Sunday, January 3, 2010

Three Months...and Counting

Today, we awoke to a blizzard.

We’d had no clue it was going to snow again.

Connor (12) had no desire to create new snowmen.

Dear God: Please make it stop…for the sake of my dwindling rock salt inventory….amen.

After the obligatory cursing and whining, I put on our LOCALTRAFFICANDWEATHER. Surely, THEY’LL bring some sanity, logic and validation to this remarkably astonishing weather-situation:

“Hello! This is meteorologist Jeff Mendleson with your up-to-the-minute-weather conditions…”

Kathryn: “Oh, good. I loooove Jeff Mendleson. He’s such a sweetie. He’ll make sense of this mess.”

Of course, I’ve never actually seen Jeff Mendleson….nor do I know him personally. But I know his voice…and surely that accounts for something.

Jeff talks about weather patterns….blah, blah…..moving north to south….yada, yada….and then he casually remarks that there’s a possibility of some flurries during the day.

Flurries.

Is he freakin’ kidding me?

Actually, my exact words were more like, “WTF? Is this guy for real? (Yells at tv screen) What freakin’ planet are you on, Jeff? You could’ve looked out the window….you could’ve been somebody….but noooooooo…you’re just like all the rest. Freakin’ idiot. We're breaking up.”

And I click off the tv...dramatically shoving the remote in the general direction of said tv. (The universal-Italian-tv-remote-symbol for "you don't mess with ME".)

I find my Blackberry. Click the app for The Weather Channel. It says 1-3” north and west of the city. I glance outside. It’s snowing so hard, I can’t see across the street. Meteorologist-Kathryn thinks these guys must be forecasting the weather from some resort in The Bahamas….’cause there’s no way they’re looking outside and seeing what I’m seeing.

That’s when I begin to question both my sanity…and the weather pattern for our little hamlet in the valley. Maybe we’re the only ones getting this shit snow…maybe four miles down the road, there’s…nothing. How freaky would that be?? (Cue Twilight Zone music here)

Was I concerned? You betcha.

Did I call anyone to verify my suspicions?? Nope.

Instead, I jumped online in my jammies and decided it was time to do a little BLOGCENTERING. BLOGCENTERING is where you find yourself becoming slightly more manic each and every time you see your sidebar icons all askew…and seriously…who has the time to Google, research, copy, paste, backup and finally attempt to make these codes work?

But, Ron’s “VENT” logo was leaning to the left…and Clinton’s photo was awry…and then I realized that I was uber-bored with my feed logo…

…and so the day progressed….as yours truly got sucked deeper and deeper into the HTML abyss…whilst outside it snowed…and snowed….and…well, you get the idea.

By the time I came up for air, it was six hours later….and we had approximately eight inches on the ground…and it was still snowing.

Kathryn: “Surely Jeff’s risen in the ranks from Idiot-dom to some micro-level of intelligence, or so help me God I’m revoking his meteorologist’s license. Otherwise, he’s just messing with people’s heads…and that is simply unacceptable.”

“Hello! This is meteorologist Jeff Mendleson with your up-to-the-minute-weather conditions…”

All I’ll say is that the man is still freakin’ clueless.

Ten inches….and counting….


Ron said...

oooo...oooo...I'm lovin' all the changes you made on your blog!

I freakin' love your cool-looking logo. And the feedburner logo is awesome!

You GO, girl!

I need to email you about how you got your sidebar photos to center because I've never known how to do that. I also like how you've added your comments to the sidebar.

I'm still freaking out about how much snow you got today. Like I shared in my email, we got some flurries but nothing like what you got - HOLY COW - it looks like Antarctica!

Have you seen any penguins?

HAHAAHHAHAAHHA!

Stay warm and cozy, my friend!

xoxoxo

Kathryn said...

RON! Now, now....it's not nice to mess with the snow-lady...'specially when we know the snow-lady is gonna lose her marbles sometime in the forseeable future...Thanks for the kudos on the changes...I've still got a long way to go! (I'm de-cluttered about 4" down...that's something, right?) I'm happy to share my wealth of knowledge from 7 hours+ of Googling! What else are you gonna do on a day like this? xoxo!

Alicia said...

Kathryn,
I feel so bad for you. I've only seen it snow once in my life and I've never built a snowman and I've only driven in snow once in my life and I don't even know why you need rock-salt. I have some sea-salt I can send you if that helps. I also love cumin and paprika. Not sure what you're cooking but I'll do all I can to help :-)

Sending you some California sunshine! Did you know it was 80 degrees at the Rose Parade in Pasadena on New Years Day?

Be strong my friend!

Kristen said...

