Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mom Must Be So Proud

In honor of last night’s Costume Institute Gala at New York’s Metropolitan Museum of Art, I’d like to remind everyone that just because you’re rich and beautiful does not necessarily mean that you always know what to wear.

(Disclaimer: This is MY opinion and only my opinion. You don’t have to agree with me if you don’t want to. Clinton (IV) may or may not agree with me on this…but since I’ll be pretty abstract and yet still glaringly funny with my comments, he will be hard pressed to disagree... since that’s just the kind of guy he is. He’ll probably stay mute on this issue, though…as he doesn’t want to publicly insult anyone…but if you're very quiet, you may be able to hear him chuckling.)

I do believe I created this exact black number on my first attempt at sewing in Home-Ec class. I cannot imagine how it wound up here…but I am certain I remember that particular runaway seam…(get it? run-a-way instead of runway? I crack myself up...) and overuse of material on the sleeves.

Here’s my good friend, Madonna. Notice the toned arms! Notice the bicycle gloves! What the hell happened to the rest of her dress? I do believe she’s understatingly (yes, I realize it’s not a word, Word) calling attention to the…ahem…crotch area…to draw the eye away from the teal-colored bat attacking her hair. (Clinton says “accessories don’t have to match…they just have to go”…I do believe this ensemble has left the building.)

Oh, Victoria. This is testament to one’s imagination when one does not know what to do with one’s extra, leftover material. (Notice the way Lorenzo’s laughing at my “heel bobble” reference…he totally gets me.)

Above is Tyra Banks with adorable hair. Yes, this is only my humble opinion…but we all know how intensely I feel about hair.

Here’s Tyra with no hair whatsoever. Why? I’m sure I do not know. Suffice to say, it’s out there.

Here’s Tyra with dog poo, a really bad hat, some kind of braided challah-like bun-thingie on her head.

And finally. I shall present two perspectives of Justin Timberlake. I’ll let you decide:

(Clears throat) Now…..what was I saying??

jh said...

Great fashion review. Are those gorgeous models twins?? Tyra is beautiful. I never got why so many people find Justin attractive. Yeh, he's got something, but it's not so obvious & I'm surprised everyone notices, what about you?

kathryn said...

I'm personally not a Timberlake fan, however...I am a living, breathing WO-man who simply must acknowledge the glaring difference between the nerd-look featured above and the rock-hard abs...and stellar pecs....

What was I saying?

Susan F said...

I agree about Tyra being beautiful. Justin never did it for me either. But I didn't think he was built like that...

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