Sunday, December 13, 2009

Overdrive

I’ve overheard some people, who shall remain nameless (you know who you are)…comment that I tend to be somewhat….random…with my topics.

To which I retort, “I do not believe I’m any more random than anyone else, on any given day, at any particular moment. Life…is...random. If you honestly believe that your life is less random than anything you read here, then you are in serious denial, my friend.

De. Ni. Al.

The weekend was spent in a flurry of activities…some enjoyable…some…not so much. Saturday was the nicer of the two days, weatherwise. Connor headed outside to give Bubba and Eugene some cosmetic surgery, as they were looking a little…tired. It was pretty cold out there…and since Connor will no longer let me dress him like this


…I had to cut him some maternal slack and give him an hour. Whilst he attempted to perform some serious facial reconstruction on Bubba, I was busy doing some much-needed laundry.

Now. We all know how b-o-r-i-n-g laundry can be, so it helps if you can use your iPod to break the monotony.

So. I bring the laundry down the stairs. I begin the washer. The song “Shattered” by O.A.R. comes on.

I break into

“How many times can I break till I shatter~
Over the line…can’t define what I’m after~
I always….turn the car around”

…and I’m singing. I realize that I’ve forgotten the dishtowels from the kitchen for the wash…so, I head back upstairs.

“Give me a break, let me make my own patter~
All that it takes is some time, but I’m shattered~
I alllllwaaaaaays….turn the car aroooooound”

…and I walk (okay, so maybe I boogie) down the stairs to add the towels to the load.

As I step onto the lower landing, I’m struck by a waft of freezing air and my thoughts drift for a second to Connor, who’s still outside and has undoubtedly left the garage door wide open.

At this point, my imagination warps into overdrive. I’m still singing….I’m throwing the towels into the washer…and I’m imagining the MOTHER of horror movies:

Set scene:

(Clueless) Mom is doing her laundry and singing…..loud music blaring….she’s oblivious….
Outside, Boy is intent on repairing his slowly-melting snow-couple…everything appears normal…

CUT TO:
(StillClueless) Mom walking up the stairs….stomping her feet in time to the beat of the song that’s blaring all around her

CUT TO:
BOY senses something behind him and turns in HORROR…eyes open wide…just as (never- before-seen-in-this-here-parts) WOLF bears down on him

(hey...it could happen...you never know.)

CUT TO:
(WTFHowCluelessCanSheBe?) Mom is ignorantly emptying the dishwasher…still singing, but now it’s “Whatever It Takes” by Lighthouse….

“A strangled smile fell from your face~
Oh, it kills me that I hurt you this way~
The worst part is that I didn’t even know~
Now, there’s a million reasons for you to gooooo…….”

CUT TO:
BOY wrestles with GIANT WOLF….grabs stick out of Bubba-snowman's body and proceeds to beat on the attacking animal, whilst SCREAMING FOR HELP

CUT TO:
(TheWorstFreakin’MostUnawareWomanThatEverLived) Mom who’s finished unloading the dishwasher and is wiping down the counter

CUT TO:
BOY flings ENORMOUS, RABID WOLF off him, throws Eugene's carrot nose at the beast and runs like hell for the house…wondering what he ever did to have such a SHOCKING, TERRIBLE, IRRESPONSIBLE parent as the

MOM who’s frozen at the top of the stairs…a look of confused dread and utter horror on her unseeing face…as this imaginary scene unfolds in her head.

For it's only in her head.....but now, I can't shake it.

I made Connor come in the house immediately….he still doesn’t understand exactly why...

Bubba and Eugene are still recovering as of this evening:


Lou said...

OMg i know just what you mean Kathryn. Sometimes my imagination runs wild like that and I freak myself out totally.

Lou said...

PS love the snow - thought my eyes were going for a minute

BlackLOG said...

Being accused of random comments, you should take that as a compliment. What do people want? safe dull blogging.

Keep them coming I say, the more random the better. Although I must admit having been out of blog world for a couple of days it took me a while to work out who Bubba and Eugene were. Ok it was only when I saw the photo all became clear. I had started to think that Conner had become a plastic surgeon “Whilst he attempted to perform some serious facial reconstruction on Bubba” At one point I thought I had done a Rip van Winkle and slept through Connors medical education….

book*addict said...

oh this post makes me so happy...well, in the sense that I'm not the only one whose imagination goes wild.....My imagination is just SO good, that I can't even run up the stairs becasue I feel like that by me running its because something is chasing me from downstairs. jajajaja, yeah, ridiculous, i know. But I can't help my thoughts, they just play things out.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Yeah, sometimes the brain needs a really short leash, huh?
And random? You? Duh! That's why we love you...

Gingerella said...

There's something wrong with random? Good grief, if people are looking for a topic blog they can just go search one out.