Oh, yay, I thought I was the only one counting down the days until winter is over and spring will finally be here! (even though that means a muddy, rainy mess it still is better than dealing with ice and mounds of snow). Oh and I pretty much detest meterologists this time of year. They smile with their blindingly white teeth and announce with delight how many inches we will get and how treacherous the roads will be. Augh.

Lou said...

Chin up girl, as long as you're all warm and dry and have food in the fridge then all is well with the world. Remind me of that when I'm bitchin' about never ending wind and rain in 6 months.

Tina said...

But its perfect blogging weather!

Smileyfreak said...

Love the blog!! :) No snow here in Nowhere,just cold...very cold. I hope Jeff returns to his senses! and soon! for your sanity's sake at least ;) lol oj

Fierce said...

*dramatic gasp* you're breaking up with Jeff Meddleson??!! Oh well, I guess Clinton will have to do as your meteorologist since Jeff is obviously too busy in The Bahamas sipping cloudy (or it could be margaritas but that's not the point) and messing with poor Kathryn until she begins to obsess about the centering of her sidebar photos.
If it was snowing over ONLY your house (or neighborhood) that would be weird. Would you consider that maybe you got shipped to the planet of the giant people while you slept and are now living in a gigantic snow globe? I dunno, I'm just sayin' *shrugs*. I wonder if you get service in a snow globe... hmmmm *in deep thought*.
Enjoy the snow, believe me 8 inches is NOTHING way up north past the border but I'm not complaining... no wait, I am.
:)
xoxo
P.S pretty award for you over at mine

~:C:~ said...

Hey, feel free to exile Mr. Weather to Kuwait - sand storms are absolute (none of that "flurry" crap). LOL

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

i know; we were supposed to only get snow on the cape and islands, and I'm looking at another 8 inches. it didn't really stop once in 3 days. Enough already!
You're so lucky you can mess around with your blog; I have no ability to do any of it.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

i know; we were supposed to only get snow on the cape and islands, and I'm looking at another 8 inches. it didn't really stop once in 3 days. Enough already!
You're so lucky you can mess around with your blog; I have no ability to do any of it.

Jen said...

I feel for you but I don't think you have the temps we do here. It's crazy cold and miserable. Arctic frozen tundra miserable and I'm trying to keep my sanity as it is not going to warm up all week. I need to live in the tropics.

ValleyWriter said...

OMG - I thought we were the only ones with idiot forecasters who called for "a chance of flurries" when it's snowing the beat the band. WTF is wrong with those guys???
Anyway - hope you're all shoveled out by now. Let's all hope for an early Spring (say, 1st week in February??)

Ashley S said...

Snow is so beautiful, but I rarely miss it when it is not there. I would like 1 snow day a year, maybe 2. Glad I don't live up norte' anymore! :)

....Petty Witter said...

Another fan of Spring time. All this snow is very pretty if you are able to stay indoors and merely view it through a window. Then again ..... I'm able to do this and still hate the flaming stuff.

Tinkerschnitzel said...

Yup. I'm still on strike as far as winter goes. The high here later this week is supposed to be below freezing. Seriously, I don't think I"m in Texas anymore!

At least you have a lovely view. :)

Spot said...

They were totally idiotic here last week. They kept saying "flurries" when it snowed for three days straight. Also when I checked online, the radar showed nothing over us. I think the weather is just freaky this year. Definitely Twilight Zone-y.

Love the new things on your page!

♥Spot

Gavin said...

I don't even bother watching the weather on the tv. Or the internet. I just look outside and if I like what I see, I might go outside and do something productive instead of sitting here at my computer reading blogs and writing for my own. XD Lovely changes btw, Kathryn. I should probably change my layout too. XD

Kindle-Sprite said...

I didn't get 10 inches, but jeez, I was really complaining about the 4 inches we received on Saturday!

Allegria said...

It's snowing here, too. And the schools are closed. As much as I love my children, I was sooo ready to send Julia to school today. And she was all set to go! Instead, we're inside (when the kids aren't out playing in the white stuff) wondering how to fill the day.

Want to get together and make hot chocolate? And not the stir in kind. We're talking abuelita with the real chocolate blocks melted in hot milk. Whole. Milk. And cinnamon. I think after being snowed in like this, we deserve it. And the calories simply cannot count. It would be too cruel.

saku chan said...

i needed a laugh today thank you so much for your histerical and down right funny blogs you trully mad my day i have bad news to tell you my cat i have had sence she was a kitten died on new years eve even though she lived with my uncle i still called her mine and she was my cat she would let me hold her like a baby and never get mad her tail would twitch but she wouldnt scratch theres a video decated on my blog to her injoy it

Straight Guy said...

I'm one of the freaks always hoping we get more than predicted. I like the snow and getting snowed-in.

It's clear by now that you are in your own zone. Take that as you will, but hopefully as a compliment.

Straight Guy said...

