Wednesday, October 28, 2009

24 Little Hours

I do declare that I want today to be over. Finis…..done….kaput.

If yesterday was the splinter in my finger, today was more like passing a kidney stone.

It was a dark and stormy night morning. By 7am, there was still no sign of daylight. However, we did have pelting rain, howling winds and temps in the low fifties.

Welcome to late October in New York! Please deposit all flip-flops into 6-month-storage and wave a fond farewell to fireflies, the smell of freshly mowed grass and driving with all the windows down....we're in for a bumpy ride!

It’s 8:30am and I’m finishing up my morning shower. I’ve got the portable heater running, in an attempt to chase away the ever-present chill that is built into the stone tiles in the bath:

Yes, it’s a beautiful bath…but lest we forget, this is a rental. This does not take away its beautifulness….it simply means I’m only borrowing.

The house was a whopping 62 degrees and I’d opted to use the space heater in the master and the 2nd one in the bath...just to get me up and out the door. No sense in heating up the entire upstairs just for little ole me, right?

Riiiiight.

However, upon exiting the shower the power went out. It got very dark…and very COLD.

All I could manage was a strangled “Eeeek!” I waited for the power to return. It did not.

I quickly dressed and checked my watch. I’ve got one hour before I have to leave for a meeting. A meeting that’s 47 minutes away. Approximately. Give or take...a monsoon or two.

Only now, I can’t dry my hair. No matter. It’s raining cats ‘n dogs out there anyway. And the rain is coming down sideways, so you know that no umbrella can withstand that.

I go to apply my makeup but I can’t see anything because it’s a lighted makeup mirror….minus the light.

Ahhh. We see the pattern emerging....no??

I think of poor Connor (12), on his middle-school trip to Manhattan in this torrential rain. That’s when I realize that if the power’s out, we have no telephone. All our phones are cordless, so even though we have an emergency backup battery on the cable modem, I still can’t make/receive a call. I make sure my cell is turned all the way up and I finish getting ready. I can’t do any more about the phone.

I’m gonna be late. As I lean down to retrieve my dropped earring, I feel a gush and realize I’ve got a whopper of a nose bleed. That’s another thing I love about winter….all that dry air in the house makes us susceptible to nose bleeds. Only I don’t have time for this and is that blood on my blouse?

Crap! Crap! Dammit! Now, I’m officially late. I stuff wads of tissue in both nostrils, quickly change my blouse, grab my bag, unplug the heaters, hope all the lights are off and run down the stairs and into the garage. I throw my jacket onto the passenger seat, plug in my cell, hit the button for the navigation system and simultaneously start the car as I hit the button for the garage door opener.

Only there’s no power.

Chid! Chid! Chid!” I yell. I can’t swear properly ‘cause I’ve got the equivalent to 5 tissues stuffed up my nose. I turn off the engine. I get out of the car. I stare at the garage door.

Opet choo spupit doah!” I shout. I am met with silence….complete and utter silence.

Oh, chamin…dis iz umbelievabbbl” I shout, waving my arms like a half-crazed maniac…which I suddenly realize I probably am. Now, I’m half-laughing half-crying and it’s coming out like a bark and that’s when I spot the red pull cord on the ceiling and I jump up and PULL and I hear *CLICK!!* and then I can manually open the heavy, dirty door. There’s water, and dirt and slime on the bottom of this door, but I don’t care ‘cause “Ahm fwee!!”

I back the car out of the garage and then I hit the button for the door to close.

I am a complete idiot….yes, I am. At least I'm consistent.

The remainder of the day was relatively uneventful….but extremely wet. My nose cooperated, I was only 15 minutes late for the meeting (everyone else was late, too) and my repeated requests to Connor for details about his trip were met with one-word responses. All I got was “fine”, “long” and “boring” as descriptive words. We arrived home to a house complete with power.

It’s 8:45pm now and I’m officially declaring this day to be OVER. My car is back in the garage.

