Thursday, April 15, 2010

First Steps

So a few weeks ago, I went in search of jeans for Connor (13). The thing about clothes and boys is that:

  •  they don’t want to go anywhere near an actual store
  •  they don’t want to have to physically try anything on
  •  they grow like weeds and nothing fits for more than 1 season
  •  they rip/tear/somehow destroy everything they wear so that it’s of no use to anyone else

Since this is a totally thankless job, I chose the path of least resistance: a K-Mart. I’d had the foresight to dig a current pair of way-too-short jeans out of the laundry so I’d know what size not to get. After locating and selecting two pairs of Levis in the store, I became distracted by something shiny and subsequently found myself in front of a display of some kind of exercise sneaker. But not just any sneaker…



Something called the TheraShoe! With its Certified Impact Reduction System, I can walk my way to fitness!

Even the illustration of Weird Naked Walking Guy was impressive! Although his coloring…with those shoes? Puh-lease.



The kicker (pun intended) was this shot:



…and although I couldn’t quite grasp the concept of how those shoes would give me that butt, I was SOLD.

My pair are a delicate white-on-white…and although I’m usually not much of a sneaker gal, I was looking forward to “exercising my core glute and leg muscles” just by the simple act of walking. Well, I’m walking anyway…so, why not? I mean, how hard can it be??

Okay. Imagine walking on top of a giant turtle’s shell…but all day long. I must be a total spaz…because each and every time I took a step, I would almost stumble. I was fine as long as I stood perfectly still…but somehow, I’m thinking this may defeat the purpose.

So, I’m re-learning how to walk…and as I sit here typing, I could swear there’s just a little bit of soreness in my derriere…(ooh-la-la!)


Oddyoddyo13 said...

Hehe, I seem to turn around and see those shoes EVERYWHERE. Or, at least, those shoes with different brand names on them. Personally, I was hesitant to buy them, but your testimony makes me that much less doubtful! hehe

Slamdunk said...

With your son and jeans--I was the same way growing up and unfortunately have not changed as an adult. It is a good thing that I have a patient Mrs.

Gavin said...

I've seen those shoes and have often wondered how the hell one was supposed to walk normally in them. XD I guess you don't. So I suppose that's the secret to how they work. You have to use all those muscles just to stay balanced. XD

injaynesworld said...

See... I could have saved you time, money and a sore ass had you just read this first...

http://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/2010/03/injaynesworld-much-has-been-made-of-my.html

BlackLOG said...

My friend Lisa wore those very shoes (OK not the ones in the advert but a very similar pair) when we went Skiing recently (No not when she was on the slopes). Since she fell over a lot, both on and off the slopes I can confirm that Weird Naked Walking Guys colouring is ground and other object impact marks i.e bruising, true it's odd colour for bruising but it's probably the filter they used in the shoot. Face it I don't believe he is really that white in real life. The filter also seems to have removed all his hair (Apologies if he has alopecia) and his last turkey in the shop bits.

brite said...

Bravo for trying these out. Let us know if they actually work...my butt could use some...er...toning.

....Petty Witter said...

Not just boys - in my experience men are exactly the same in their reluctance to shop.

ValleyWriter said...

My husband - at 37 - still won't try stuff on. And I don't think he knows what size he is either. Hence, the brand new pair of expensive, too-small Ralph Lauren pants hanging in his closet. He spilled something on his pants during a business trip, so went out to the closest store and bought these. Then, got back to his hotel, figured out that they didn't fit, and washed his original pants. (Um, why didn't you try that in the first place? And why didn't you return the ill fitting pants???? MEN!!)

nashashibi said...

So do you recommend such shoes or not?

Lauren said...

Try skipping! Years ago I found I could skip/run in heels when I could barely stand in them. (Lauren does not accept any responsibility for injuries caused by those persons taking her advice with regards to high heels, skipping or Kathryn's weird turtle shoes.)Good luck!

Spot said...

See, Sean has to go with me because he's very picky and likes to be stylish, but not too stylish. It's awful.

Hahahahahaha. Sorry, picturing you stumbling around makes me giggle. I'm staying way away from those shoes. I've had enough ER visits lately.

♥Spot

Bernadine said...