I should add that the problem with snow is that compared to rain accumulation increases by a factor of 10 or 12. That one inch of rain = 1 foot of snow. Makes predicting amounts touchy and tricky. No one complains when they predict 1/4 inch of rain and you end up with 1/2. But when they predict 3 inches of snow and you get 8, everyone goes nuts. Doesn't excuse the blizzard/flurry misfire, but just sayin....

book*addict said...

=(...commentless...i've spent the last hour commenting on your past...1,2,3....6 posts. so..GO READ THEM, because i know you love to hear my voice. Yes, you have put a voice to my face, i mean name, i mean user name. because obviously book*addict isn't my name...or is it?

Kathryn said...

Alicia: Hey, doll! The snow is nothing to write home about...it's cold...it's wet...it's slippery. It screws up your plans and a 50-lb bag of rock salt will melt about a 4'X4' square of my driveway. I'm not wasting some perfectly good sea salt, cumin & paprika on the stupid snow! It's better if I burn it on my stove...like the good (!) little cook I am. We got the sunshine today! Thanks, sweetie!

Kristen: Yes! What is it with those blindingly-white teeth? And they usually have a TAN, as well....that's why I'm questioning their whereabouts...

Lou: Uh-huh....easy for YOU to say! You, with the summer breezes and dips in the ocean. (Gee...I guess you and I will never truly get to bitch at the same time, right?)

Kathryn said...

Tina: This is true! But I could blog a hell of a lot better if my fingers and toes weren't constantly thawing out!

Smileyfreak: Thanks, sweetie! No snow? Lucky....you can't slip on just COLD. Bundle up! Jeff's gonna have to earn my trust again!

Fierce: Oh, honey! You really DO listen to me....(sniff, sniff) I feel soooo special! I'm LOVING the giant snow globe theory...and it would explain my crappy service....I'm on my way to YOUR place!

Kathryn said...

~:C:~ Oh! I'm LIKING that idea. "Hello, Jeff? Got a new assignment for ya....seeing as we've broken up and all...it's probably better if we don't reside in the same state...."

Maureen@IslandRoar: "Enough already" is right! Why does this season get to last almost half the freakin' year, anyway??

Jen: Well, I need to be with you...seriously! WHY do we live where we live? I can't remember WHY...I think my memories are frozen.

Kathryn said...

ValleyWriter: Oh...from your mouth, doll! First week of Feb. at the latest! We'll welcome spring right before that stupid groundhog!

Ashley S: I hear that. I'd even be generous enough to allow a whole 3 snow days a year. That would do me just fine!

...Petty Witter: Ya know...it's pretty the first, maybe even the second time...but after that it's a PITA. Just screws everything up!

Kathryn said...

Tinkerschnitzel: Nope...that doesn't sound like Texas to me! I'm with you, honey....raise that picket sign a little higher...I don't think Mother Nature can see us yet!

Spot: Thanks, sweetie! So, you've got useless meteorologists there as well? That's exactly what happened here over the past 4 days....creepy!

Gavin: You just look outside? Then, how do you do the mad dash for bread and milk and eggs and pistachios??

Kathryn said...

Kindle-Sprite: I feel your pain. ANY snow is too much...at this point, it's just rubbing salt into the wound!

Allegria: Oh, my....that sounds sooo good to me! And YES...the anti-caloric-time-continuum would have to apply!

saku chan: Oh, honey...I'm so sorry!
I'm on my way to your place now.

Kathryn said...

Straight Guy: Believe it or not, I actually knew this fact about 1" rain=12" snow. Probably picked it up so I could say "Well, it could be worse...it could've been 24" of snow." I get that it's not an exact science...but a dusting does not equal 10"!!

book*addict: I'm so sorry, sweetie!! I have gotten perilously behind...I'm seriously considering not posting anything new till I'm caught up on comments.

saku chan said...

is a qwesy stomache and headache at the same time depression and everything remind you of that something depressing just asking ..........................

Heather said...

Nice changes! Sorry your snowed in.

Kathryn said...

saku chan: I know, sweetie. Only time will make it not hurt as much...

Heather: Thanks! It took a few days, but we're OUT! (Finally!)

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Oh you can do the "send the snow my way dance" I am one of those "weird" people that love snow, the more the better.

Picture Imperfect said...

TEN INCHES???!!! Oh mah goodness Kathryn, did you call out the National Guard?

LOL... I'm not even kidding. 10 inches is A LOT of snow. We never get that much at one time here and I live in the friggin Arctic.

Hang in there. Hope you have lots of canned goods. ;o)

Kathryn said...

WannabeVirginiaW: "OW!!!" (Mimics knife being stuck into heart...dramatically falls to floor...)

SMOOG: Yeah, I thought Taylor was gonna have a coronary! (He insisted he could handle shoveling this year. I guess the joke's on him, huh??)

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