However, I still can’t figure out how to make the door open again automatically….it goes through the motions, makes the noise…but the door remains steadfastly open/closed.

Suggestions? Anyone? C’mon…don’t make me look for the manual, dammit!

Lauren said...

Totally wish I could help with that garage thing but I have a carport. An open air, lazy man's I didn't feel like putting up walls, carport. Pull the cord again? That would probably be too easy. It sounds like you had a horrible morning. -offers cookie- I like cookies... I'm glad you go fwee! That was my favourite part. hehe! Do I get an A for commenting so quickly?

Insanity said...

Hmm...that happened to my garage door a while back. But I can't remember what was wrong with it. I think it had something to do with a motor part or something. Like it was stuck or wore out. Either way it wasn't expensive to fix. Yeah, I know, not much help there.

Bonnie, Original Art Studio said...

Dis was bwery, bwery, fwunny!! Well your description of it was - I'm sure it was not funny while it was happening. Surely, tomorrow will be a better day for you. Hang on!

Alicia said...

Wow Kathryn what an insane way to start your morning. I can't believe you actually made it to the meeting. I would have bailed!

Did you maybe try unplugging and replugging the power to the door? That may reset it. Good luck and I hope tomorrow goes better.

Clandestiny said...

I can't claim any credit at all for this answer(but thankfully that lets me out of any blame if any should come, heh) My very mechanically inclined spouse says:

"The pull cord releases the bracket holding the door to the door opener. Get on a stepladder, take a look, and you should be able to see how to put the bracket back together. Basically it's just some kind of little hook that hooks into the chain that needs to be reset. It's a safety feature built in so you don't get trapped in your garage in a power outage."

That's my spouse for ya! Yep a real comedian there!! Hope it works though!!

f8hasit said...

I've had those days.
I just click myheels three times, twirl in the kitchen and grab a bottle of Grey Goose.
By morning you won't care if the garage door opens or not.
:-)

KellyGrrl said...

It sounds like a terrible day... But I have to say - the phonetic spelling of your shouting with tissue in your nose was too perfect... hahaha I'm still sorry you had a crappy day...

Thaydra said...

What is it with 12-year old boys and their one-word answers to everything?! It could be the most incredible day they've ever had, and they'll just say (in monotone, mind you) that it was "fine'. Aaargh!

I'm sorry your day was so crappy, but at least it entertained us! And it's over, so now you can dry your hair, and make some hot tea (or a bloody mary) and relax!

WannabeVirginia W. said...

It sounds like a really crappy day. I laughed at the visuals with the Kleenex in both nostrils and yelling at the garage door. Clandestiny's suggestion sound legit :) Be careful on that ladder.

saku chan said...

omg lol that is really funny cus we are having rain here to (all the time) i would kick the garage until it opened if you have a puller thingy then use that but sence theres no power then i dont know what to tell you sorry T.T not much help here ^^

Ron said...

OMG...I got a nose bleed just from reading this!!!

Oy chee mamba....what a day!

Ok, maybe I'm insane...but what did you mean by the bathtub being a "rental?" Did you mean the whole house or the tub? I didn't think you could rent a tub...or can you?

I wish I could give you a suggestion for fixing the car garage door, but hell...I don't even have a car. And when I did, I could barely remember where the gas tank was!?!? I truly am a city-boy.

Anyway, my friend...hope you're having a wonderful evening!

P.S. BTW...did you get a picture of you with those tissues hanging out of your nose? Just curious.

saku chan said...

oh and about the nose bleed well i feel you i got cold during a con and i hade a spontanious nose bleed and it got all over my cosplay outfit grr but lucky it stoped and i had a fun time saying i got shot and survived hehe of course by a dagger cus i was a ninja hehe(lol)

Jan said...

It could be on a computer-like system and need to be re-booted. Unplug, so on...
Just wondering...

Fumbling confidence said...

Tomorrow will surely be better. Still giggling at your accurate spelling of curse words with your nose stuffed. Not even gonna bother with it could have been worse cause it was bad enough. You made me laugh and thus my day was good. Thanks.

