Wednesday, January 28, 2009

I Can't Complain (But Sometimes I Still Do.)

My computer and I are in the midst of a brawl. I hope we’re not going to break up. It seems we are becoming less and less compatible. It’s getting slower and tiresome, whilst I am getting younger and more energetic.

Today (snow day #572 and counting) I needed to download something onto Connor’s (12) computer and realized that his computer (several years older than laptop and also wireless) is light years faster than mine!

C’est impossible! Pas acceptable!

And so began the Quest for The Explanation of the Lagging Computer….brought to you by Viagra…and Botox Cosmetics.

I was convinced it was a software issue…or an add-on issue…or maybe it just isn’t that into me anymore. Whatever the reason, I planned on getting to the bottom of it. Or we were gonna need to take a serious break and I just know that you, my faithful readers, would wind up as innocent pawns in this dispute.

So, after several inquires to Microsoft.com and one disconnected-in-the-middle-of-the-conversation with Comcast later, laptop and I found ourselves in the living room, in front of a roaring fire and hard-wired to a convenient Ethernet cable that I’d run out Taylor’s (downstairs) window…up the house…and into the living room window.

“Why…in heaven’s name….did you do that,” you ask? Trust me…I have my reasons…suffice to say its purpose long ago expired and it is only due to pure laziness on my part that it’s still there. Do you know how long it’s gonna take me to strip off all the duct tape I used to “winterize” the spot where it exits and enters the house? Anyone who wants to volunteer for this job is welcome…anytime.

Anyway. As I was saying.

By hardwiring my laptop, I discovered that it was about ten times faster than in my office as a wireless device. A-HA!

Of course, discovering the specifics of the lagging issue did not necessarily mean I was any closer to unraveling this conundrum. Laptop can be a typical guy when it comes to its innermost emotions…clutching them tightly to its chest and acting all cool and nonchalant.

Only, it's also being sluggish...and s-l-o-w. And that's not okay...I don't care what your gender.

After a serious talking-to, a good cry and a good hour navigating Google, we settled on some driver updates on my wireless settings. I haven’t unhooked it from its hardwire yet to take it for a test drive to see if it’s faster…I figure I’ll take advantage of the speed for a few minutes more.

There’s always tomorrow.

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