- A treadmill that hasn’t been used since 2001.
- A box of plastic silverware with all the spoons missing.
- Three boxes (count ‘em, three) of 36/each unsharpened #2 pencils
- 3 pairs of matching gardening gloves and 3 left-handed orphans
- A quart container of Plaster of Paris (“Sets in 20-30 minutes!”)
- 5 plastic ice cube trays, containing no fewer than 5 different species of spiders
- A box containing 6 artificial butterflies (I knew you’d doubt this one, so here’s the proof:)
And a handy-dandy photo on the back of the box, in case you needed some more convincing as to why you absolutely must walk out of the store with these in your possession:
(Yes, the box is squashed.) See how realistic they look? Especially with all six fluttering around the same freakin’ plant?
Now. What do all of the above have in common?
5k to the first person with the correct answer. (You do realize the prize is 5k black pipe cleaners and not cash.....right?)
Anyway. The answer is…..it’s stuff in my garage!
Yes, folks….it’s that time once again. I’m cleaning out my garage. I realize it’s not spring (a-la spring cleaning) but I have my reasons.
I am seriously glad I do not have arachnophobia (fear of spiders). Or entomophobia, for that matter…which is a basic fear of insects in general….as garages seem to be a breeding ground for both. I’m also glad I don’t have automysophobia…which is evidently a fear of being personally filthy…which is why I’m heading off to the shower.
Can I interest anyone in purchasing an only slightly-used treadmill??