Angie

Heather said...

What an aweful morning, glad the rest of the day was better.

I sorry to admit, but the trying to close the garage door with the remote was too funny. LOL moment!

BlackLOG said...

That was a stay in bed day for sure. I would have liked to have been at your meeting with the remnants of bloodied tissue poking out of your nose.

As for your electric garage - with no knowledge of make or even colour*

Is there a reset button?

Is there a way of disengaging the door so that you can use it (now I appreciate that as a New Yawker this next word is going to hurt, so brace yourself, or better still sit down...Ok if you are comfortable) MANUAL**

Sorry did not mean to shout it’s just the over dramatic buildup warranted a bit of emphasis

It can only get better….

* The reference to colour, probably gives you the clue that I am not going to be much help. I was just hoping to take your mind off of the bad day. Mrs B does not mind things not working as long as they are colour co-ordinate

** If it helps think of it as "Cabin doors to manual" as you take a flight to somewhere hot and tropical like Bognor Regis....(which probably means nothing to you, which is just as well. It is a naff English seaside resort with a funny name...)

Cynica Sarcastamos said...

What a day, Girl! I'm sorry to say this (well, not really) but your ridiculously trying day seems to be very entertaining for the rest of us! Well - the way you recount it, anyway... :P Glad you survived it and shared. Lol!

You probably have your garage door fixed by now but if not, know that when you pulled the cord you pulled a 'pin' out of the track. You can replace it when the door is OPEN. Get on the ladder (careful there, Cupcake) and you'll be able to see the pin and how everything lines up.
I hope.

Thursday will be sssso much better!

Runnergirl said...

I hope you can at least look back at it now and laugh - but what a crappy day for you! At least it's nearly the weekend...

dailyseeking said...

I'm sorry; but this started my day with a smile. I could actually visualize everything as you were writing.

Fierce said...

lol... totally understand how you must have felt but if yours was just the morning, try having the entire DAY being a disaster! yup, that's my story but it's a long story and it wouldn't fit into one comment... lol.
About your garage door, I'm gonna say... get out the manual! lol. I would love to help but the problem is I don't actually own a car, talk more of a garage. Good luck.

Gigi said...

Oh. My. Hell! That was hilarious!!! I laughed so hard at Chid, Chid, Chid that I had tears streaming down my face!!

I'm sorry you had a bad day though. Today will be better, I promise.

Maureen@IslandRoar said...

Wow, what a day! I have one "old-school" phone I keep just for blackouts, cuz I live in the boonies and I get freaked out if I can't call SOMEone...
Garage door opener...no clue. You must have a neighbor with one of these who might know?
I sincerely hope this morning started out MUCH better!

jmberrygirl said...

Wow. I feel for you. Been up since 2 a.m. with a nosebleed (first) then stomach trouble and the worst headache. Hope we both have better days...

B-ster said...

What a way to start a day. Kudos for you for making it out into the world without a breakdown! I think my garage door has a hook that attaches to a spring of sorts. I called the neighbor over and he got up on the ladder to fix it.

Gingerella said...

All I can say is....oi! At least you can laugh about it now!

Spot said...

Aw, poor Kathryn. I hope there was a glass of cloudy with your name on it after all that! Because you definately deserved it!

Love the phonetic spellings. This must be the "CRAP keeps happening to me" of which you spoke. Indeed!

still giggling,
♥Spot

Tinkerschnitzel said...

Those are the days where I just go back to bed and to hell with the rest of the world.

Tia said...

I agree yesterday was the day from hell. We woke up with a dead furnace. I wish I could post a picture because there is about 2ft of snow on the ground and we got up to a balmy 25 degrees. 2 trips to Lowe's (for 2 space heaters---one just wasn't enough) and today my new best friend Joe is installing a new furnace. I LOVE heat. Which is kind of funny after I commented on your previous blog about camping in the cold to the sound of the coyotes. I guess I only like the cold when I want it, not when I have no other choice. :)

I hope today is a much better day for you, I am heading back to bed where it is warm, it is a snow day after all. :)

Mark Price said...

