Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Back Door to Insanity

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast infection.

He was 91.

Known to friends as Brown-n-Serve, Fresh was an avid baker and enjoyed being poked in the abdominal area, which may have subsequently led to his early demise.

Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, Cracker Jack and Skippy.

The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he was kneaded."

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered to be a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes... conned by those who buttered him up.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions.

Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another bun in the oven.

The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

Anonymous said...

Where did this come from? Your imagination is active like yeast baby. Loved it! You know, I just ate a roll for breakfast! eww, i feel like a cannibal!

Straight Guy said...

There was always something slightly erotic and inappropriate about the poke and giggle routine.

Anonymous said...

R.I.P. Pop N Fresh.

kathryn said...

JH: "Active like yeast"? HA!
Straight Guy: I agree. I've always maintained that the poke and giggle bit reeked of something inappropriate.
Susan F: Thank you kindly, ma'am. The flowers were a nice touch!

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