Tuesday, September 29, 2009

New Words?

As a passionate lover of words, I am happy to announce that Merriam-Webster has recently added more than 100 new entries to the latest edition of its Collegiate Dictionary. To see the full list, click here.

Below I shall share some of my favorites, along with their spiffy meanings.Clinton Kelly’s job, (being my IV-who-knows-simply-everything) shall be to further impress you by using said words in extremely complex, albeit spontaneous sentences. Prepare to be amazed.

K: "Clinton! Must you always use every chance you get to promote? Can't you just sit there in your fuzzy slippers, ripped sweatbants and tattered BC cap and chill??"

C: “First of all, I don't own any of the above items. If I did, I would burn them. And what if I don’t want to play? What if I’m not in the mood to-…”

K: Cardioprotective: serving to protect the heart.

C: (Sighs)“It would be cardioprotective of you to include more red wine in your diet and refrain from munching on endless amounts of Jarlsburg with your Cloudy. It would also be cardioprotective of you to check with me before committing my time to such an intellectually taxing endeavor, considering the fact that I was just about to take a very important nap.”

K: “Huh. I do not recall asking for an opinionated sentence…just a spontaneous one. Let’s try this again.”

K: Earmark: a provision in Congressional legislation that allocates a specified amount of money for a specific project, program or organization.

C: “I would respectfully suggest that Congress earmark funds to recall all white cross-trainers and replace them with ballet flats or loafers, respectively. You didn’t hear a word I said before….did you?”

K: “What? Obviously, you’ve mistaken your role in this exercise. Try and do one without including your opinion this time…”

Flash mob: a group of people summoned (as by email or text message) to a designated location at a specified time to perform an indicated action before dispersing.

C: “Attn: Everyone! Flash Mob at 2pm outside Starbucks @ Bdway & Canal. Bring screwdrivers to remove “r, u,c & k” from sign.”

K: “What? You want it to say STABS? Why?”

C: “They screwed up my latte order. Twice. They're going down.”

K: “You honestly can’t do this without having an opinion, can you? Is this what you’re like without a nap? Don’t answer that.”

Frenemy: one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy.

C: “Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Tell your frenemies to go f&*% themselves.”

K: “Woah. Good one. Moving on…”

Memory foam: a dense polyurethane foam that becomes more pliable when in contact with heat.

C: “What? Isn’t your Dormia bed made of that memory foam? ‘Pliable with heat?’ What does that even mean? So, if you have a fever, you’ll sink straight through a-la that scene with Shelley Long in bed from The Money Pit? That has to be some sort of hazard. Where’s your warrantee card?”

K: (Sighs) “I’m not answering you because you’re hysterical. Are you gonna let me finish? There are some good ones coming up and you’re going to have to leave the room if you can’t contain yourself. Take a breath. Better?”

Sock puppet: a false online identity used for deceptive purposes.

C: “A ‘sock puppet’? Like Lamb Chop?

That’s the best they could do? They’ve made it sound downright cute.”

K: “I dunno. Why don’t you go ask them? That is a terrible example sentence, by the way.”

Staycation: a vacation spent at home or nearby.

C: “I know that one….it’s what people do when they travel so much for work that when they actually get some time off, they just want to curl up in the fetal position, watch Rock of Love, eat take out Chinese and try to remember the last time wore a shirt that didn't come out of a suitcase. Staycation.”

K: “Nooooo,it's slumping on the couch in your jammies, eating rocky road ice cream and watching old episodes of Dr. 90210, blocking your vision with the spoon when the gory surgery scenes come on. Not that I've ever done this….”

Vlog: a blog that contains video material.

C: “Just some video? Let me see that list. I want to know if this is considered a ‘vlog’ or a ‘blog’. ‘Vlog’ sounds kinda cheap.”

K: “Whatever….you’re talking out loud, ya know. So, your sentence is: ‘Vlog sounds kinda cheap’? I’ll pass your comment along, but I think they’re still gonna add it…regardless of your misgivings.”

Waterboarding: an interrogation technique in which water is forced into a detainee’s mouth and nose so as to induce the sensation of drowning.

