What could this post possibly be about? For once, I will NOT tell you to get your minds out of the gutter. Well, maybe just a little….since everyone’s thinking the obvious. But the truth is, we’ve all faked something at one time or another. I’m not just talking about the Big “O” here…and I’m also not talking about deceit…not lying, per se…just projecting an image or emotion that is other than what your audience may be anticipating.
I strongly feel that “faking it” is totally different from deception, dishonesty or trickery. “Faking it” can be used for everything from sparing someone’s feelings to raising someone’s self-esteem.
And so, I am here to promote “faking it” as the new “truthfulness”…the anti-ruse.
Clinton Kelly (IV): “I hope I’m getting a piece of this. It sounds…intriguing…”
Kathryn: “I suppose…..if you must. It can’t just be about what you’re thinking, though.”
CK: “Why not? If you took a poll of who fakes what particular thing the most often, what would most likely be number one?”
K: “Are we talking about women…or men?”
CK: “What? What diff does that make?”
K: “Well, everyone knows that women are better at faking things than men.”
CK: “What?? How do you figure that? Have you any scientific studies to back up such a blatantly sexist statement?”
K: (Hangs head) “No…no, I don’t. I’m sorry…I was just trying to be funny.”
CK: (Redeemed) “Well. Maybe you should stick to what you’ve researched, kiddo. You should know better.”
K: “PSYCHE! That was me, by the way, faking sincerity and remorse all at the same time.”
CK: “Uh-oh….I don’t care for the way this is going. I've change my mind. I want out.”
K: “Nope. Too late…you had your chance. Now, help me think of examples of ‘Faking It’.”
CK: “Um. How about me faking interest in this topic?”
K: “Oh! Good one! I love it! See that? Now, I’m faking enthusiasm in your faking interest. How’d you like them apples??”
CK: “I can’t believe you’ve come up with so many of these so quickly. You are a freakin’ genius.”
K: “Huh. That was faking surprise, combined with a fake compliment…am I correct?”
CK: “I am so much better at this than you, in case you were not aware.”
K: “Gee. That would be fake bravado…mixed with a little being really full-of-yourself.”
CK: “Isn’t that basically the same thing?”
K “Yeah, but it was worth repeating…’cause I’m way over you being so full of yourself.”
CK: (Lone tear slides silently down his cheek) “I….I don’t know what to say. I’d no idea you’d harbored so much hostility towards me. I’m at a complete loss here…. I thought you cared.”
K: (Eyes suspiciously) “Uh huh. That would be fake tears with a terrible impression of fake helplessness thrown in, just to show off.”
CK: “How about this? I’ll name ten ‘fake’ things in ten seconds and you’ll let me off the hook for the rest of the day. Deal?”
K: “Bring it on.”
CK: “Okay…we have fake: nails, boobs, fur, leather, designer fashion, Rolex’s, wood decks, suede, hair and diamonds.”
K: “Wow. I guess that just about covers it. Ten of 'em, anyway.”
CK: (Fake smiles) “I like your tan, by the way.”
K: “HEY. This tan is the real deal! Wait. Is a tanning bed considered a real tan or fake? The rules are unclear on this one….judges??”
K: “SCORE! Awww. I’m sorry, Kelly. Better luck next time….seriously.”
CK: “That’s fake sympathy, right? Got it. What are you planning on fake-cooking for dinner tonight, sweetie? Any ideas”?
K: “What? I’m sorry. I was only fake-listening….”
On the off-chance that some of you may have practiced the art of "faking it", this would be your opportunity to chime in. (I find if you say the word "fake ______", something usually pops into your head...but maybe that's just me.) I'd still love to hear. The stage is all yours!