Wednesday, December 3, 2008

If You THINK It, You Will BECOME It

When I was 16, I had a massive crush on a guy by the name of Tony. Tony was the captain of the football team and was officially, knock-one-outta-the-ballpark gorgeous. I was a mere junior in high school and he was a senior.

One day, I decided that if I ever wanted him to notice me, I’d have to act like I was already dating him. An interesting concept, as “The Secret” was not to be conceived till many, many years later...(do you think the statute of limitations has run out on any chance of a copyright lawsuit?)

I wound up not only dating him but made out with him till 4am one weekend and arrived home to flashing police lights in my driveway.

But, that’s a story for another day.

My point is that there’s something to be said for faking it. You know….the element of pretending like you know what you’re doing when you haven’t a clue.

“Flying by the seat of one’s pants”, if you will.

I’m hoping to God that someone out there knows what I’m talking about…or I’m in deep kaka.

I know you’re just dying for some examples of this theory in action…and who am I to disappoint? I mean…this from the originator of the phrase “So, how hard can it be??” (Absolutely, positively no pun intended. Seriously.)

About two years ago, I bought one of those handy-dandy home-haircutting kits. It kind of looks like a dog-grooming tool. (Don’t tell da boys I’ve said this…I will adamantly deny it.) It wasn’t for my hair, of course…but I figured “they’re boys…it grows so freakin’ fast…even if I completely screw it up…”

Well, you get my logic.

It came in an official-hairdresser-looking molded silver case and even included an instructional video, which I may have actually watched once, then promptly re-used to record an eppy of Gilmore Girls…or something of equal importance.

I figured “I’ve watched many…nay, hundreds…of haircuts. I will simply act the part of a haircutting professional…and the expertise required to master the simplistic art of snipping follicles of hair will just…magically materialize… and manifest itself into the most professional of haircuts ever witnessed”…on a residential level, of course.

A few glasses of Cloudy help immensely to lay the groundwork in preparation for the task at hand.

It is not easy to assume the role of a professional-anything…you must become the (fill in the blank). If you believe it, you will become it.

I am so freakin’ wise….it scares me.

I’ll bet you’re a little afraid yourself, right now...

Don’t worry….it’s hair.

It grows back….

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