C: “Yikes. We don’t need this defined. I prefer to think of waterboarding as that thing you do when skimming on the water on the shore in a Hawaiian-inspired pair of board shorts.”

K: “Um. That’s skimboarding. Great sentence, though...and I’m totally there. Actually, I’m the one sitting on the beach chair, cheering you on and holding that lovely martini.”

Zip line: a cable suspended above an incline to which a pulley and harness are attached for a rider.

C: “They left out the part about the receding scream heard ‘round the world….fading into a whimper as said ‘zip rider’ lapses into unconsciousness.”

K: “Wow. I gotta tell you. Sometimes, you scare me.”

C: “Just sometimes??”


nikkilee_44 said...

not a huge fan of clinton kelly .. but the lamb sure is cute!! :)-

lifelove'n'wine said...

Oh. My. God. Frenemy and staycation are in the dictionary now? Seriously?

Haha, and I love the part with you scolding Clinton for self-promoting in the middle of your post. Has he no shame?

Kathryn said...

nikkilee_44: Oh! (Pantomimes knife stuck in heart) I can live with that...even tho he makes an excellent companion for my fodder.

lifelove'n'wine: Yes, frenemy and staycation are now officially in the dictionary. It only took them how long??

Clinton will take ANY opportunity to self-promote. It's part of our deal if he's my IV. I just put up with it! Tks for the comment, Jen!

Geeta said...

Haha okay that was hilarious. And I feel as if I did some learning too! I'm going to try and use earmark and flashmob today... :)

jill said...

I love it! I am going to use as many of these in a sentence as possible.

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, CLINTON!

I cannot get behind any recommendation to cease the scarfing of Jarlsberg, with or without wine.

My favorite made-up word? "Jackinine." No, it's not recognized by M-W, but it was invented by my high school boyfriend to describe anyone who drove in a way that displeased him. (Combines: jacka$$ with asinine.)

And whatever happened to "blidget"? That was s'posed to be the version of "widget" only on a blog instead of Web page. Hmmph.

Nice Entrecard ya got there.

Kathryn said...

Geeta: Good girl. You shall earmark some quality time to create a flashmob at your earliest opportunity...no?

jill:Wow! I'd like to hear THAT! Tks for the comment & flw. Visit again soon!

Hey JD1 I loooove Jackinine! Okay, so you remember the word. Do you even remember the guy's name who coined the word? Hmmmm?

Yeah, nice Entrecard! You should try clicking on it...I'm told it takes you to some nudity, or Thai porn...I forget.

Picture Imperfect said...

I'm with LiveLove'n'Wine... frenemy and staycation? Really?

What about Smoogy? (Smoo Gee) That's my own creation. When the sky is not cloudy but not clear... smoogy. (We don't have smog where I live so I had to come up with a new one.)

During forest fire season (matches road construction season here) when it's not *quite* smoky? But you can't quite see clearly either? Smoogy!

MUCH better than frenemy. Tsk.

;o)

Kathryn said...

Picture Imperfect: Hey, I'm with you, Smoogy. (What? I can't use it as a pet name??) I wish "Word" would periodically update their dictionary....they're always "yelling" at me for something.
Thanks for the comment!

Picture Imperfect said...

Haha... werd.... ;o)

YOU Kathryn, as the most fabulous empress of this most fabulous blog, may use smoogy in any fashion you deem appropriate.

It's really quite versatile. 'I am feeling smoogy this morning so I stayed home from work.' 'Oh... weddings... they always make me smoogy.'

Not quite as versatile as the F-Bomb but much more socially acceptable. (so far...)

Kathryn said...

Dear Smoogy,
As the former Queen-for-a-day, I hereby proclaim you as my one-and-only-Smoog, as I am forever looking for singular-syllabic-versions for....well, everything.
It'll be our secret name, so don't tell ANYONE. "Smoogy" will remain a verb. You are SO WISE, Smoog.

Picture Imperfect said...

Haha... our little secret. ;o)
~Smoog

Cornered said...