What a day! Sorry for the lame comment I'm completely empty of words for some reason.

carissajaded said...

Kathryn. This officially sounds like the worst day ever. I am so sorry girl, but it looks like you had a black cloud! How did it turn out? Did you figure out the cloud! I need an update!

lifelove'n'wine said...

Haha, you poor thing! This is not a good way to start the day. I was laughing at the part with you yelling inside the garage. Too funny.

And I know nothing about garage doors. I've never lived in a place with a garage.

Ann said...

I'm sorry for you that your day was so terrible, but happy for the rest of us that you shared it with us. What did we do to get through life before we had the internet and blogs?

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

I just laughed so hard I cried.

Picture Imperfect said...

Oh my goodness!

Well... the bad news is yesterday was like passing a kidney stone.

The good news is great though...

1. It's OVER! :o)
2. You are a wonderful writer and have entertained many with this story! ;o)

I hope today is better for you sweetie! You deserve it!

JD at I Do Things said...

I don't care what the situation is, from now on, my battle cry of triumph will be:

"Ahm fwee!!"

I agree with that nice dog above me. You really are a wonderful writer. I'm in awe of your talent. And you do this EVERY DAY!

You should put your blog on Barnes & Noble's Krimble site.

saku chan said...

ahm fwee is that even a word ? hehe im still laughing about it and i am showing this to my family nd brother is laughing really hard you are so funny i told him you were and i get five bucks hehe

Kathryn said...

Lauren: Yes, you get an "A". Don't think I didn't try pulling the cord again...it did nothing. I'll take that cookie now.

Insanity: Huh. Either stuck or wore out?? Huh. Are those the technical terms? You're funny!

Bonnie, Original Art Studio: You would be correct. It was NOG SUMMY at all when it was happening. But, then again...it's always funny in hindsight, right?

Alicia: Thanks, sweetie. Yeah, it was pretty insane. You can't make this crap up. Today was MUCH better....thank you!

Clandestiny: THANK YOU, SPOUSE! It was so easy, I'm embarrassed. Just had to climb up and flip the bracket back up and away we went!
Whee!!!

f8hasit: HA! So, I suppose I can use Knob Creek in place of Grey Goose if necessary? I'll take that as a YES!

KellyGrrl: Thanks, sweetie. At the time, it didn't seem so funny...till I really thought about how I sounded & looked!

Thaydra: YES! Boy, you totally get the 12-yo boy syndrome. What IS that? It is SO FRUSTRATING...it's like a switch...set to "OFF".

WannabeVirginiaW: Yep...crappy day. Yep....funny, but ONLY in hindsight. Clandestiny's suggestion worked like a charm!

saku chan: HA! I never thought to kick the door. Wasn't it bad enough I was yelling at it?? I was SO MAD!!

RON! You're a sweetheart for commenting on this rant....esp since you had to listen to me "VENT" in email as well! No, whole house is a rental. I get a lot from ppl "Oooh, what a beautiful bath you have!" and I think, "It's not mine, it's the owner's." So, it's an automatic disclaimer. You really wanted to see two bloodsoaked corks dangling in the middle of my face? Seriously, Ron??
Do ya love me THAT MUCH???
xoxo

Kathryn said...

Saku Chan: Yeah, it's a drag getting a nosebleed. Thankfully, I don't get them often. I should have told people I had a fight with the garage door!

Jan: Ah, yes, the reboot! I do it with everything else, you'd think I'd think to try it here! Luckily, all is back to "normal" (ahem) now.

Fumbling Confidence: Well, then it was worth it. All that stuffy cursing...as long as I made you smile!

Heather: Yeah....admitting I tried to close it automatically from the outside was HARD! It's like when you hit the light switch during an outage...it's automatic.

BlackLog: Nope. No reset. I would NEVER have considered leaving it manual! It's all better now.

