Sunday, July 19, 2009

Purge Heard 'Round the World

  • A treadmill that hasn’t been used since 2001.
  • A box of plastic silverware with all the spoons missing.
  • Three boxes (count ‘em, three) of 36/each unsharpened #2 pencils
  • 3 pairs of matching gardening gloves and 3 left-handed orphans
  • A quart container of Plaster of Paris (“Sets in 20-30 minutes!”)
  • 5 plastic ice cube trays, containing no fewer than 5 different species of spiders
  • A box containing 6 artificial butterflies (I knew you’d doubt this one, so here’s the proof:)

And a handy-dandy photo on the back of the box, in case you needed some more convincing as to why you absolutely must walk out of the store with these in your possession:

(Yes, the box is squashed.) See how realistic they look? Especially with all six fluttering around the same freakin’ plant?

Now. What do all of the above have in common?

5k to the first person with the correct answer. (You do realize the prize is 5k black pipe cleaners and not cash.....right?)

Anyway. The answer is…..it’s stuff in my garage!

Yes, folks….it’s that time once again. I’m cleaning out my garage. I realize it’s not spring (a-la spring cleaning) but I have my reasons.

I am seriously glad I do not have arachnophobia (fear of spiders). Or entomophobia, for that matter…which is a basic fear of insects in general….as garages seem to be a breeding ground for both. I’m also glad I don’t have automysophobia…which is evidently a fear of being personally filthy…which is why I’m heading off to the shower.

Can I interest anyone in purchasing an only slightly-used treadmill??

susan F said...

Do you get distracted reminiscing when you are cleaning out old stuff? I always do.

Kathryn said...

Oh, pulease....that's why I've got so much crap in the first place. School pics, old calendars...how can I throw it away? The worst part is that the boys'll probably heave it all when they're adults and I'm completely senile...

Straight Guy said...

Of course Paris Hilton gets plastered in 20 minutes, but why is she still in your garage?

Kathryn said...

Paris was plastered in my garage because she could not find a plastic spoon to properly measure and stir the questionable gin she'd found from 2003, that she ate with the Power Bar she found under my passenger seat, circa 2007. She's due to be released from the hosp. in 2-3 days.

Post a Comment

Fabulous Insights by Fabulous Readers