Hi Kathryn

I don't know how you can get a butt like that with that kind of sneaker too you know. :)

People will do anything to sell their product I suppose. :)

You should enjoy your weekend Kathryn :)

Lynn said...

It's funny, because I read your post this morning, then noticed a pair of the shoes this afternoon. You will HAVE to tell us how they work. Boring comment. Sorry!

Lynn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Wendy Blum said...

Hey, I have a pair of the Sketchers Shape-Ups. My friends at work made fun of me. So, I work out at home in them. They aren't too hard to walk in. But they do feel squishy and kind of like walking on a Bosu ball. Exercising in them I can feel my body trying to stay stable so I really can feel my legs and butt working during and after the workout. Will they give me a Victoria Secret Super Model tush? Legs? Doubtful.
But whatever inspires us to exercise can't be bad =)
PS. I saw the pic of your leg here and I WISH my legs looked like yours. I have short squatty legs and baby hippo thighs. Really Kathryn, I don't think you need these shoes. If they make you happy though...=)

Carol said...

For me, the butt improvement would be outweighed by the nose I would break when I fell. Good luck and tight glutes!

BernadetteMoss said...

I can only imagine the myriad of activities that could be done with these groundbreaking, or rather, foot breaking sneakers.

And the caption on that disclaimer should read: "Not Kathryn's Butt YET" ;)

Alan W. Davidson said...

Our 14yr old boy is of the same disposition. A big fight to try on clothes (somehow interferes with the precious gaming time, I think). If only a shapely butt was as simple as a new pair of shoes...hmm, wonder if Theraboots will help my gut?

snoble24 said...

yeah i have heard those things are really hard to walk in. iv also heard they do tone you up when you do walk in them though.there like constintly walking up a hill.it is suppossed to really make you loose some flab. hope it helps you.im not saying your flabby or anything just what its supposed to do

ModernMom said...

Those shoes seem to be the wave pf the future! Ive got my eye on some sketchers with the same philosophy!

Jerry said...

A Podiatrist once recommended some sort of weird inserts for my shoes that would be healthy for my feet and make me feel better walking. Without hesitation, I bought them. After all, they were Podiatrist recommended.

Did I tell you that the doctor sold them right out of his office?

Absolute torture to wear them. I tried for two days then stuck them in back of the drawer. (Oh yea, they were specially fitted so non-returnable.)

dailyseeking said...

I have a friend that swears by them; she says she can tell a difference! I don't know--I'll let you try them out awhile--keep us posted.

uo-chan said...

yeah we had to walk alot in japan and it was getting better every day because we walked every where im sure you'll get used to it like i did ^-^ it'll just well take more time with you i use to be that way as well and now i just bump into things kinda silly he he

Fierce said...

You feel the burn just from sitting down? Wow, those have got to be some epic shoes! Or maybe that's just the power of suggestion at work. If it's a result of mind-over-matter, keep on suggesting, Kathryn! Y'might even wanna get some subliminal messages made for yourself while you're at it.

Enjoy your next stumble, I mean walk.

:)
xoxo

Sports15 said...

haha i got those shoes for Christmas and wore them all day while walking around Disneyland and was sore for two days afterward! hope u got your money's worth, as i know i sure did lol.

Jen said...

I say throw them away! What effect are they having on your knees?

kathryn said...

Oddyoddyo13: Hey...ya never know. I'm afraid the jury's still out on how much benefit they have but at least I'm not stumbling as much anymore...

Slamdunk: Sigh. Well, then I'll just have to wait for the day when the future Mrs. to my boys can take over this thankless chore. I wouldn't mind it so much if the person I was buying for never changed size....that's the considerate thing to do.

Gavin: You're absolutely RIGHT! I don't know why that didn't occur to me! It's such a freak against nature, you have to use all your energy just to stay upright. You are a freakin' genius, Gav!!

kathryn said...

injaynesworld: So, basically you're saying that an artificial ass would be better than walking (stumbling...er, rocking & rolling) my way to one?

BlackLOG: I KNOW! I do believe you've solved the mystery of Weird Naked Walking Guy's odd coloring. And here I thought he might have some strange disease...now I feel much better. I'm still not shaking his hand, though...

brite: Thank you, sweetie. I honestly haven't noticed anything earth-shattering...but I'm not falling down as much. I'll keep you posted.

kathryn said...

