Fashionable Fallacy

With this marking the end of Fashion Week, I felt it appropriate to show you some of the high-end fashion that might not translate well into mainstream America….at least, not any America I’ve ever seen.

And as hard as my IV tries to interject, I’m doing this one solo. I mean…he doesn’t know freakin’ everything:

This first little number is something I call “Big-Bird-Meets-Gene Kelly”. I would like to point out that regardless of Clinton’s mantra that everything doesn’t have to be “matchy-matchy”, the above model is pretty much head-to-toe lemon. I’d like to know of one environment you could walk into where this ensemble would be appropriate. Okay, besides auditions for Muppets on Ice.

This one is a modern-day take on the one-piece jumpsuit from My Favorite Martian.

See what they were missing with those black & white teevees? All I keep thinking as I look at it is, “What happens when you have to pee?”

Oh, crap. Now I have to pee. ...……………………………………..

Here’s another throwback to the days when this designer was evidently homeless. It’s the addition of the designer-appliquéd gathering at the neck that allows it to retail for $595.00. This is not your mother’s Shop-Rite garbage bag, people.

Gosh…where do I begin? The linebacker shoulder pads, the shredded projector-ribbon bodice…the white socks…the...what is that?...tennis grips on her hands?….and that zombie stare…! Well, I guess that about covers that.

This reminds me of that dream you have when you leave the house and realize you’re not wearing any pants? Maybe the designer had the same dream…..

Here’s a great way to combine your love of dresses with your love of horse’s tails.

Now I have a hankering to play Pac Man….with a black & white cow. I am so embarrassed for her….

Gee. It’s……………..huh? How does she see in that thing? And here she’s been practicing her bored, I-don’t-give-a-crap blank stare for weeks….doesn’t it just figure??



I’m sure this designer was hell bent on making his show memorable. “Day ave NO FACES! Notting dat weel distract from my creashoons! Now, go…GO…..GO!!!”

And finally:

The shoes no gal is gonna want to be without. Victoria Beckham actually wore these $6,000.00 thigh-high PVC boots to a launch of her new fragrance at Macy’s.

Now, how many different words can we find to describe this wacky collection?