It's always good to know that people besides myself let their imaginations run wild to the point of paralyzing fear...my reoccuring one is that the house will catch fire in the middle of the night and we're trying to round up our cats to get them out who of course have scampered to all parts of the house in fear and we have no idea where they are and we frantically search until we're forced to either leave or die with them and then all I can think about is finding their lifeless smoke suffocated bodies afterwards and then I can't sleep until I go around the house and check every single plug and work out escape routes in my head....yep, I know exactly what you mean.

JD at I Do Things said...

That photo of the snow-monsters is probably the scariest thing I've seen all day.

Are those two glowing eyes in the background? A rustling in the woods? A low growl?

RUN! BUBBA AND EUGENE!!!

Wendy Blum said...

Random, no, over imagation, yes! LOL. Love this. Good song choices, too ;)

Noelle said...

Kathryn,
I like your random posts. If you weren't random how would I ever get to know anything about you? You are a fluid and articulate writer; and often crandom critcism such as what you got allows you to be aware that you're getting "their" attention, so keep it up!They don't have to read your blog...and they aren't authorities on anything of importance to you, are they?
I know what you mean about imagining wolves horror etc...we live in bear and elk country and have a four year old who hates orange, so we can't let him out without one of us.
I get it, and now am going to have night terrors!(just kidding)
I think Connor is a phenominal kid, I love Eugene and Bubba! THAT is creative! Keep telling us about your life, please? Thanks Kathryn.

Lauren said...

I was also accused of being random. I prefer it to being accused of witchcraft. I guess that statement proved my point... Anyway, "(WTFHowCluelessCanSheBe?)" made me laugh. Not gonna lie, I was expecting you to be attacked at some point in that fantasy. I'm sure Connor would have saved you... In closing, I would like to point out the difference between the words expected and wanted.

jh said...

I can totally picture the scene like it's in a movie. Great snowman.

Gavin said...

Haha...this was great. I'll sometimes imagine the unthinkable and then spend the rest of the day avoiding certain things. At least I'm not the only one. XD

Poor Bubba and Eugene....Haha...just typing those names makes me laugh.

And accusing you of being random? Dude....how lame....you wouldn't be so awesome if you weren't random. I like the unpredictable. I myself and am much too predictable..maybe that's why I like you so much. XD

-gasps- Followers:596 How dare people leave. D:

Kimberly said...

You are SO not alone in your overactive imagination. I have also imagined the unthinkable happening to my kids. Maybe it is overprotective mother bear syndrome (OMBS - just made that up) we seem to have?

Please keep being random! That way people won't know what your are up to! :)

Kathryn said...

Lou: Oh, I'm soooo glad I'm not the only one! I consider this a major downside to having such an over-active imagination. HA! The snow is fun, right? Just a few flurries...nothin' to worry about....

BlackLOG: Wow! You wud've had to have been sleeping for a l-o-n-g time! Gee...there's college/medical school...his residency...Yikes. I think Bubba wud be a goner by then...

book*addict: I honestly believe that we can't help our imaginations...and I'd *like* to believe that it's what makes us such terrific writers. I just wish I could turn it off sometimes, ya know?? Glad I'm not the only one!

Ron said...

First, about the randomness...

Excuse me??? But who's personal blog isn't random??? I mean, that's the whole point of a personal blog - sheeeesh!

Random is FUN!

Second...this post would make for a GREAT American Werewolf Part 2! And I have a feeling if you and I had known one another as children we would have had two of the most wildest imaginations; making up stories to tell our parents.

My mother always calls me her dramatically imaginative son!

Great post, Kathryn!

Keep that randomness coming!!

xoxo

Kathryn said...

Maureen@IslandRoar: HA! But I don't think I'm any more random than most...am I?? I don't think so! I never know what wonderful post I'll find at your place either!

Gingerella: Wow...you DO know just what I mean! (I love they way you had the run-on sentence for uber-emphasis...I totally GOT it!!)

JD at I Do Things: It's too late for Eugene & Bubba. Besides...Bubba's only got 1 arm and Eugene is officially blind and can't smell the wolf coming. Oh, well.

Wendy Blum: Thank you! It's over-the-top sometimes...I wish I could just hit "stop" in my head!

Noelle: Aw! You've made my day, sweetie! I wonder if we ever get to the point where we're not so thin-skinned re: others opinions of us? (Or when flwgrs #s begin to drop...and I wonder "why?") Da boys think I'm INSANE, but I figure anything's possible and it's probably not wise to have music blaring where I couldn't hear him if he needed me. Simple, basic Mommy 1-0-1 Right??

Lauren: HA! Whoo boy...if the day comes when I'm imagining I'm getting attacked INSIDE the house, I'm seriously in trouble. Let's keep the Giant, Rabid wolves outside for now!

jh: HA! Yeah, they've seen better days. But somehow, I have faith that they'll rise again!

Kathryn said...

