So a few weeks ago, I went in search of jeans for Connor (13). The thing about clothes and boys is that:
- they don’t want to go anywhere near an actual store
- they don’t want to have to physically try anything on
- they grow like weeds and nothing fits for more than 1 season
- they rip/tear/somehow destroy everything they wear so that it’s of no use to anyone else
Since this is a totally thankless job, I chose the path of least resistance: a K-Mart. I’d had the foresight to dig a current pair of way-too-short jeans out of the laundry so I’d know what size not to get. After locating and selecting two pairs of Levis in the store, I became distracted by something shiny and subsequently found myself in front of a display of some kind of exercise sneaker. But not just any sneaker…
Something called the TheraShoe! With its Certified Impact Reduction System, I can walk my way to fitness!
Even the illustration of Weird Naked Walking Guy was impressive! Although his coloring…with those shoes? Puh-lease.
The kicker (pun intended) was this shot:
…and although I couldn’t quite grasp the concept of how those shoes would give me that butt, I was SOLD.
My pair are a delicate white-on-white…and although I’m usually not much of a sneaker gal, I was looking forward to “exercising my core glute and leg muscles” just by the simple act of walking. Well, I’m walking anyway…so, why not? I mean, how hard can it be??
Okay. Imagine walking on top of a giant turtle’s shell…but all day long. I must be a total spaz…because each and every time I took a step, I would almost stumble. I was fine as long as I stood perfectly still…but somehow, I’m thinking this may defeat the purpose.
So, I’m re-learning how to walk…and as I sit here typing, I could swear there’s just a little bit of soreness in my derriere…(ooh-la-la!)