What is an iv....what you keep calling Clinton. Didn't find it in the dictionary ur the urban one.

Kathryn said...

Cornered,
Sorry sweetie....I USED to link to the story of Clinton being my IV, but I've gotten l-a-z-y. Not your fault you can't find the description...it's my own. Clinton is my "Inner Voice"...started w/fashion, then I heard him chiming in for other things. Now, he's EVERYWHERE. I'm fortunate enough to have the *actual man's* stamp of approval...he says he thinks it's "hilarious. Scary, but hilarious."
Thanks for the comment/flw. Hope to see you again!

JP said...

My word is "Niff"... it's a sort of indignant sniffle...

Like... can't believe Kathryn hasn't emailed me in three days... *niff*

Kathryn said...

Aw, JP...I just DID! And honestly...before I saw this...check da time! Ya gotta believe me!! (PS: Have you joined my little bobble-head flwgrs? I will if YOU will....)
*niff*

JP said...

Am I supposed to know what a bobble-head flwgr is? I'm willing to do anything for a woman with a nice smile.

Gingerella said...

*snicker* :)

Kathryn said...

JP: Look on my side pane where it says "blogbuds in blogville" and there's a flw button. Then you say "follow publicly"...'cause you want the ENTIRE WORLD TO KNOW...then it SHUD show up on your profile that...Oh! Never mind. You already did it. Good boy.

Gingerella: Snicker's good...I'm down w/snicker!

savanah said...

wow =) very nice blogg

Kathryn said...

savanah: Thank you! Appreciate it.

Emma C said...

Hi,

I'm a new reader and luuuurve this blog. Am making a mental list of all my frenemies at the moment. Vlog? Sounds like a Russian blog.

evilteenietiff said...

90210?

I don't watch that, I usually park myself in front of the tv with various romantic comedies, then complain about how perfectly they all turn out~

Kathryn said...

Emma C: Thanks so much for the kind words! You're right...vlog does sound Russian. Stop by anytime...glad you're here!

evilteenietiff: Honey, I don't watch it much...it's gotten really GROSS. But, I get sucked in (pun intended) by the private lives of these plastic surgeons. What a bunch of characters.....I don't pic you as the romantic comedy type! More Simpsons & Family Guy!?

WannabeVirginia W. said...

Ahw, Clinton - LOVE HIM

evilteenietiff said...

haha, Yes simpsons and family guy are usually on the top of my list of things to watch.

Throw in a little bit of Scrubs and maybe some flashy lights and you've got me entertained!

Most don't pick me as the romantic comedy type, they're not really my thing but I don't mind watching them.

Kathryn said...

WannabeVirginiaW: Welcome! Personally, I think he's da bomb. But, I realize he's not for everybody. That's good, because I don't like to share all that much. Thanks for the comment!

evilteenietiff: LOVE Scrubs! Is that still on, or did they cxl it?
I like 2 1/2 men as well...can watch it every night. With movies, I like the comedies the best-a good belly laugh is da BEST.

evilteenietiff said...

It's still on here in Australia, some ridiculous times though, 1 am and 12 noon, I'm either asleep or at work

I think I need to invest in some Scrubtastic DVDs

I like 2 1/2 men too, I love that maid girl, tells it like it is.

Kathryn said...

evilteenietiff: Yeah...Berta's a hoot and a half. My absolute fav, tho is that Psychiatrist. She SLAYS me....she's now on GLEE and she's hilarious.
Every time I hear the song "How to save a life", I think of Scrubs...

susan F said...

Like some of the others, I think it's silly that they add all those words. I wonder why they are so quick to do that?

Kathryn said...

susan F: I've no idea. But some of them are pretty funny, right?

Sara's Whimsy said...

I watch the show and all, but seriously no fuzzy slippers? EVERYONE needs fuzzy slippers. EVERYONE. No matter what.

Seriously, you need to talk to him about this.

Kathryn said...

Sara's Whimsy: He says, "Seriously. No. 'Cause the next thing you know, you're wearing them out to get the mail. Then it's to get milk. So, no."
(I still have mine...shhhhhhh.)

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