...Petty Witter: Oh, yeah. Again, I wouldn't mind so much if their sizes didn't change. No woman wants to shop for her guy to discover he's put on a few pounds and the pants don't fit, ya know? We have to draw the line somewhere!

ValleyWriter: Oh, no! That is a typical guy-story, sweetie! WHY? Why won't guys just try it on while they're there? It's practical...and saves time and money. WHY??

nashashibi: Good question! Honestly, the jury's still out. I've been wearing them for about 10 days now and I've just figured out how to NOT FALL. Coming off carpeting onto a hard surface almost did me in several times. I'll have to keep you posted.

kathryn said...

Lauren: HA! "Kathryn's weird turtle-shoes"...you DO realize I'm always gonna think of them this way from now on...don't you? Love it! If I ever master walking again, I'll (maybe) (possibly) try skipping.

Spot: Yes, honey...I'd stay away. I thought I'd mastered walking, till I realized that every transition from carpet to hardwood left me shaky. Odd...very odd.

Bernadine: I just don't know. That ad said it would even help with abs...how is that even possible?? Oh, well. If nothing else, I needed a new pair of clean sneaks.
Hope your weekend was great too!

kathryn said...

Lynn: Aw, honey...not boring. You're talking to me. I'm honestly trying to tell if they work. I mean, I want 'em to work...but I don't know if they really work. Aw, hell...I'll give 'em another week.

Wendy Blum: Aw. Thanks, sweetie. Yes, my legs are my favorite feature...and I'd like to keep 'em that way! I cannot believe you exercise in these things! I'm so impressed! But, I'll bet the Sketchers are better...I'm not getting squishy with these...I'm still thinking turtle shell. But, you're right...if it puts you in the right frame of mind, then we're golden.

Carol: HA! Too funny...and yet, very probable I think. I'm surprised these things don't come with some kind of warning. It's the old "buyers beware".

kathryn said...

BernadetteMoss: Oh, you are SO RIGHT! I wish I'd thought of that...HA! (Love your remark about the "ground-breaking, er, foot breaking sneakers") Fabulous!

Alan W. Davidson: Well, you're a guy...did you grow out of this phase? I mean, you sound like a reasonable, intelligent man. Do you try on clothing...in the store...before you purchase it? We want to know. (No pressure or anything)

snoble24: I hear what you're saying sweetie. Yeah, well...that's why I bought 'em. I don't mind if my regular walking is a little harder than usual...I can live w/that.

kathryn said...

ModernMom: I'm loving the idea...not sure if maybe I'm so tentative that I'm not using them to their full potential. Yeah, maybe that's my problem...

Jerry: Oh, man! What a rip-off! Why do they have to do that? I'll bet if you ever need a podiatrist, you'll find a new one, right? That would annoy the crap out of me. Seriously. You want me to call someone? I know people.

dailyseeking: I definitely will keep you posted. I can't be sure of anything just yet!

kathryn said...

uo-chan: I'm sure I'll get the hang of it sooner or later. It would be great if they worked, right?

Fierce: HA! My next stumble....HA! No, the burn wasn't from sitting down...it was from all that hard work leading up to sitting down. IE: All that...well, walking? Okay, stumbling...

Sports15: WOW! So you DID notice a difference! Maybe THAT'S what I'm doing wrong...I need to get myself some Mickey!

kathryn said...

Jen: HA! Nothing with the knees...yet. I'm trying to give them the benefit of the doubt. If I break something (in my house or on ME) then they're outta here!

~:C:~ said...

Oooh! I have a pair of the MBT ones and once you've re-learned how to walk, they're heavenly! : )

kathryn said...

~:C:~ Oh, EXCELLENT. Great to know! I'm slowly learning how to transition from soft surfaces to hard ones w/o stumbling...I'm getting there!

Heather said...

LOL! I would have soreness in my derriere all right, but it would be from falling on it over and over again! LOL!

kathryn said...

Heather: HA! Yeah, well...that sleep deprivation isn't good for balance, ya know! We'll both do better with some serious zzzzzs....

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