Friday, September 18, 2009

Appreciation 1-0-1

I pride myself on being a unique mom. What this means may vary, according to who’s doing the mothering, of course. I’m a big believer in making the little memories…you know…the ones that da boys are required to retain in the back of their hearts from here to eternity...to pull out every now and again after I’ve crossed over to the great beyond and they miss me like nobody’s business.

Which, of course…will be all the time….I mean, come on.

Today marked the end of the first full week of school for da boys and they were exhausted.


I’d timed their arrival (their busses arriving within moments of each other) with my being halfway across our massive, sunny front yard…waiting with Metro on his leash. The plan was to wait till they stepped off the bus and spotted us. Then, Metro and I would run towards them…laughing and happily greeting them…the wind playfully ruffling through our hair…Metro’s little doggie-ears flopping adorably as he raced towards his beloved “bros”. Then, they'd happily share every single precious moment from their day.

At least, that’s how it played out in my head.

The reality was…a tad different. Da boys did get off the bus…that part was just how I’d pictured it. However instead of spotting Metro and I, they'd both walked sulkily…heads down…eyes watching their feet…ignoring everything around them, including each other. When I called out to them, I realized they both had their iPods on. I started running towards them, but was suddenly jerked hard by Metro, who had unexpectedly stopped to smell some deer poop…that yes, I had inadvertently stepped in. Or maybe it was rabbit poop? I can’t be sure. By the time I finished gagging and cursing and dragging my shoes on the grass to try and remove said poop, da boys had gone inside.

I removed the offending shoes and got Metro and I back in the house. I had to tell the story twice about how I’d wanted to have this lovely, spontaneous moment…as both boys had retreated to their separate rooms. I found Connor (12) laying face-up on his bed, backpack still around his shoulder. Taylor (17) was found on his bed face-down…legs sprawled…hair all tousled. I couldn’t be angry with them for missing this Hallmark moment…they just looked too…pathetic.

They’re both starving as well. Connor settles on something fast. Taylor wants chili. The leftover chili I’d made from scratch yesterday…and frozen last night, with the assumption that there was no freakin’ way he’d want chili 2 days in a row. I’d run out of Tupperware, so I’d chosen (in my infinite wisdom) to freeze the massive amount of leftover chili in a huge Ziploc freezer bag. Now, I’ve got this solid rock of chili…its misshapen Ziploc-shape has rendered it too high for even my largest covered casserole dish…and all I want to do is nuke a portion and be done. I finally had to cut the bag away from the food with the Jaws of Life scissors and placed the whole SLAB on a serving platter and threw the whole thing in the microwave. Every few minutes, I’d pull it out and hack away at it with a knife (a-la Psycho…cue music here). After an eternity of hacking, chipping and stirring, I finally had a huge casserole of hot chili once again.

I call Taylor on his cell to arrange the pickup. I get his voicemail:

Tay: “Hey. I’m busy. Leave a message…or not. You can text me…or not. Whatever.” BEEP!

Me: “Taylor? This is your mother. It’s….(pause)…4:15pm on Friday, the….(pauses)…18th of September and…(pause)...what am I, insane?!?”

I disconnect and march down the stairs and hammer on his door. He’d fallen asleep.

K: “After all I’ve done for you!…the hacking!…and the stirring!…and the nuking!….and….the...the stirring! Your chili is ready.”

T: “Okay. Whatever.”

Grrrrrrr.

Lou said...

Lololol the tragedy that is motherhood.

Chrissy said...

Ahhh...you're makin' memories.

I can vouch for all your chili making efforts. Yay! Taylor wants it again. Congratulations. :-)

JD at I Do Things said...

Oh, what a good mom you are.

Oooh, I want me some chili. Is there any left?

I'm sorry your Hallmark moment didn't work out, but there will be other opportunities. Hopefully with less deer poo.

Ron said...

When I got to the part of you calling Taylor on his cell phone...I HOWLED!!!!

Is that not so PERFECT for what times have become?

God, when I was a kid I got a YELL from downstairs "RONNIE...DINNER IS ON THE TABLE!!!"

Great story, Kathryn!

P.S. Isn't deer poop adorable? Little pellets.

Kathryn said...

Lou: Okay, so I might be a *tad* dramatic. But seriously...it was the perfect Hallmark moment...turned into a Lifetime Movie of the Week!
Chrissy: Being that there's only about a 1-in-10 chance that it'll be edible, it was quite the accomplishment on my part. That's why Taylor wanted more.
JD: Thank you, my pretty. Yes, there's more but it's unbelievably HOT. The hotter, the better...my eyes watered making it. Eat at your own risk!
Ron: Aw! I can just see little Ronnie running up the stairs the SECOND his mom called him, 'cause you were SUCH A GOOD BOY. Not like these snarky cell-wearing whipper-snappers of today. Grrrr.
Ah! So it WAS deer poop! Little pellets...yup, that's what it was!

lifelove'n'wine said...

Haha, too funny. That sounds like my brothers...ah boys.

Mmmm...chili.

Kathryn said...

lifelove'n'wine: Yeah...chili. It's all gone...you wud not believe how much I made...and how fast he inhaled it!
Boys are insane....girls are MUCH BETTER. (At least, we are.)

JP said...

Yeah really girls aren't any better. Believe me. *sigh*

I'm so not looking forward to the next 6-7 years or so.

Kathryn said...

JP: Wait. Cryptic message....you have girls? Young? Still cute, but getting....shall we say, opinionated? Bossy? Rude?
No! Can it be?
I swear...no matter who I talk to, I get a different story. I think boys are a terror when little and even out a bit later on. Girls maybe the opposite.
You tell me. I only know BOYS.

susan F said...

My son always did that too- he fell asleep just when the food was ready. Then when I'd have everything cleaned up, he'd wake up hungry. And I can also relate to the feeling of making sentimental memories and kind of being "shot down". BOYS!

Kathryn said...

susan F: Isn't that so frustrating?? You just can't win...and they're like bottomless pits!!

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