Cynica Sarcastamos: How did YOU get to be such a smarty-pants, missy? You nailed it...right down to my wobbling on the kitchen step stool...which, now that I think of it...I shud've used the ladder that was IN the garage....huh.

Runnergirl: Yes, everything is better in hindsight and about halfway through the first glass of wine, right?

dailyseeking: That's okay. I forgive you...as long as I've made you smile. It was worth it, then!

Fierce: Sweetie, your day totally beat mine. We've both earned the weekend!

Gigi: Well, your promise came true. I'd like to know what you'd have done had it not? There would have been hell to pay at your blog! I would have found you, tissues stuck in my nose and all.

Kathryn said...

Maureen@IslandRoar: Thank you...much better now. I've often seen those inexpensive corded phones and thought, "If I were SMART, I'd buy me one of those." Then, I walk right on by.

jmberrygirl: Oh, no! That's terrible! Maybe the barometric pressure? Sinuses? I hope your day today was much better, sweetie-

B-ster: Yes, rough beginning...but fortunately became uneventful from there. I can take it...it helps when you have so many to share it with!

Kathryn said...

Gingerella: HA! Yeah...NOW I can. I wasn't laughing so hard that morning, though!

Spot: Of course there was a glass of Cloudy at the end! I was ready for that glass from 10am on! Well, you have to admit, I do get a lot of CRAP happening to me. It's not Hell-awful stuff, just....crap.

Tinkerschnitzel: I KNOW! That's what I sure felt like doing...but I wud've gotten blood everywhere and my hair was wet. Not a good combo for bed.

Tia: Oh, God....I'm shivering just reading this comment! You poor thing....25 degrees?? Now, THAT'S cold! I think I shud stop complaining...

Kathryn said...

Mark Price: No problem. You're usually so witty, you've got a credit for this one. You're welcome.

carissajaded: Ha! "black cloud"! It turned out fine...it just didn't end till around 8:45 last night, when I poured that first glass of Cloudy. Today, I thankfully got garage door back and all the clocks re-set. Of course, today it was beautiful!

lifelove'n'wine: Ah, it shud be the worst day I ever have! I just could have done w/o it all happening at once, is all I'm saying...

Ann: I know! Even as it's happening, I'm figuring out how I'm going to talk about it to all of YOU!

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt: Aw! I'm glad I've entertained you! I can laugh too...now that it's OVER.

Kathryn said...

Smoog: Thank you! You KNEW it could only go up from there...and it DID.
Today was beautiful and calm. Whatever shall I write about now??

JD at I Do Things: If you try sticking 5 tissues up your nose, and try saying "I'm free!" I do believe that will be the result. Maybe you should check for me? Oh and as promised: Barnes & Noble Krimble??
YOU ARE SOOOOOO MEAN, JD!

Kathryn said...

saku chan: Thank you, sweetie! I'm glad you're making some money off of my crappy day!

Chrissy said...

Oh you poor thing! What a day. Although, the worst things DO make the funniest stories, don't they? I've gone to turn lights on when the power goes out, too.

Sorry, no garage door repair ideas here.

Allegria said...

Have a cuppa. Go to bed. Night!

Allegria said...

Have a cuppa. Go to bed. Night!

Kathryn said...

Chrissy: Thanks, sweetie. I'm glad I'm not the only one who operates out of complete habit and therefore looks like I'm...well, less than an Einstein.

Allegria: Sounds good to me!

Erin@TheLocalsLoveIt said...

The part about sitting on the John Deere was not lost on me. Classic!

Kathryn said...

Erin @TheLocalsLoveIt: HA! I think you may be the only one who caught that!

~:C:~ said...

Our garage door mechanism switched between manual and automatic if we pulled the cord. So... maybe pull it a second time to switch back to automatic??

Kathryn said...

~:C:~ Hey you! So glad to see you! Yes, that's pretty much what I needed to do. I had to climb on the stepstool and snap it up and back into place....I just kept pulling on it and yelling at it. (BTW: Neither one of those actually works)

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