Gavin: No, you're definitely not the only one! Don't they LOOK like a "Bubba" and "Eugene"? (Re: 596. I'm glad you feel my pain. Why are they leaving me, dude? What did I do? Wasn't it crazy enough when I hung at 599 for...like, a month??)

ValleyWriter said...

Random is good in my book - keeps us all on our toes! And I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one with an overactive imagination. I can only wonder how much worse it'd be if I had kids. Right now, I just scare the beejesus out of myself!

Jenny said...

OMG, I was totally watching the movie in my head as you were telling it. I'm SO glad you got him in before the wolf showed up. I mean really, that could've been bad in my head.

Kathryn said...

Kimberly: I love that "OMBS"...can we start a club?? It makes me crazy...it's like watching this movie in my head. I guess I have to take the good with the bad.

RON! Thanks for the sweetness, sweetie! Are you exhausted yet?? I've been trying to send some energetic, patient looove your way...only twelve days to go! xoxo

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Random is what makes the world go around. You are an awesome blogger and it worked! What a pleasant surprise thank you.

Dreamfarm Girl said...

What else are we to do with random thoughts like rabid wolf attacks except post them, huh? It's comforting to know we are not alone in these thoughts popping in our heads. (Though yours are lots funnier than mine!)

Gropius said...

The basis for all good blog posts is randomness. HELLO!

Oddyoddyo13 said...

Oh NO. That's not random AT ALL.

snoble24 said...

lol. you have some silly thoughts there girl

Lou said...

Re 596, I feel your pain K. That was weird, I noticed that too.

Fierce said...

Hey! Who dares to call you random! This isn't random, random is me turning on the washing machine, turning around to leave and then realizing I have no idea how the thing works; then tricking the machine into thinking the latch is closed and standing there for 20 mins watching my clothes go swish-swish and pretty bubbles forming; THEN realizing, shit!!! I left my lunch on the cooker! That's why the fire alarm kept going off... okay the fire alarm bit isn't part of the story but you get the idea.
Poor Eugene and Bubba, now even the wolf won't attack them with THOSE looks...
xoxo

Heather said...

What an imagination you have!

Poor Connor, maybe someday he will understand. LOL

Picture Imperfect said...

Random? You? No....

I have a red bike.

Ice cubes are cold.

:o)

Hope you're having an awesome day! :o) ~Smoog

Collette said...

Are their lives so neat & orderly that there is no place for randomness? BORING!
I love your blog! If they want a chronological history, they can uy a book!
I know what you mean about the imagination. I hate thinking bad things will happen but you can't stop the mind from thinking. All we can do is make sure the kids are ok & push those bad thoughts from our minds!

Clandestiny said...

I get those moments where my WAY too vivid imagination gives me some horribleawfulchillingstomachclenching scene involving my children and they so completely SUCK!!!! It just means you're a good mama who loves her baby more than life itself! Hugs from one mama to another!!

Kathryn said...

ValleyWriter: I scare myself too! It's like a film running in my head...and it's so vivid! I think that's why I can't handle scary movies...or sometimes, even the evening news! Too graphic...it haunts me!

Jenny: I know! I'm glad he thought to grab the snowman's arm to use as a weapon...and the carrot was a good diversion, too. Meanwhile, he thinks I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!

WannabeVirginiaW: You're very welcome, sweetie!

DreamfarmGirl: They scare the crap out of me. Thank GAwd they're balanced out by my visions of parties with Clooney & Kelly. Sigh...

Gropius: Ya think? I hope you're right...or I'm in BIG trouble, my friend!

Oddyoddyo13: Well, it's NOT! It's just....the way my brain works!?!

snoble24: Can't seem to help it! Make 'em stop! Pulease!!

Lou: Yeah...well...what am I gonna do? It's stupid to fixate on it. I'd rather it be more about quality over qty...but then, why does it still bother me so much??

Fierce: HA! Yes, you DO win the prize for the most randomness!!
Well, at least you're multi-tasking! Yeah, Eugene & Bubba are just snowmounds now...

Kathryn said...

Heather: I know...I don't know if it's more of a blessing or a curse! I can only hope that one day Connor will understand. Maybe??

SMOOG! I had a blue bike. Remember putting playing cards in the spokes? Connor taught me to play WAR during the blackout. It was cold.

Collette: You're right...we can't give these nightmare-films-in-our-heads any more energy than we have to. Unchecked, this could consume me!

Clandestiny: Thank you! Isn't it awful that such a strong love has to transfer over to such obsessive agony sometimes?? Hugs back....

~:C:~ said...

Why a wolf? I lived with a wolf for 10 years and loved every moment. How about a cat next time? A giant, mangy, feral cat. Of Kuwaiti origins, because I've never seen anything creepier than Kuwaiti street cats. And because my grandma's friend was killed by her cat. True story. We found the body.

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