I’ve overheard some people, who shall remain nameless (you know who you are)…comment that I tend to be somewhat….random…with my topics. Now. We all know how b-o-r-i-n-g laundry can be, so it helps if you can use your iPod to break the monotony. (hey...it could happen...you never know.) For it's only in her head.....but now, I can't shake it.
To which I retort, “I do not believe I’m any more random than anyone else, on any given day, at any particular moment. Life…is...random. If you honestly believe that your life is less random than anything you read here, then you are in serious denial, my friend.”
De. Ni. Al.
The weekend was spent in a flurry of activities…some enjoyable…some…not so much. Saturday was the nicer of the two days, weatherwise. Connor headed outside to give Bubba and Eugene some cosmetic surgery, as they were looking a little…tired. It was pretty cold out there…and since Connor will no longer let me dress him like this
So. I bring the laundry down the stairs. I begin the washer. The song “Shattered” by O.A.R. comes on.
I break into
“How many times can I break till I shatter~
Over the line…can’t define what I’m after~
I always….turn the car around”
…and I’m singing. I realize that I’ve forgotten the dishtowels from the kitchen for the wash…so, I head back upstairs.
“Give me a break, let me make my own patter~
All that it takes is some time, but I’m shattered~
I alllllwaaaaaays….turn the car aroooooound”
…and I walk (okay, so maybe I boogie) down the stairs to add the towels to the load.
As I step onto the lower landing, I’m struck by a waft of freezing air and my thoughts drift for a second to Connor, who’s still outside and has undoubtedly left the garage door wide open.
At this point, my imagination warps into overdrive. I’m still singing….I’m throwing the towels into the washer…and I’m imagining the MOTHER of horror movies:
(Clueless) Mom is doing her laundry and singing…..loud music blaring….she’s oblivious….
Outside, Boy is intent on repairing his slowly-melting snow-couple…everything appears normal…
(StillClueless) Mom walking up the stairs….stomping her feet in time to the beat of the song that’s blaring all around her
BOY senses something behind him and turns in HORROR…eyes open wide…just as (never- before-seen-in-this-here-parts) WOLF bears down on him
(WTFHowCluelessCanSheBe?) Mom is ignorantly emptying the dishwasher…still singing, but now it’s “Whatever It Takes” by Lighthouse….
“A strangled smile fell from your face~
Oh, it kills me that I hurt you this way~
The worst part is that I didn’t even know~
Now, there’s a million reasons for you to gooooo…….”
BOY wrestles with GIANT WOLF….grabs stick out of Bubba-snowman's body and proceeds to beat on the attacking animal, whilst SCREAMING FOR HELP
(TheWorstFreakin’MostUnawareWomanThatEverLived) Mom who’s finished unloading the dishwasher and is wiping down the counter
BOY flings ENORMOUS, RABID WOLF off him, throws Eugene's carrot nose at the beast and runs like hell for the house…wondering what he ever did to have such a SHOCKING, TERRIBLE, IRRESPONSIBLE parent as the
MOM who’s frozen at the top of the stairs…a look of confused dread and utter horror on her unseeing face…as this imaginary scene unfolds in her head.
I made Connor come in the house immediately….he still doesn’t understand exactly why...
Bubba and Eugene are still recovering as of this evening:
Now. We all know how b-o-r-i-n-g laundry can be, so it helps if you can use your iPod to break the monotony.
(hey...it could happen...you never know.)
For it's only in her head.....but now, I can't shake it.