Thursday, February 19, 2009

The Golden Egg

Today I received a rather interesting email. I’m really quite excited about it, as I’m sure it’s going to change my life…..FOREVER. (EVER, Ever, ever.)

My ever-lovin’ IV has picked this moment to chime in: “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?”

Kathryn: “Well, Clinton…I’m about to come into a rather substantial amount of green.”

CK: “Really? Did someone die? Because if someone died, you should at least pretend to be in mourning. Or at least a little bummed.”

K: “Well…what if someone died, but you’ve never met them?”

C: "You mean like a distant relative? I still think you need to show some resp--"

K: “NO. I mean, what if the someone who died is someone not related to you. No relation. No family….no nothin….except a whole lotta cold, hard cash….”

CK: “So…we’re talking internet money scam?”

K: “Precicely. Observe.”:

My Name is Mrs Janet Brown, I was diagnosed for cancer for about few weeks ago. I have been touched by God to donate from what I have inherited from my late husband to you for the good work of God/needy, I decided to WILL/donate the sum of $10 MILLION USD to you. Contact my Physican Dr Steve Astyl with this, specified email; { }, Tel; +44 70457 87160 for the funds release,my personal ref number law/WILL/9834520012. I will appreciate your utmost confidentiality in this matter until the task is accomplished as I don't want anything that will jeopardize my last wish. Regards, Mrs Janet Brown

CK: “Huh. So Mrs. Brown is still among the living. You do realize that she explicitly requests that you use ‘your utmost confidentiality in this matter’.”

K: “Yes, I’m well aware. Therefore, anyone reading this post is honor-bound to secrecy. No-one may walk away from their computers unless they pinkie-swear.”

CK: “Why do you suppose they have you calling her physician? Shouldn’t it be her attorney?”

K: “Pota-toes, pot-ah-toes. Who cares? It’s TEN MILLION (USD) bay-bee! WOOHOO.”

CK: “So, God told Mrs. Brown to give her dead husband’s ten million dollars for ‘the good work of God/needy’ you. Huh. What do you suppose she means by that? Can we call her before she kicks the bucket and have her clarify?”

K: “Nah. Look, she probably heard from a friend what a generous, caring person I am and she’s confident that I’ll know how to best spend distribute 10 mil (USD). I personally feel that old Jannie was just giving me a rough blueprint….a general set of guidelines, if you will…
I’m totally down with it. Brownie and I are on the same wavelength.”

CK: (Chuckles) “Well, as long as you’ve got it all figured out. I wonder what country this number goes to. Do you think Brownie has a sister?”

K: “HEY. Show some respect. I tracked some of the IP addresses on the email….the trail went from Stamford, Connecticut to Manhattan, to Nigeria….from there, it’s a dead end.”

CK: “Wow. You know how to do that? I’m impressed. What, exactly, does that mean?”

K: “I have no idea. It’s just a bunch of numbers and I punch ‘em into another piece of software and it gives me the city. I see here that this email was sent to “undisclosed recipients”. Huh. Do you think that means they may have sent more than one?”

CK: “Gee. Highly doubtful, given the special bond you’ve obviously shared with Brownie.”

K: “That’s true. Shall we go look at cars? Vacation homes? Wineries?”

CK: “Yes, yes and definitely. Lead the way, oh monied-one…”

(Kathryn’s overheard as they walk off-camera: “Can you loan me a twenty? I’m driving on fumes and my right front tire is losing air. I’ll pay you back…you know I’m good for it…..”)

Anonymous said...

I'm circulating this one to my friends. I hope it makes it as big as those stupid emails. That was hilarious! I'm going to have to get a thesaurus on different words for funny b/c of you.

kathryn said... sweet are you? Oh, and FYI: I've had several hits on this post from people googling the words from Brownie's email..I'm starting to suspect that I may not have been her favorite....

Anonymous said...

I'm dense. I can never figure out what they get out of these emails. I have a friend who got one, and for fun she set up a hotmail account and contacted them. She got some sort of response, but they didn't ask for anything. What's the angle?

kathryn said...

Sue: Who knows? I'd always assumed they hacked into your phone line and spent the next week calling their friends in Zimbabwe and every 900 number they knew. Maybe they want to see just how stupid people can be....

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