. :) Good luck with getting the cable/internet stuff done right. I've rarely had luck with that.

ValleyWriter said...

Ooh ooh - I have just the solution. Goo Gone! It'll leave your hall smelling like oranges for a while, but it works like a charm every time (price stickers, tape goo - you name it, it dissolves it!).

sage said...

I love your writing style and stories... and I hate moving and dealing with internet connections

Kristy said...

As soon as you said, cable guy, I groaned. Ugh. What a pain. Cables, technology, wires, all of it!

cody said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
cody said...

I second the Goo Gone. I've seen it work miracles when we use it in the store. I added it to my essential tool list, along with the hammer, baling wire, and duct tape (all that's ever needed).

Tia said...

Ugh. I was waiting for the cable guy yesterday. Ended up missing my kids field day cuz the booger was more than 2 hours late. :( As for the sticky floors. That would drive me nuts. But on the other hand, it would also be amusing because I can just picture my cats freaking out! I taught them to stay off the tables by putting double sided tape on them. Cats HATE sticky paws. :)

Kingsmom said...

Why do I get the feeling YOU should be working for the Comcast and not the other way around?

Johanna said...

Oh, I hate that when the "professional" comes to set you up and then takes a whole day only to leave the job done half-baked (that's a more gentle term than I'd usually use!) We've moved many times in the past 5 years and I have yet to have a cable/computer hookup go as planned. In fact, we ended up moving bedrooms just to accomodate where the computer was working and to hell with worrying about it anymore...how did our life end up revolving around a computer anyway?

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Hehe, a hall of alcohol...only you Kathryn, only you. :)

kathryn said...

Fierce: Ooooh....that would be soooo bad of him. I'll have to put Metro on puppy-hallway-patrol to report back. Hopefully, he won't get his puppy-paws caught on the sticky tape...

Dreamfarm Girl: YAY! You don't know how much I've missed you! It's scary-crazy how accustomed to life online I've become. It's great to be back!

Lauren: I'm telling you...it's the damnest thing. I wipe it down...even run my hand over the tiles and they're smooth. An hour later, I notice the lint from my sock stuck to the floor in that now-familiar line. It's a little freaky...

The Muller said...

Look on the bright side, you have a reason to keep your hair looking FABULOUS!

kathryn said...

Runnergirl: I'm sure the day will come when the boys'll be wiping the floor with me...but I'm hoping I've still got a few good years left. Once I lose my edge, I fear it's all downhill from there!

Gigi: Yeah...I'm definitely gonna look for that Goop-y stuff tomorrow. There's something really gross about a sticky floor. If I could avoid the hall, you know I would!

Heather said...

So glad the new place is working out for ya. Well except for the mystery of the sticky tiles.

Spot said...

Have you considered that your hallway has a problem? That it's deliberately baiting you so that you'll give it some alcohol?? You have to watch those hallways you know. Tricky buggers.

Ha! I'm sorry you're having any troubles, but I love to laugh about them.

♥Spot

E. Peevie said...

It's very mysterious that the sticky came back after being wiped down with booze. It's like sticky from an alternate dimension; it's like something from Angel or Buffy, only less apocalyptic.

I would give my left arm to have cable TV, but I'm confined to watching regular channels. Our internet is fast, though, so I guess I should count my blessing.

One.

When Pigs Fly said...

Moving is probably one of the worst things you have to deal with along with new cable set up. I feel for you. I really do. I think I would have replaced the rubbing alcohol with a little Grey Goose and a splash of cranberry and called it a day.

Jerry said...

That is your punishment for using that fancy Wireless G-string thing. You should be ashamed. God is punishing you. Dress appropriately and you will be forgiven!

Wendy Blum said...

Didn't read any of the rest of your comments from other readers of your blog. So, I am going to ask and hope that I am not repeating something you have already read. Have you tried a Magic Eraser to rid that tape line from the tile? Try using the Magic Eraser with the blue scrubber on one side of the foam. I have even used these erasers on my carpet for stains. You do have to use caution with carpet though. Otherwise you could end up with a white mark where color used to be. Give it a try and let me know how it works. Good luck =)

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